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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Michael A. Novelli
on Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)
Stephenie Meyer's novel gets split into two movies to extract an additional billion dollars from Twi-hards who line up for these things no matter how tedious or repulsive they get. And this one is certainly repulsive, as Bella gets pregnant with a half-vampire baby who treats her womb like a bouncy castle, Edward performs a Cesarean with his teeth, and Jacob embarks on an 18 year quest to groom his future wife.Twilight (2008)
UPDATED Nov. 7, 2012 with commentary from Sofie!
Sofie revisits the movie that started a billion-dollar sparkly vampire franchise, 2008’s Twilight! Join her as she relives those first magical moments when codependency true love blossomed between Edward and Bella!strongThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)
It's the first video of Sofie's Twilight Month (which will probably now last into April) as she reviews the final Twilight film, Breaking Dawn: Part 2. It's the end of a saga... Yeah, a saga, sure.Twilight (2008)
"No matter how good of a job the director did, and no matter how hard the screenwriters worked, nobody else's talent is ever going to fix the middle-aged woman's disturbing sparkly wank-dream that is Twilight."The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)
Together with the Porn Critic, Sofie witnesses such exciting things as... a marriage! And a pregnancy! And pedophilia! Oh, Twilight, what will you come up with next?Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
"Every shot is tilted at a different angle. I'd call this 'jarring', but I'd worry about offending jars."
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