Ryan reviews Crash, one of the worst movies to ever win the Best Picture Oscar. Brought to you by former Facts of Life writer Paul Haggis, Crash is the movie that dares to say racism is bad, while teaching us all to be better people through laughter, tears, and Sandra Bullock.

Ryan hosts another episode of the Movie Skewer to look at The Golden Compass, based on a novel near and dear to him. New Line scrubbed away the book’s anti-Christian themes when they adapted it into a movie, along with all traces of anything dark or disturbing. Watch as Ryan examines the end result: a bland movie-by-committee where nothing is at stake.

“Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.”

“Delgo is the trite tale of two species battling for control of their generic fantasyland and the star-crossed lovers (voiced by Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt) caught in the middle, featuring cheap CGI, endless clichés, and terrible comic relief courtesy of an exceptionally irritating Chris Kattan. If you missed this one in theaters (and odds are very, very good that you did), here’s your chance to find out if it’s as bad as its domestic gross suggests!”

“In this episode, Fear Fan leaves behind the world of horror movies to examine the awful 1990 direct-to-video Albert Pyun-directed Captain America, starring Ronny Cox, Ned Beatty, and J.D. Salinger’s son as Cap. Our own Stan Ferguson previously covered the 1979 Reb Brown version, but this one is much worse, despite being a lot more faithful to the comics.”