“Fantastic actress, and star of some of my favorite movies, including Bikini a-Go-Go (now called Curse of the Erotic Tiki), Miss Lynne has more to offer the world than a willingness to star in nudity-oriented film spoofs, though those are worth checking out. She’s also a good cook, and advocates good hygiene!”

“Rambo kills three guys with one arrow. Good thing the arrows blow up, otherwise this would just be silly.”

“Yep, that’s pretty much all there is to it: every week, MacGyver finds himself in some kind of crisis situation and has to save himself (and generally a plucky kid or an attractive woman or a villageful of ethnic peasants) with nothing but his Swiss Army Knife and various convenient bits and bobs he finds along the way. I warn you now: the word ‘convenient’ will crop up a lot in these recaps.”

“Most of you have never heard of this show, and with good reason. They only made six episodes, of which only five ever aired, and despite the involvement of the legendary Sid and Marty Krofft, and the fact that it gave ensemble member Jim Varney his big break, there is not one human being in existence who puts this show on their résumé.”

“Action Comics #176, cover dated January 1953, features Superman being an unbelievable dick, even by Superman standards. He alienates all of his friends, completely trashes his own image, and deliberately turns public opinion against him for rather unimpressive reasons. I almost think the writer came up with this story just for a laugh, never thinking it would actually ever see the light of day.”

“Dan Woods played teacher (and later, principal) Dan Raditch on all five seasons of Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High, and then returned to play Raditch again on Degrassi: The Next Generation for four more seasons. Despite being one of the ‘adults’, to me Mr. Raditch has always been a key ingredient in the Degrassi formula, and the show just hasn’t been the same without him.”

“It’s possible none of these guys are entirely sane.”

“Yes sir, Lloyd’s come a long way from his days as a location executive, to the head of the longest running independent movie company in America. Troma’s movies cover almost every subject matter, with lots of sex and violence thrown in, all for budgets that wouldn’t buy lunch in most studios.”

“I get the sense that Farmer Brown won’t be threatening Joker for the spot of top dog in Arkham once Batman nails his ass to a wall.”

“Unlike the Tom Hanks appearance, ‘Help Wanted’ cannot be classified as a ‘very special episode’ in any sense of the term, because it deals with absolutely no touchy subjects. In fact, this is one of those rare Family Ties episodes that’s genuinely funny, thanks mostly to Geena Davis’ warm and lovable screen presence.”

“You know how Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is this really insane, nonsensical, and totally brainless movie musical featuring great Beatles songs performed badly? Remove the words “great” and “Beatles” from the previous sentence, and you’re getting close to a description of this movie.”

“This movie eats!”

“Okay, this episode is already turning into bad fanfic written by a bored housewife in love with David Hasselhoff.”

“Way back in the early 1980s, producer Glen A. Larson was the king of television, with seemingly dozens of series running on practically every network. Accounts vary on how exactly he came up with the idea of a series about a talking car, but this pilot is the genesis of a show that lasted four years, and spawned several follow-on TV movies, and another, less successful series in 2008. The original Knight Rider was the first series to air opposite Dallas and survive, which is pretty impressive. This is how it all started.”

“The only way this could be more uncomfortable to watch is if it were Bea Arthur up there.”

“Bill doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with the fan dance, probably because he and Nichelle Nichols are in the same age bracket.”

“Brittany Murphy plays a renowned seismologist here, and comes off about as credible as, well, Brittany Murphy playing a renowned seismologist. Get ready for a depressing set of screencaps in this recap, because Murphy looks (and sounds) terrible throughout. I can’t tell if her total lack of energy is due to her health issues, or her just plain hating the material.”

“In general, attempts to shoehorn real-life celebrities into comics are pretty disastrous, and have the unfortunate side effect of dating the issue before it even hits the presses. Doubly so when the famous person is already dated in and of himself.”

“I generally don’t bitch about a film using live, on-the-set special effects, but when the ‘supposed to be likable’ lead character has the eyes of a killer, I balk.”

“Socrates was a firm believer in teaching by asking, ‘Why?’ Darren Lynn Bousman is a firm believer in teaching by asking, ‘Would you be capable of figuring this out without me here to hold your hand’?”