True Detective: Church in Ruins

truedetective_title

FADE IN:

INT. VINCE VAUGHN’S PLACE

VINCE VAUGHN and COLIN FARRELL are sat across from each other while POINTING GUNS underneath the TABLE.

VINCE VAUGHN
How do you take your coffee? Black with no bullets, I hope.

COLIN FARRELL
As black as my heart, thank you.

VINCE VAUGHN
You want to tell me what this is about or are we going to sit here and flare our nostrils at each other?

COLIN FARRELL
Eight years ago, you gave me the name of the man who raped my wife and I killed him to death with murder. Well guess what? They caught the guy last month. Soooo what gives?

VINCE VAUGHN
I can actually explain myself perfectly, but instead, why don’t I flip this into a moral referendum on you? You were always a killer, Colin. I just allowed you to become the man you wanted to be. Getting you under my thumb in the process was, shall we say, a bonus?

COLIN FARRELL
Who got you the name?

VINCE VAUGHN
I’ll tell you who if you get me the city manager’s stolen hard drive.

COLIN FARRELL
You really think this is the best time to make that a conditional thing? Maybe I’m not in too much of a mood to help you out right now.

TRUE DETECTIVE: Church in Ruins

“I mean, look at my face!”

VINCE VAUGHN
Speaking of helping me out, did you get any dirt on my assistant?

COLIN FARRELL
Oh yeah, he’s been running girls under your nose, all for escort parties where the city manager made all kinds of deals with powerful people.
(beat)
Look, I came here to threaten you, but that obviously isn’t working. I think I’ll go visit my wife’s actual rapist in prison and see if I can make him shit his pants instead.

VINCE VAUGHN
While you do that, I’m going to console the family of one of my underlings who got killed two or three episodes ago, I can’t remember.

COLIN FARRELL
Please don’t start throwing around your weirdly worded philosophies when you do that, okay?

VINCE VAUGHN
Oh no, that scene will actually be used to show that, irony of ironies, I’d make a decent father.

COLIN gets up and just sort of PETERS OUT OF THE ROOM.

INT. RACHEL MCADAMS’ APARTMENT

RACHEL MCADAMS is training how to STAB A WOODEN EFFIGY while her SISTER, LEVEN RAMBIN, looks on.

LEVEN RAMBIN
I got you an invite to one of those escort parties. You’ll have to pretend to be a ditzy call girl, though.

RACHEL MCADAMS
Hut, hut, hah! I call that one the “Knife Knowing You.” I’m sorry, you were saying?

LEVEN RAMBIN
Oh, basically that this is the kind of behaviour you’re going to have to tone down just a smidgeon. Besides, they’re going to frisk you, so you can’t smuggle any knives in there.

RACHEL MCADAMS
For fuck’s sake, this is the sixth episode and I haven’t stabbed a single dude yet! I seriously hope this isn’t all a big character metaphor for how I’m “sharp” or “on the edge” or something.

INT. COLIN FARRELL’S HOUSE

COLIN is trying to entertain his SON, TREVOR LARCOM, while a SOCIAL WORKER observes.

COLIN FARRELL
You want to build another model? I’ve got a stealth bomber here, which can flatten entire cities in the blink of an eye. Isn’t that the dopest shit you’ve ever heard?

TREVOR LARCOM
Can’t we just watch reruns of Friends?

COLIN FARRELL
Sure, go ahead. I’ll do my best to fight off any digs about you probably not having any actual friends.

"But none of the later seasons, okay? The magic was totally gone."

“But none of the later seasons, okay? The magic was totally gone, and the characters became caricatures of themselves.”

The SOCIAL WORKER starts FURIOUSLY TAKING NOTES.

COLIN FARRELL
What are you writing down? There’s nothing dramatic going on here!

SOCIAL WORKER
With your acting, it’s kind of hard to tell when something isn’t dramatic.

COLIN FARRELL
Might as well own it then.
(intense stare, shaky voice)
Trevor, I want you to know something. No matter what anyone else tells you, I am your father, and I will always love you.

TREVOR LARCOM
K.

COLIN FARRELL
That’s it? I bare my heart and soul to you and all I get is “K?” Christ, it’s like texting my high school crush all over again!

When TREVOR and the SOCIAL WORKER leave, COLIN decides to go on a COCAINE BENDER and TRASHES HIS APARTMENT. He then puts in a call to his EX-WIFE, who is played by ABIGAIL SPENCER.

ABIGAIL SPENCER
Ah, it’s about fucking time these abridged scripts started including me! I’m a crucial character, you know!

