Articles tagged with #Ed Harris's Tribute to Insanely Cheesy Action Movies @ the agony booth : making fun of movies and TV since 2002

#ed harris's tribute to insanely cheesy action movies

Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987)
Posted Jan 3 2012 by Ed Harris

“Come to think of it, James Earl Jones does go through the entire film looking like wants to Force Choke someone. And I can sympathize.”

movie recap

Warrior of the Lost World (1983)
Posted Jun 13 2011 by Ed Harris

“There’s more padding in the rest of this film than in Travolta’s Battlefield Earth codpiece.”

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Commando (1985)
Posted Mar 22 2011 by Ed Harris

“In fact, screw Out of Africa, this is the Best Picture of 1985!”

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Broken Arrow (1996)
Posted Jan 13 2011 by Ed Harris

“Slater is a solid actor (though the whole mini-Jack Nicholson thing more than likely torpedoed his career), but he’s just not a believable action guy. Especially when you pit him against John Travolta right at the beginning of his ‘fuck it, I like cheeseburgers and I’m rich and famous enough to get away with putting on a few pounds!’ phase.”

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The Specialist (1994)
Posted Aug 14 2010 by Ed Harris

“For some reason, this film was marketed as a more ‘serious’ movie, even though I’m pretty certain anybody who’s a fan of either Sylvester Stallone or Sharon Stone doesn’t go to the movies for serious dramatics. Stallone’s fans go to see him kill a lot of things and be macho, and Stone’s fans go in the vain hope she’ll do another leg spreading scene like in Basic Instinct. To be fair, she does get naked in this film. On the downside, so does Sly.”

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King Solomon's Mines (1985)
Posted Jun 15 2010 by Ed Harris

“Obviously, they were going for a movie similar to the Indiana Jones films, but as we’ll see, they had neither the resources nor the skill to pull it off.”

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The Running Man (1987)
Posted Mar 24 2010 by Ed Harris

“Man, this is just not a good film for Arnold, from a sartorial point of view.”

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Rambo III (1988)
Posted Feb 4 2010 by Ed Harris

“Rambo kills three guys with one arrow. Good thing the arrows blow up, otherwise this would just be silly.”

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Revenge of the Ninja (1983)
Posted Oct 11 2009 by Ed Harris

"This is what happens when your evil lair is just your house. When you have to resort to your personal sauna and hot tub as death traps, it's time to change careers, I think."

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Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
Posted Sep 13 2009 by Ed Harris

"He's about as personable as... Well, he's called Lone Wolf McQuade for a reason, and it ain't because he marks his territory by pissing on things. Though, based on the shape his home and office are in, I wouldn't put it past him."

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Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991)
Posted Jul 7 2009 by Ed Harris

"Any sense of reality is not to be found here."

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Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)
Posted Apr 29 2009 by Ed Harris

"See, this is why you don’t get a vigilante to play spy."

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Marked for Death (1990)
Posted Feb 9 2009 by Ed Harris

"Can you really have a gentle side if one of the things hanging on your wall is a picture frame full of guns?"

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Tango & Cash (1989)
Posted Dec 8 2008 by Ed Harris

"Kurt Russell has guns built into his footwear in this film. Suck on that, Chuck Norris!"

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Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
Posted Jul 27 2008 by Ed Harris

"Chuck Norris plays Matt Hunter, a former government agent who now spends his time doing two things: 1) wrestling gators in Florida and 2) being stoic. Meanwhile, a psychotic Russian named Rostov (played by B-movie staple Richard Lynch) is leading an invasion of America by a combined force of Russian and Cuban bad guys. He also has a rather huge grudge against Hunter, which pulls our hero into the action."

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Stone Cold (1991)
Posted May 5 2008 by Ed Harris

"The bike crashes through the window... and right into the helicopter... which proceeds to go up in a huge fireball. Okay, maybe this film does have one thing Road House doesn't."

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Action Jackson (1988)
Posted Dec 10 2007 by Ed Harris

"Is there a more over the top way of killing your enemy than sending a team of goons over to his place to fire bomb him into the afterlife? I can only imagine they went that route because a tactical nuke would have been too expensive."

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