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on Tuesday, February 19, 2013
It's the premiere of What We Had to Watch, where your host Il Neige braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking! In his Agony Booth debut, Il Neige takes a look at the fantasy adventure Eragon, a film based on a book written by a kid, for kids. It's the Kidz Bop of Fantasy Literature!
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
“Yet, as a person, I like Jamie Dornan more for not being able to be the twat waffle that Christian is.”Ender’s Game (2013)
“Unfortunately, Ender is the only one who ever becomes fleshed out in three-dimensional form, with the rest of the cast seemingly there only to justify his bloody-yet-brilliant existence. It’s like having a high performance sports car and only being able to race it against family minivans.”Timeline (2003)
“They join the battle alongside the French, all the while causing, presumably, numerous time paradoxes by blatantly messing with history. Or not. Timeline doesn’t really concern itself with such trivia.”Gone Girl (2014)
“The sequence where the big twist is revealed is worth the price of admission all on its own.”Heaven is for Real is really dumb
“If there’s one quality that entertainment for Christians shares with video games made for pre-teen girls, it’s the idea that conflict is a dirty word.”The Host (2013)
“Stephenie Meyer does for the alien invasion genre what she did for vampires and werewolves: she takes away everything you love about it, stuffs it with her own bizarre mythology, and uses it mostly to create a love triangle and romantic angst.”
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