Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
The Bunny Perspective!
Hosted by: Phil Buni
Media reviews and analysis by a pot smoking, puppet bunny. Do you like weird-but-great underground films? Hate Glee, Gigli, and other Hollywood garbage? The Bunny Perspective offers a blend of humorously angry negative reviews, and honest praise of underground movies and TV. We talk about films, TV, anime, and animation. We are the Cult of the Bunny, and you too can be a Cultist. #CultoftheBunny
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Cheap-Arse Film Review
Hosted by: Liam Barrett
It's the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it's possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that's only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The DVD Shelf
Hosted by: David Rose
Life is short, so skip the bad movies and let your host David Rose reveal, review, and recommend the ones you should have on your own DVD shelf. The DVD Shelf is a film-lover's safe haven to bask in the warm glow of cult favorites, over-looked cinematic gems, rediscovered classics, and downright fun flicks on both DVD and Blu-ray.
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Solkir
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
Joshua the Anarchist
Hosted by: Joshua Bell
Charged with the crime of liking Batman & Robin, Joshua the Anarchist has been declared insane and committed to Arkham Asylum. Locked away in a padded cell, he'll endure movie after movie as doctors attempt to "treat" him. He may not have gone in a madman, but he soon will be.
Minority Report Reviews
Hosted by: Tom Marriott
Minority Report Reviews is where often slated or just plain forgotten films and TV shows come for an ego boost. Focusing primarily on unloved sequels, your host Tom Marriott takes questions from the general public to showcase the positives in these films. Love it or hate it, this is the show where you can have your say and see a guilty pleasure defended by the host with the most... strange tastes.
Movie Dorkness
Hosted by: Sofie Liv
It's the show formerly known as Red Suitcase Adventues! Join Sofie Liv, a nice Dane (who may not be as negative as everyone else!) as she dissects pop culture phenomena to explore both the good and bad in popular films.
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Mystery Madness
Hosted by: Full of Questions
Mysteries are awesome! And who's better suited to examine the wonderful, the terrible, and the adequate of the movie mystery genre than a teenager with nerdy glasses and substandard editing software? ...Many people, probably, but enjoy the show anyway!
PGSM Summaries
Hosted by: Nycea
Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (PGSM for short) is a hilarious live-action retelling of the Sailor Moon story. On this show, your host Nycea summarizes and riffs on this gloriously bad series—one episode at a time.
The Porn Critic
Hosted by: Porn Critic
Comedy reviews of the worst and most bizarre adult films available, by a character called the Porn Critic, who tends to focus on the acting bits rather than the actual sex! Who knew continuity errors and bad dialogue could lead to chronic flaccidity?
Reel vs. Reel
Hosted by: Animated Heroine
Animation isn't just for kids; it's also for adults who never learned how to grow up. In Reel vs. Reel, the Animated Heroine looks at two similar animated films to see which one comes out on top and why. Her love for good animated films is only matched by her cynicism towards the bad ones.
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
the agony booth
Ghost (1990) Movie Recap Page 7 of 8
Posted by Jessica Ritchey Posted on: December 17, 2006
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

The next day, Whoopi and Patrick hurry towards his bank. Whoopi can barely be heard over her hot pink jacket with padded shoulders and black appliqué on the front, and her big pink hat with black and pink feathers, and a pair of earrings I just covet. (I love big gaudy earrings, and these look like they've been fashioned out of hand towel holders from a South Beach nightclub.)

Patrick keeps chattering instructions to her, explaining how she needs to pretend to be Rita Miller. They head inside, and Patrick directs her upstairs to the New Accounts department. A banker, only mildly perturbed by Whoopi's constant whispering to an unseen companion, hands over a card for her to sign. Whoopi begins to sign her real name, and Patrick panics. Crumpling up the card, Whoopi hams it up and says she accidentally signed the wrong name. And again, all the banker does is raise her eyebrows and hand over another card. Wow, I simply cannot figure out how this bank got taken for millions of dollars by a money laundering scheme.

Whoopi then declares she's headed up to the third floor to make a "transfusion", ha ha. She again sticks a rusty fork in the audience by making a big to-do about wanting to keep the pen. And throughout all of this, the banker just keeps working her Eyebrows of Plum-Flummoxed. You will be greatly shocked to learn that the banker is played by Charlotte Zucker, the director's mother.

The article continues after this advertisement...

Cut to Whoopi and Patrick heading up in the elevator. He tries to get her to lose the hat, but she says if he keeps it up, he'll be doing this on his own. At Patrick's prompting, she approaches a security guard to say she's here to see Lyle Ferguson. Of course, she adds a generous helping of Whoopi Sass to this request, prompting Patrick to warn her against embellishing.

Patrick explains that Lyle Ferguson is a "social moron". And Patrick knows from morons. He says all she has to do is to pretend she was at some Christmas party last year. Apparently, Ferguson was so drunk "he could have had a conversation with Tina Turner and he wouldn't remember." And you know that nothing is more memorable than a conversation with my girl Tina.

Whoopi makes her way over to Ferguson's desk. She casually drops his kids' names, which Patrick feeds her. He looks confused at first, most likely dazed by her hot pink ensemble, but he plays along anyway.


"That's one! One undead cracker needing my help! Ah ha ha!"

