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The Bunny Perspective!
Hosted by: Phil Buni
Media reviews and analysis by a pot smoking, puppet bunny. Do you like weird-but-great underground films? Hate Glee, Gigli, and other Hollywood garbage? The Bunny Perspective offers a blend of humorously angry negative reviews, and honest praise of underground movies and TV. We talk about films, TV, anime, and animation. We are the Cult of the Bunny, and you too can be a Cultist. #CultoftheBunny
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Cheap-Arse Film Review
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It's the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it's possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that's only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
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The DVD Shelf
Hosted by: David Rose
Life is short, so skip the bad movies and let your host David Rose reveal, review, and recommend the ones you should have on your own DVD shelf. The DVD Shelf is a film-lover's safe haven to bask in the warm glow of cult favorites, over-looked cinematic gems, rediscovered classics, and downright fun flicks on both DVD and Blu-ray.
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
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Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
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Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Solkir
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
Joshua the Anarchist
Hosted by: Joshua Bell
Charged with the crime of liking Batman & Robin, Joshua the Anarchist has been declared insane and committed to Arkham Asylum. Locked away in a padded cell, he'll endure movie after movie as doctors attempt to "treat" him. He may not have gone in a madman, but he soon will be.
Minority Report Reviews
Hosted by: Tom Marriott
Minority Report Reviews is where often slated or just plain forgotten films and TV shows come for an ego boost. Focusing primarily on unloved sequels, your host Tom Marriott takes questions from the general public to showcase the positives in these films. Love it or hate it, this is the show where you can have your say and see a guilty pleasure defended by the host with the most... strange tastes.
Movie Dorkness
Hosted by: Sofie Liv
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The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
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Mystery Madness
Hosted by: Full of Questions
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PGSM Summaries
Hosted by: Nycea
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The Porn Critic
Hosted by: Porn Critic
Comedy reviews of the worst and most bizarre adult films available, by a character called the Porn Critic, who tends to focus on the acting bits rather than the actual sex! Who knew continuity errors and bad dialogue could lead to chronic flaccidity?
Reel vs. Reel
Hosted by: Animated Heroine
Animation isn't just for kids; it's also for adults who never learned how to grow up. In Reel vs. Reel, the Animated Heroine looks at two similar animated films to see which one comes out on top and why. Her love for good animated films is only matched by her cynicism towards the bad ones.
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
the agony booth
Xanadu (1980) Movie Recap Page 6 of 7
Posted by LaShawn Wanak Posted on: November 21, 2007
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7


So, apparently, that dance sequence must've have taken up the whole night, because it's dawn when Sonny and Kira go outside. They make mushy love talk, with Sonny laying the L-word on her (no, not that L-word, come on, now), and they kiss. Again. My foot's about to go through the screen, I tell you. But then Kira breaks away, saying, "We can't go on pretending this is for real!" Sonny is baffled—and so am I. She's a muse! She can make up any reality she wants, as we've already seen in graphic detail. Come on, Kira. Does turning into a cartoon bird ring any bells with you?

But Kira goes on to say that she "can't have these kind of feelings." Sonny doesn't understand. Oh, but I do. It's quite simple.

You see, in order to make a movie out of a plot this paper-thin, some artificial conflict needs to be inserted somewhere. That supposed drama with Sonny hating his job? That was nothing. It got resolved too quickly. So the filmmakers, having satisfied their need to become music video directors, are just now realizing they have a movie without any conflict whatsoever. So they better come up with something, fast!

The article continues after this advertisement...

And so, Kira, who so far has been emanating all the personality of a rainbow-laden oil slick, suddenly has the burning need to tell Sonny all about herself. And Sonny, who was previously digging into her private life, and not more than three scenes ago was griping, "No questions, no truth," does a complete 180. He says, "I know all I need to know." Say what?

