TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
[Series Title]
[Original Airdate]
Agonizer (Everything Else)
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
[Series Title]
[Original Airdate]
Agonizer (Everything Else)
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Space Mutiny (1988) Movie Recap Page 3 of 7
Posted by Kevin Podsiadlik Posted on: September 17, 2008
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

And now we meet our last main character, MacPhearson, played by small-time martial arts actor James Ryan. Ryan, as we'll soon see, is an unabashed ham. Just by himself, he makes me glad I bought the uncut movie, because a lot of his most enjoyable moments were cut from the MST3k version. And by "enjoyable", I mean, "would be irritating in most other contexts, but actually improves this movie".

MacPhearson is Kalgan's right hand man, and the two of them gloat about all the residual damage their little act of sabotage inflicted. MacPhearson happily (and dramatically!) notes that no one's getting on or off the ship for two weeks as a result.

Kalgan responds with a big speech that reveals his entire motivation.

Kalgan: Excellent. They no longer have a choice! [maniacal laugh] It was cruel fate to be born in space. But I have vowed we will not die here. It is my destiny to set my feet upon a real world, to accumulate wealth and power beyond our wildest dreams! [maniacal laugh] I have offered the people of the Southern Sun a rich, new life. And now, they have no alternative but to accept my generosity, and alter course for Corona Borealis! [maniacal laugh]

Not to belabor the point, but if all he wants is to "set [his] feet upon a real world", along with all the decadent capitalistic benefits that come along with that, what's stopping him? Apart from the fact that he just blew up the exits and they're all trapped aboard for two weeks.

Speaking of which, how does this act of sabotage force the ship to "alter course" for anywhere? That's a rhetorical question, by the way, so you don't have to think of an answer. The movie sure won't.

The article continues after this advertisement...

Meanwhile, Captain Useless and Lt. Lemont discuss the impact of the sabotage. It seems they'll have to reduce speed by two-thirds. Notice they don't talk about "changing course" in any way, direct or implied. Maybe Kalgan's thought is that if they slow down enough, a "real world" will catch up with them, or something. I don't know.

Against a shot of Galac—oh, alright, "the Southern Sun", we hear someone say, "We've been in space too long!" Hey, someone's figured out why everyone on this ship is acting like idiots!

Caption contributed by Kevin
The McLaughlin Group just isn't what it used to be.

Cut to five men seated at a rectangular table, with MacPhearson standing at the head of the table. The guy at MacPhearson's right suggests they land the ship, adding for emphasis that this is something they can actually do. So... if they can land the whole Southern Sun somewhere, there's no reason why they couldn't open up the doors and let off anyone who... oh forget it.

MacPhearson steps in, backing up the guy's assertion that landing the ship is possible. "But," he adds, "this would directly oppose the Law of the Universe, the Law of the Galaxy!" The what and the which now?

Actually, what I think they've come up with here is their own version of the Universal (pardon the expression) Plot Hole Excuse. Consider this unspoken (but implicit) line of dialogue from a marginally better film:

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well, as long as I'm leaving Anakin to die here anyway, I could finish the job and cut off his head, just to make completely sure he can't be miraculously rescued and come back to make trouble for everyone over the course of three more movies. But this would directly oppose the Law of the Universe! The Law of the Galaxy!

Or, the Jedi way. Same thing.

Getting back on track, the First Guy wants to tell the Law of the Galaxy where to stick it, but every party has its pooper. In this case, it's another guy named Engineer Pooper—I mean, Engineer Parsons. He whines that they have to uphold the Law, whereupon James Ryan takes scenery chewing to a whole new level as he notes the dissent.

Parsons, still unhappy, declares, "This is mutiny! This is treason! Which I warn you I must report!"

Now, you might think that's the most colossally stupid thing a person could say under the circumstances, but we're not done yet. MacPhearson, leaning in sideways with such draw that the whole room practically tilts with him, intones to the others:

MacPhearson: Willlll youuuu... allowwww hiiiiiiim... to spoooooooil... your am-bitions for a greater future???

I think you had them at the lean-in, Mac. Shatner's got nothing on you! Other than more money than he can count, and the adoration of millions. But hey, I'm starting to like you. Sort of.

First Guy grabs Parsons, and the whole group drags him onto the table, which promptly collapses. That actually seemed to be planned, because it gives MacPhearson the opportunity to administer the killing blows to Parsons, which come in the form of a couple of (dramatic!) stabs with his cane.

After he's dead, MacPhearson dismisses the group, letting First Guy know he will be "rewarded" for his actions here. By which I think he means, he gets to take the rest of the movie off, because we never see him again. I'm also pretty sure we never see anyone from this scene again, save MacPhearson.

Back to the bridge. David Ryder enters and greets Captain Useless, and shortly thereafter, he also greets Commander Adam-Not. It looks like this is the first time they've met. Wait, if Ryder's never been on the Southern Sun before, then where exactly did he come from? And why don't Kalgan's men just go there?

Captain Useless obtains Ryder's "space status" card, and—oh geez—he sticks it partway into a 5 1/4" floppy drive of a nearby IBM PC. Incidentally, the computer display proceeds to spell Dave's last name as "Rider", even though it's "Ryder" in the credits.

Caption contributed by Kevin
"Now, where's the 'any' key, again?"

The three of them stroll over to Lt. Lemont's desk. Here, they watch a "video" (read: wire graphic representation) of the shuttle crash.

And then it's back over to check on the Bellerians again. They've set themselves up pretty well, considering. They have a bunch of plasma lamps (AKA those electric glass balls they sell at Spencer's Gifts) set up all over the place. Why yes, this was filmed in the '80s! How did you know?

