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TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
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the agony booth
Batman & Robin (1997) Movie Recap Page 7 of 13
Posted by Dr. Winston O'Boogie Posted on: November 12, 2002
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Back at the Batcave, an undamaged Batmobile is rising up on the Bat Hydraulic Pedestal. If this is the same Batmobile we just saw a second ago, why doesn't it look all banged up? And if it's not the same one, how the hell many does Batman have? Either way, Robin runs up to the car and they have it out about how Batman disabled his motorcycle.

Robin mentions how when he was in "the Flying Graysons", they were truly a team and trusted each other. Batman argues that Robin was too distracted by Poison Ivy to do his job, but Robin barks back that "You just can't stand that maybe she wanted me instead of you!"

He criticizes Batman, saying it's always "your way or the highway! It's Batman and Robin, not Robin and Batman!" Yes, and it was also never Ebert and Siskel, but what's your point? Batman says that as long as Robin's living in his Batcave, he's got to follow his Bat Rules. Robin gets pissy, saying "This is no partnership!" as he storms off.

The article continues after this advertisement...

We cut to Alfred putting together an audio recording that will be his letter to his brother Wilfred. Naturally, we see some kind of nonsensical 3-D waveform on his computer screen that undulates as Alfred speaks. He finishes, then pulls out a CD [!] and locks it in a metal case. You mean, he's corresponding with his brother who's in a traveling court in India and riding on top of elephants, and he's burning a CD to send to him? Don't they have pen and paper in Comic Book World?

Bruce enters and Alfred happily tells him that "Batman monopolized the evening news!" Considering yesterday's top story was the donation of a diamond, this isn't all that surprising. Bruce, however, barely hears this because he's got something else on his mind. He asks, "Is it always my way or the highway?"

Alfred says, "Yes, actually!" but calls it quite reasonable. He explains that because fate took away his parents, Bruce has done everything in his power to control the fates. Alfred then gives the best speech in the movie when he says, "For what is Batman, if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world? An attempt to control death itself?" Well, you'll just have to trust me, this is the best speech in the movie. All told, it seems like they were going for some kind of tribute to Michael Gough here, since they've given him all the good lines. By which I mean, all the lines that aren't puns.

Bruce then looks out a dark window as a daytime view of a gravestone materializes. We see a young Bruce and Alfred standing over it, and Little Bruce places some flowers on the grave. Ah, yes. Another wonderful, memorable event in the childhood of Bruce Wayne. He seriously must have had no life when he was a kid if this is the kind of stuff he remembers. Also, this means that Bruce's parents are buried right outside the mansion. This isn't unheard of, but it's still pretty damn creepy. No wonder he's still single. Anyway, Alfred's speech and Bruce's LSD flashback cause Bruce to come to the realization that he can't really control death.

Cut to Barbara sneaking into the Wayne Garage while silently rolling in a motorcycle. This time, Dick catches her, but in the darkness, she doesn't realize who it is and judo flips him to the ground. Tough Girl rules! She quickly apologizes, explaining that she learned judo at "Oxbridge" because "London's kind of rough!" Dick asks about the motorcycle, but she pretends she just took it out for a spin and quickly runs off.

Caption contributed by Albert
Either that's dirt and bruises on her face, or Silverstone just pigged out on Ho-Hos right before the take.

We then see the sign for Arkham Asylum, which naturally is suddenly lit up by lightning. I have this feeling that it's always raining here, and there's just one storm cloud hanging above the asylum that never moves. As we cut to a wide shot, sure enough, there's a rainstorm in the background as we close in on the castle-like asylum.

Inside, several of the asylum guards are marching Mr. Freeze through a corridor. Or, I should say, they're wheeling him through a corridor, because he currently happens to be inside of a refrigerator [!]. Hey, at least this will keep him at "zero degrees", right?

The guards bring the fridge into a cell, and an oddly familiar gravelly voice yells at them to "Drag him into the cold beam!" The "cold beam" turns out to be a blue light shining down from the ceiling to illuminate some water vapor mist. As a guard opens the fridge door, we see the gravelly voice belongs to future Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura [!!]. Jesse calls Freeze "Frost-Face", which I think is what he also called Hubert Humphrey III during their first debate. The other guard tells Freeze that "You're the common cold, and we're the cure!" Which doesn't make sense, but at least it contained a play on the word "cold".

