A gang of ten year olds with a leader wearing a big flowered muummuu do not an intimidating nemesis make.

"Who knew you only needed twelve buttons to control an entire person?"

“I’m really annoyed at how this movie is making me question the competence of every single human being in the universe.”

“Right now, I feel like a character in an H.P. Lovecraft story, driven mad, just waiting for the mutant fish people to come for me.”

"William Shatner, whether he's animated or not, never misses out on an opportunity to do a head roll. "

"Just drink up, and it'll all make perfect sense."

Ryan recaps the animated Star Trek episode “The Lorelei Signal”, where the Enterprise responds to a sexy distress call, and Kirk and Spock and McCoy all lose their damn minds over a colony of blondes, who turn out to be lifeforce vampires! Uhura and Chapel are forced to take command and rescue the horny bastards, with the help of the Enterprise’s surprisingly hot womens’ security team. Watch the video below, and learn all about the hidden dangers of Jazzercise headbands and competitive giant ruby tossing!

"The guys who wrote that Hallmark card called. They'd like their crappy poetry back now."

"He's not just outrageous, he's nutrageous!"

"It just wouldn't be a TNG movie without a Data scene that made you wonder why the hell you ever got into Star Trek in the first place."

“I don’t know how, but this film has actually managed to make me hate Tuesdays. And running gags. And Alan Ruck.”

“But you can see why this incident would be so unmemorable to the captain. Nearly getting blasted to bits, abandoning ship, adrift in space for weeks, and ultimately immortalized in the textbooks for a feat of heroism would almost totally pass from anyone’s memory after nine years.”

“It was 1987, and the fourth episode of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, when nobody knew what a Ferengi was or anything of their now-famous tendencies. So join me, won’t you, as we take a trip back to when an aura of mystery surrounded this new rival of the Federation, and see just how long it takes for their mystique to be utterly and forever left in ruins. ”

"Some like it. Not."

"Let it be known that I will be casting the first stone. Directly at Worf's head."

"Yep, a Star Trek episode is going for a lighthearted tone, which can only mean one thing: Deep hurting… deep hurting!"

"Brannon Braga calls this one 'a royal, steaming stinker'. And when the guy who wrote the episode says that, it's pretty hard to disagree."

"If you listen carefully, you'll hear the thud as this episode hits the canvas."

"This episode will not be presented in real time. It'll only feel that way."

"It's pretty sad that the only real nod we've had to space travel thus far has been the use of navigational terms as an aid to sexual harassment."