Caption contributed by Kevin
It could be worse. Five years ago, they were dancing around Rubik's Cubes.

The Bellerians are now dancing all around these plasma lamps. Yes, dancing. And if the intercuts are to be believed, the Bellerians are somehow injecting themselves into the dreams of some of the officers. Not that they probably mind, given what we'll soon see passes for entertainment on this ship.

This winds up inspiring one officer to pay the Bellerians a personal visit. Unfortunately, his intentions are quickly scuttled when a man in a white uniform, whom I'll call Admiral Cockblock, steps in and tells the officer that the Bellerians are "off limits".

Back to the bridge, where they're still mulling over the crash. They extol the virtues of the "high-density de-atomizer escape system" that saved Ryder's ass, in a way that darkly hints at a sequel featuring an improved version of it. Unfortunately for the dear departed Professor, there's only one to a ship. Or perhaps fortunately, since it means he never had to appear in this movie.

Lea shows up, and Captain Useless and Adam-Not very properly start chewing her out for her boneheaded actions at the crash site. Lea, all defensive, tries to blame everything on "the pilot". Lea... meet the pilot. Awk-ward!

Or at least it would be, for someone who has some semblance of tact, which Lea does not. After Lea basically takes offense at the fact the Ryder is still alive, Ryder stands up for himself in this exchange:

Ryder: Listen, lady...
Lea: [interrupting] Doctor!
Ryder: [unfazed] Doctor...


...I have no words. Apart from my earlier reference to the B Ark. It's the only way to explain how the standards for getting a doctorate could have sunk this low. And that's not even getting into how massively pretentious it is for someone with a doctorate to expect total strangers to automatically address them by title.

But this scene at least has a satisfying ending. Ryder reiterates the facts, and when they finally start to sink in with Lea, he storms off, leaving Lea with no sympathy from anyone.

Over on the Enforcer's Bridge, Kalgan is making eyes with a woman whom I shall call Nameless Floozy. Another woman interrupts to hand him a report, which is apparently an inventory of all the explosives under his control.

Cut suddenly to the catwalks above the factory floor, where another wiry engineer—this time, the bespectacled and mulleted Engineer Steve Codell—is walking anxiously. He's holding some kind of report, which I guess is a copy of the same report from the last scene. Surreptitiously, he picks up a phone (a phone? On a spaceship?) and asks for a connection to the bridge. Unluckily for him, Kalgan's bodyguard is monitoring for just this kind of activity, and he immediately alerts his boss.

Caption contributed by Kevin
A young Janet Reno in a surprise cameo.

Codell proceeds to have a rather strange conversation with his contact on the bridge, who just so happens to be Lt. Lemont. Why is this conversation so strange? Well, for starters, Lt. Lemont carefully enunciates her name and title, for the benefit of anyone who might be listening in. Also, we see her face on a monitor, except there's no monitor anywhere in Codell's vicinity.

Furthermore, Codell's first words sound like they're from the middle of a conversation. When I saw this on MST3k, I suspected this was one of the cuts they made, and that the first part of the conversation was edited out. Alas, the actual movie is like this.

As Kalgan and Company listen in, Codell blabs about all the detective work he did, trying to discover the identity of whoever misappropriated a large amount of explosives. Of course, he neglects to say the name of that person. Given that, I'll bet you can pretty easily guess what's in store for our engineer friend.

Lt. Lemont instructs Codell to report to the bridge in person with his findings, and again carefully pronounces her name, just to make sure everyone got it.

Engineer Codell continues along the catwalk when, surprise! He encounters a couple of armed Masked Goons, which are this movie's equivalent of Stormtroopers. Codell attempts to flee, but eventually runs smack into a maniacal laugh. Sure enough, the laughter is followed shortly by the appearance of Elijah Kalgan.

With Codell cornered, Kalgan is quite magnanimous, offering him the opportunity to come over to Kalgan's side. Or, alternatively, Codell can go into something called "the deep freeze", which we'll learn more about later. But the issue becomes moot when Codell picks option (c): jump to his death.

This suits Kalgan just fine, and he even ups his prickishness quotient by giving Codell a helpful shove over the catwalk rail. Cut to Codell hitting the floor, just as the actor bites a blood capsule. It's actually fairly effective, but not for long, because after a brief cutaway to Kalgan (for another maniacal laugh, naturally), they cut back to Codell, and his glasses are now suddenly back on his face.

Latest Comments

Popular Right Now

Posted May 23, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted May 19, 2016 by Rob Kirchgassner
Posted May 16, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted May 18, 2016 by Steven Birkner
Posted May 9, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted Apr 27, 2016 by Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Posted Apr 19, 2016 by Rob Kirchgassner
Posted May 21, 2016 by Thomas Stockel
Posted May 16, 2016 by Joey Tedesco
Posted May 23, 2016 by Cecil Trachenburg
Posted Apr 18, 2016 by Unusual Suspect
Posted May 16, 2016 by Sursum Ursa
Posted Apr 26, 2016 by Joey Tedesco
Posted Apr 26, 2016 by Thomas Stockel
Posted Apr 5, 2016 by Thomas Ricard
About the Site:
Text Archives:
Video Archives:
Other Content:
Series Pages:
Feeds (RSS):
Our Patrons:
Video Shows:
Support the Site:
On Other Sites:
Top #tags:

All articles posted to the agony booth are the sole property of the author(s). Please do not copy/reproduce entire articles without permission. Screencaps from movies and TV shows are used for non-profit, fair use purposes of parody and commentary. Star Trek and all related images and trademarks are the property of CBS Studios, Inc.

Reviewer icon artwork provided by Tai Porto, Aaron “McKnackus” Rivera, and Magdalen O’Reilly.