Freeze, in yet another ancient movie cliché, is dressed in black and white striped prison clothes [!]. He says, "Allow me to break the ice." Yuk yuk. He tells the guards his name, and addressing the camera, instructs them to "Learn it well... For it's the chilling sound of your doom!" Or, rather, in Arnie-Speak: "Fuh itz deh chillen sown of yeh DOOOM!"

Suddenly, he butts the guard's heads together and tries to run off, but as soon as he gets out of the "cold beam", he collapses in pain. Jesse Ventura calls him "Freezie" and explains that he has to stay inside "the cold zone". Freeze desperately crawls back into the beam while Ventura tells the other guard to "look at him stew!" Huh?

Caption contributed by Albert
William "Refrigerator" Perry finally pays his debt to society.

Next, we find Poison Ivy and Bane strolling through the streets of Gotham as they happen upon a condemned building. We know it's condemned because someone has written "Condemned" on the front in day-glo spray paint. Ivy notes the building once held Turkish baths [?] and says, "This looks promising!" Actually, this is fitting, since watching this movie feels like being locked in a Turkish prison.

Inside, there are some random thugs all wearing hooded black jumpsuits, with their faces all made up to look like neon day-glo skulls. They engage in random skullduggery (Hah!) which involves smacking each other around, and drinking a bottle of something that glows blue. All the fun screeches to a halt, however, when they hear Bane breaking in.

Ivy surveys the place, calling it a "fixer-upper", but then notes the Day-Glo Skulls and says, "A minus. Current tenants!" One Day-Glo Skull calls Ivy his "little pretty pretty pretty" and says she looks "good enough to eat!" (Just between you and me, I think Akiva Goldsman was having a much tougher time coming up with plant puns than ice puns.) Ivy challenges them to "Come and get me!" as she pushes the NBA Jam Turbo Button on Bane's chest.

They all swing day-glo green chains at Bane, but he steps on a single wooden plank which somehow sends them all flying through the air [?]. And I kid you not, this event is actually accompanied by a Loony Tunes slide whistle sound effect [!]. Now, if only we could get the "wahh wahh wahhhh" trombone from Tom and Jerry we'd be all set.

Anyway, all the Day-Glo Skulls run off, never to be seen or heard from again in this movie. Who were these guys? Why the day-glo color scheme? Couldn't they have just put some normal bums in here? Oh, right. Comic Book Movie.

Once they're gone, Ivy announces that she's going to "redecorate", and we spend several minutes pointlessly watching them do that. Finally, she tells Bane to put his Paul Stanley-style seven-inch heel through the floor to expose some dirt.

Caption contributed by Albert
"You really like my limousine / You like the way the wheels roll..."

Crouching down, Ivy says that "It took God seven days to create Paradise!" In which version of the Bible does it say that? She opens up her hand, revealing a handful of glittering "seeds" that look like foil-wrapped chocolate almonds. "Let's see if I can do better!" She drops the chocolate almonds into the dirt, and we watch as a whole host of CGI vines instantly sprout and grow several feet high.

Then she chats up Bane, telling him all about Freeze, who according to her is a "cool customer" with an "icy demeanor". She inexplicably calls Bane "honey" and tells him to "clean up this mess. We've got company coming!" Bane growls, "Honeyyyy. Companyyy." After viewing this film, you too will begin thinking and speaking like Bane.

We next find Bruce at Wayne Manor having dinner with Julie Madison (unfortunately, still played by Elle Macpherson, whose Australian accent is now leaking out all over the place), and she wants to talk about relationship stuff. Apparently, they've been together a year, and she's decided she wants to marry Bruce. When she tells him this, Bruce shows no hint of a reaction on his face, and after a moment only replies that he's "not the marrying kind". I mean, check out the graves of his parents right outside the bedroom window if you want proof of that.

He indirectly refers to all the stuff in his life that she doesn't know about, but she responds that she understands he's had his "wild nights". Bruce chuckles. "'Wild' doesn't quite cover it." No, stupid, tedious, and overblown are pretty much the words I would have chosen.

Julie says she "can't wait forever", and as she's talking, Bruce starts to zone out and daydream that Poison Ivy is there instead. Just like a man, huh? Then we cut to an extremely bored Julie asking who "Ivy" is. Apparently, Bruce just called her "Ivy" somewhere in there, but we didn't get to see it. When she demands to know who this Ivy chick is, all he says is, "I wish I knew." That's the way to comfort a gal, Bruce.

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