 

She says she's here to close an account. He brings it up on his computer screen and his eyes widen. He tells her the account holds four million dollars. In turn, Whoopi bugs out her eyes and yells, "Four million dollars?!" You'd think it would have occurred to Patrick to tell her the amount before this, so she could maintain her cool. But as this picture continues to demonstrate, foresight isn't his strong suit.

Ferguson asks her how she wants the money, and Whoopi seriously answers, "Tens and twenties?" Oh, for crying out loud. Did they plan any of this out ahead of time? Patrick finally connects with the audience, expressing his exasperation at her antics. He tells her to get it in a cashier's check, and get out of here.

Ferguson says he needs to check her identification, just as a formality. And in a stroke of originality, she can't find it. And so we reap a bushel of freshly picked hijinks as she empties out the contents of her sizable purse onto the desk. And among the contents of Whoopi's purse are: a prescription bottle, a tape measure, a padlock, a Selectric typewriter ball, a single playing card [?] (the King of Spades, to be precise), and a screw. At long last, she finds her fake ID.

It's now ten till 4, and up in the office, Carl is eyeing the clock, waiting for zero hour to transfer the money. Why Patrick and Whoopi couldn't have gone in earlier, like around noon or something, to close the account, well, that's anyone's guess. Oh, right. It's to generate suspense. You might want to practice that first, Movie.

Just as Whoopi receives the check, Demi exits the elevator on a gust of contrivance. Apparently, she just happens to be at the bank at the same time on some business of her own. She spots Whoopi and begins to walk towards her, but Patrick sprints forward and uses his Zen power to knock papers off a desk.

Demi stops to help pick them up. At the same time, the Whoopi Goldberg Comedy Hour is sadly coming to a close, because Patrick pulls her away from Ferguson just as she's telling a no doubt side-splitting story about how all this money came from her "momma" investing in oil wells and "gas pumps".

Patrick hustles Whoopi into to the elevator. In another burst of farm-fresh originality, Demi runs to the elevator, but only makes it there in time to see the doors close. And hey, they're all the way up on the third floor, too. It's not like she could run down three whole flights of stairs to catch up with her, or anything. Demi goes up to Lyle Ferguson and asks who that was, and he freely offers up that it was "Rita Miller".

Back at the office, Carl attempts to kick off the money transfer. Only, it seems the money's all gone, and Carl has paid the wages of sin. The wages of sin... for murder! (Sorry. I need some way to stay awake until the end of this recap.)

The Torrential Sweat of Unspeakable Guilt glazes him to a high sheen. He nervously asks aloud, "Is somebody playing with the computers?" Oh, yes. Office workers, after getting bored with their fifth go-round of Minesweeper, often decide the next best thing is fooling around with multimillion dollar accounts. Got me fired from my last job, actually. Why do they have to make such a big damn deal out of everything, anyway?

Oh, and Carl? Way to call attention to yourself during an attempted felony.


"Dammit, Oregon Trail is hard!"

 

Back on the street, Whoopi is giddy, and can't stop talking about all the things she's going to do with the four million dollars. Conveniently enough, they pass a table where two nuns are taking donations for a homeless shelter. Patrick stops her and says she has to give the money away. She balks, and then balks even further when she sees who he wants to give the money to.

He tells her it's blood money, and he was killed for it. He then makes the more persuasive argument that she's not safe if she keeps it, because "they" (presumably, the unseen Italian Mob drug dealer guys) will track her down.

And so, she dutifully signs the check over to the nuns. That's right. She just casually endorses a check for four million dollars over to some nuns on a street corner. And as if that weren't stupid enough, there's a moment of pure "comedic" nirvana where she refuses to let go of the check, and the nun has to wrestle it out of her hands. Oh, but the real comedic cherry on top happens when the nun reads the amount on the check and promptly faints. And you will be greatly shocked to learn that the nun is played by Sondra Rubin, the screenwriter's mother. It seems giving birth to a Hollywood player is great work, if you can get it.

Latest Comments

Popular Right Now

Posted Dec 19, 2014 by Joshua Bell
 
Posted Dec 17, 2014 by Joshua Bell
 
Posted Dec 16, 2014 by Ivan K
 
Posted Dec 16, 2014 by Fear Fan
 
Posted Dec 4, 2014 by Staff Writer
 
 
 
Posted Dec 12, 2014 by Staff Writer
 
 
Posted Dec 1, 2014 by Dr. Winston O'Boogie
 
Posted Dec 8, 2014 by Chelsey McQuitty
 
Posted Nov 22, 2014 by Dr. Winston O'Boogie
 
Posted Dec 11, 2014 by Rob Kirchgassner
 
Posted Dec 17, 2014 by Sursum Ursa
 
Posted Dec 2, 2014 by Cecil Trachenburg
 
Posted Dec 4, 2014 by Sofie Liv
 
Sitemap
About the Site:
Archives:
Other Content:
Series Pages:
Feeds (RSS):
Video Shows:
Support the Site:
On Other Sites:
Top #tags:
Our Partners:

All articles posted to the agony booth are the sole property of the author(s). Please do not copy/reproduce entire articles without permission. Screencaps from movies and TV shows are used for non-profit, fair use purposes of parody and commentary. Star Trek and all related images and trademarks are the property of CBS Studios, Inc.

Reviewer icon artwork provided by Tai Porto, Aaron “McKnackus” Rivera, and Magdalen O’Reilly.