Kira insists that she needs to tell him, and then, in a very abrupt cut, they're at Sonny's place. The shutter wipe machine must be still twitching from epileptic shock. No longer her "cheerful" self, Kira tells Sonny that she was only sent to make Xanadu happen. She finally reveals that she's a muse. Sonny deadpans, "I'm glad somebody's having a good time." No, Sonny. None of us are having a good time.

Kira goes on to tell him her history: "I come from Mount Helicon. I'm the daughter of Zeus. I have eight sisters. My real name is Ter—" and that's as far as she gets before Sonny shuts her up by kissing her. Personally, I believe the writers did this intentionally. If they really did invoke the name "Terpsichore", all of Mount Helicon would have materialized and delivered savage beatdowns to both of them.

Sonny pulls back to ask if that kiss was real. Kira says, "I'm trying to tell you the truth. Why don't you believe me?" Gee, I don't know, could it be because you've been so very forthcoming for the entire movie?

She then hands him a dictionary and tells him to look up the word "muse". Oh, come on. Surely even Sonny knows what a muse is. He can't be that dumb. Then again, this is the guy who rode a scooter off a pier at two miles an hour. Sonny humors her by reading the definition out loud, and it ends with the phrase, "And do you believe me now, Sonny?" Muses can insert words into books? This gives a whole new meaning to revisionist history! Put this girl to work for Joseph Stalin!


moron (noun) see: Sonny Malone.

In an utterly unsurprised voice, Sonny asks how she did that. Kira then points to the TV and it turns on by itself. So now we're down to cheap parlor tricks? Guess the special effects budget got cleaned out by the "shopping for glitz" musical montage. On the TV, a tuxedoed guy named Nick is being held at gunpoint by another guy in a fedora. Suddenly, Nick starts talking to Sonny directly. Sonny moves closer. "How can you be talking to me? You're a movie!" Oh please. Earlier you turned into a cartoon fish. It's way too late to start questioning this movie's logic now.

Seeing that Sonny still doesn't get it, Kira magically inserts herself into the movie, and waves at him. Sonny falls back, stunned. Nick goes, "I think he needs a drink." Way ahead of you, Nick. The real Kira says she'll take care of it, and if there were any living cells left in my brain, they would wonder how Kira can be both inside and outside of the TV in the same shot. Nick wishes Sonny good luck on the opening of Xanadu, and Kira shuts the TV off.


You just can't have too many Olivia Newton-Johns.

Kira consoles a shell-shocked Sonny. "We're not supposed to feel emotion or show any feelings [bang-up job so far, Kira]. Muses are just supposed to inspire." Yuh-huh. You certainly had no problems playing with Danny's feelings, and he has a zillion times more talent than Sonny.

Sonny shoots back with a well-earned, "Well, what do you think happened to me?" She replies, "It was a mistake. I broke the rules." Oh, okay, then. That makes it all better. Luckily for Kira, I'm far too polite to call her a certain word. That, and a lot of my brain cells have died, so I can't really remember the word in the first place.

However, that very word must be going through Sonny's mind, because he pulls away from her. "Well, what the hell do we do now? Answer that, muse!" Kira attempts to apologize, while Sonny stands by the window in a huff. Or maybe he's checking on his car. It's kind of hard to tell by his tone of voice.

Kira sadly goes to the stairs, and it dawns on Sonny she's leaving. She gives him one final "I love you forever", and whoosh! Up she goes in a glowing special effect! Leaving Sonny standing there with a dumbstruck... uh, lovelorn... er... oh, who am I kidding? It's his usual, blank, slightly bewildered look that he's been wearing for the whole movie.


"You want me to do what with that pointed stick?"

Oh look, the shutter wipe machine is working again. What a relief. We're back on the beach, and Danny casually strolls over to the rocks where he and Sonny first met. Sonny is sitting there, being his normal, grumpy, whiny, moody self. But you know what? I prefer this Sonny over the lovey-dovey, moony, kissy-face one. How sad is that?