COLIN FARRELL
I don’t know, you just appear to be doing your Rectify thing all over again. Look, I want to make a deal with you. I’ll stay away from you and Trevor if you drop the paternity test. Just let him believe I’m his father.

ABIGAIL SPENCER
Colin, I need to know for myself. You’re asking me to live a life of permanent uncertainty and deny every maternal instinct I have!

COLIN FARRELL
Pretty please with a cherry on top?

ABIGAIL SPENCER
Oh okay. I guess I can still get a paternity test on the down-low.

COLIN FARRELL
I think I might just go ahead and pass out now.

"I figured, I can smell the booze right through the phone."

“I figured. I can smell the booze right through the phone.”

INT. RACHEL MCADAMS’ APARTMENT

COLIN and TAYLOR have joined RACHEL to discuss their NEXT MOVE. TAYLOR is casually playing with ONE OF RACHEL’S KNIVES, which sends her into PAROXYSMS OF ECSTASY.

RACHEL MCADAMS
So, Taylor and I have found a forest shack where someone was tortured to death.

TAYLOR KITSCH
I’ve also been tracking the diamonds we found in the city manager’s safety deposit box, which tie back to a jewellery store robbery during the 1992 L.A. riots. Yup, now we have that thematic overhead to deal with.

COLIN FARRELL
Fucking what? The L.A. Riots? Look, I think you guys are confusing complication for complexity, and I am way too hungover for any of that shit. Let’s just talk about the party we’re going to crash, okay? At least that’s something more immediate and concrete.

INT. APARTMENT

After having TORTURED A GUY, VINCE and his THUGS have tracked down the APARTMENT of the GIRL who pawned THE CITY MANAGER’S POSSESSIONS on behalf of CESAR GARCIA. I THINK. LOOK, I CAN BARELY KEEP TRACK EITHER.

VINCE VAUGHN
Oh look at that, nobody’s here. What are we thinking? Trap? I’m thinking trap, guys.

Suddenly, BENJAMIN BENITEZ and HIS OWN GANG OF THUGS bust in. Everybody PULLS THEIR GUNS on everybody else.

VINCE VAUGHN
Look at that, a Mexican standoff with actual Mexicans!

BENJAMIN BENITEZ
Hey, that’s the actual line from the episode.

VINCE VAUGHN
Yeah, but it’s actually a good one! Coming from me! That deserves to be kept for posterity.

BENJAMIN BENITEZ
What do you want? You already showed us the door when we came ’round your club to threaten you.

VINCE VAUGHN
I’m looking for the girl who did all the stuff in the scene description. I hear she’s with your crew. You help me find her, you can run the club three days a week.

BENJAMIN BENITEZ
I’ll put you in touch with her. After that, I might slit her throat, leave her for you to find, and come in on the club anyway. I haven’t decided yet.

EXT. MANSION

RACHEL, who is now dressed like RED CARPET RACHEL, has been taken to a MANSION UP NORTH on a BUS. COLIN and TAYLOR have followed CLOSE-BY.

It's like America's Next Top Model, only much worse.

It’s like America’s Next Top Model, only much worse.

RACHEL MCADAMS
Holy fuck, I think I walked into the set of Eyes Wide Shut! Random flashes of sex everywhere! Oh, and pretty much ALL the seedy and hopelessly corrupt men we’ve seen so far are here!

She is given a dose of MDMA and starts flashing back to a SEXUAL TRAUMA from her PAST.

RACHEL MCADAMS
Oh sure! Sexual violence as a means to give female characters substance while overlooking the complexities of women as equal participants! Why not?

In one of the ROOMS, she sees a DOPED OUT MIRANDA RAE MAYO, who is THAT MISSING GIRL. REMEMBER?

RACHEL MCADAMS
Oh my God, Miranda! I have to get you out of here!

RACHEL is suddenly GRABBED BY A GUARD, but before getting CHOKED OUT, she manages to STAB HIM TO DEATH.

RACHEL MCADAMS
Finally! Better blade than never, am I right? Haaaa!

Meanwhile, TAYLOR has lifted some INCRIMINATING DOCUMENTS from one of the OFFICES. He meets RACHEL and MIRANDA at the BACKDOOR.

RACHEL MCADAMS
Here, hold the Mayo!

MIRANDA RAE MAYO
That’s not funny.

They all run down to COLIN’S CAR and NARROWLY ESCAPE underneath a FULL MOON.

FADE OUT

TV Show: True Detective

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