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The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Michael A. Novelli
on Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Michael A. Novelli steps up to host the Movie Skewer and take over our coverage of the Twilight Saga: the continuing misadventures of a vacant, passive high school girl, the creepy vampire who controls her, and the werewolf/rapist-in-training who comes between them! In the third installment, Bella and Edward are engaged, which pisses off Jacob, while Victoria organizes an army of “newborn” vampires to kill Bella and get revenge on Edward. So yeah, pretty much the same plot as New Moon, only this time they pay Bryce Dallas Howard to stand around and do nothing.
Ender’s Game (2013)
“Unfortunately, Ender is the only one who ever becomes fleshed out in three-dimensional form, with the rest of the cast seemingly there only to justify his bloody-yet-brilliant existence. It’s like having a high performance sports car and only being able to race it against family minivans.”Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
"Every shot is tilted at a different angle. I'd call this 'jarring', but I'd worry about offending jars."The Great Gatsby (2013)
“A lot of the dialogue seemed to be entirely forced, as if the cast was stuck in class and the teacher was making them read aloud.”The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)
“For those of us who have already seen LOTR, this is a nice look back at those films, and for those completely new to the trilogy, The Hobbit is a an exciting film that stands as a worthwhile story its own right.”Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike (2012)
“It’s safe to say that with its stilted acting, clumsy dialogue, and TV movie-level cinematography, Atlas Shrugged II is Objectively bad.”The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
“Catching Fire is a far superior, more adult film than The Hunger Games, as we see the young characters we recognize from the first film grow into the people that could potentially help shape a new world. In particular, we watch as Katniss begins to believe in the power she could wield, and we wonder if this mockingjay has finally spread her wings.”
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