Danny says that everyone will miss him tonight at the grand opening. Sonny grumbles, "I told you, I can't go. Xanadu doesn't matter anymore!"

He whines, "There's no Xanadu, 'cause there's no Kira. She made it real." And this would be the perfect spot to end the movie. Really. I'd have no problems with the credits rolling over Sonny sitting on the beach, growing older, and moping about a lost love. Unfortunately, Danny tells Sonny to find Kira and bring her back. Sadly, this means the movie must contain more scenes where... stuff happens. And not very interesting stuff, either.

Then comes an exchange of dialogue that's supposed to be pivotal, but just sounds idiotic, even coming from Gene Kelly:

Sonny: Dreams die.
Danny: No. No, no, no. Not by themselves. We—we kill them. Now if you give up, you'll be sitting on that rock thirty years from now just like I was. I know how you feel, kid. I felt the same way once. I did. I didn't know how important love is. But let me tell you something. Somehow, somewhere, there's a way to get her! If she got here, there's a way to get there! Believe me, kid, it's up to you. It's—it's up to you.

So, let me get this straight. Instead of telling Sonny to snap out of it, and be a man, and go to the damn opening of his own club, he instead tells Sonny to go chase after a woman? The same woman who ditched him thirty years ago? And if that's not enough, the whole "if she got here, there's a way to get there" crap very intentionally sets up Sonny's actions in the next scene, which are even more idiotic.


"If you love her/need her/want to, got to, have her, child/ Great God in heaven, you gotta get her!"

Fade to Sonny skating down a busy street while ELO's "The Fall" pulses in the background. I actually like this song here—it sets the mood pretty well. And this street looks like any ordinary street, with real people walking along, minding their own business. No freaks with purple or blue spiked hair, or girls in insanely short shorts, or weird spidermen, for a change. Just Sonny, skating down the sidewalk and brooding. Or going over a grocery list in his head, who knows. He passes by an alley, and stops and squints. The camera changes to show what he's looking at and—hey, what do you know? It's the Nine Muses Mural from the beginning of the movie! Who'd have thought he'd come to this mural at this point in time, huh?


It must suck when bums are peeing on your girlfriend.

Sonny skates up to the mural and traces his hands around what's presumably Kira. Oddly, the once realistic painting of Olivia Newton-John now looks just as indistinct as the other women in the mural. So don't ask me how he recognizes her. He skates away a good distance, then turns to stare at the mural. Yep, still there.

He makes as if to leave, then looks back again. The mural says, "Yes, I'm still here. Go away." But there's a close up of his squinting eyes. Uh-oh. I think there's at least one itty-bitty gear starting to turn at the very back of his head...


"There's just one question I gotta ask ya—Do you feel stupid, punk?"

Cut to the mural, focusing on Kira's blurred shape. Then Sonny takes off, skating towards the mural at maximum speed, and at the very last second, he... flies right into it?

This is so wrong, so stupendously wrongity-wrong, I can't think of any decent words to describe it. What kind of crack did Sonny take to come up with "mural + speed skating = gateway to Mount Helicon"? How did he know Kira came out of this very mural? For that matter, how did Sonny recognize that woman on the mural as being Kira in the first place? He's never even seen this mural before! Unless... wait. Was he the one who painted it in the first place? That would make his earlier line, about painting "somebody else's mural" as a freelancer, almost make some kind of... sense. Or something.

But if that's the case, then why didn't he recognize Kira right off the bat? Did he conveniently forget about the mural until now? Did Kira pull some sort of Jedi mind trick on him? And don't tell me it's just a "musical fantasy"—I've seen paint-by-number fantasies that are more believable than this.

Well, you know what? I can make up stuff, too. Here's my theory: Sonny didn't really enter the mural at all. Instead, he flew headfirst into the wall, knocked himself silly, and is now having an out-of-body experience while he bleeds all over the pavement. See? Logical and hilarious! Suck on that, "musical fantasy"!

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