TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
[Series Title]
[Original Airdate]
Agonizer (Everything Else)
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
[Series Title]
[Original Airdate]
Agonizer (Everything Else)
Sort By:
[Popular Now]
[Date Posted]
Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Armageddon (1998) Movie Recap Page 7 of 13
Posted by Team Agony Booth Posted on: November 25, 2003
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Well, it's time for another sequence where some Dramamine would be handy. There are tons of quick cuts of various stuff happening at "Kennedy Space Center, Florida", according to the ever-helpful caption. Of course, we didn't really need that, since Truman just said they were all going to Florida, but let's move on.

Voicing over this scene are several news reporters all talking about the dire situation that the planet is in. Of course, Michael Bay can't just leave things at that, so we only get to hear a couple seconds of each news broadcast, with a few even being cut off in mid-sentence. Also, for some reason, CNN is the only network name-dropped here. The last of these newscasts states that "there could be a very serious problem." I guess they're a little behind.

The article continues after this advertisement...

Truman's voiceover gives us a little recap of the situation, then we cut to the launch pad, where yet another caption informs us that there's twelve hours until the launch. There's a close up of the big clock, which was apparently lugged all the way here from Mission Control, but the harsh angle it's filmed at makes reading the numbers almost impossible.

Wait, how am I supposed to solve for T if you don’t give me the rest of the equation!?


Somewhere far away, Harry meets up with Grace in some kind of hollowed-out rotunda that looks straight out of Myst. They have a little healing conversation where Grace says she doesn't blame Harry for anything, not even for her mother leaving. Of course, this is the first we've heard of her mother leaving, and it's never mentioned again. And I know it's a cheap shot, but damn, Liv Tyler is terrible in this movie. We know from The Lord of the Rings that she can act, but here it seems like she just decided not to waste her energy.

Right in the middle of the conversation, there's a completely unwarranted close-up of a plaque dedicated to the crew of Apollo I. It includes the Latin phrase "Ad astra per aspera" (meaning "a rough road leads to the stars", or translated literally, "to the heavens through adversity"), which also happens to be the motto of my old high school. Okay, now it's personal!

We learn that the President plans to give a speech, and then there's several somber slow-motion shots of everyone getting into their monogrammed orange space suits. Once whatever emotional value this holds (i.e., not much) has been milked for all it's worth, the mood is completely destroyed.

As if the Animal Cracker Bit wasn't bad enough, when AJ and Grace say their goodbyes, AJ launches into a rendition of "Leaving on a Jet Plane". Soon Bear and then Rockhound and then Max all join in, which the NASA guys predictably aren't too happy about. Nor is John Denver, wherever he is.

"...And number three, Brian Smith as technician! This is your NASA starting line up!"


Immediately, the mood turns back to somber as we get more slow-motion shots of the boys getting into the shuttles, while the President gives a speech that's pretty much a low-rent version of the one from Independence Day. He says, "The Bible calls this day Armageddon. The end of all things." Because Christianity is the only religion that really matters, right?

We get shots of people all around the world listening to the broadcast, and it appears this movie has just pulled a Superman IV, because it's late afternoon everywhere on the planet.

Chick's son sees the broadcast and tells his mother that the "salesman" is on TV. Apparently, the fact that he's trying to stop the asteroid makes Ex-Wifey completely forgive him for whatever caused them to get divorced in the first place. She tells the kid that it's really his father. Well, that was just a big plot cul-de-sac, wasn't it?

It's like a bad Mentos commercial. Oh, wait. All Mentos commercials are bad, aren't they?


As the guys get in the shuttles, we're reminded that, rather wisely, Harry and AJ are being kept apart until they get to the asteroid. Rockhound makes a couple more lame quips, as this is his sole lot in life, while Oscar rambles on and on about how intense the whole thing is.

Here tediousness is defined for a whole new generation, as we get to watch two shuttles taking off for three solid minutes. The shuttles blast off, roll around, and discharge their stages, all to swelling patriotic music. Yep, just slap the flag all over something and people will fall all over themselves praising it. Is that how things work, Mr. Bay?

Latest Comments

Popular Right Now

Posted May 23, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted May 19, 2016 by Rob Kirchgassner
Posted May 16, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted May 18, 2016 by Steven Birkner
Posted May 9, 2016 by Jonathan Campbell
Posted Apr 27, 2016 by Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Posted May 21, 2016 by Thomas Stockel
Posted Apr 19, 2016 by Rob Kirchgassner
Posted May 16, 2016 by Joey Tedesco
Posted May 23, 2016 by Cecil Trachenburg
Posted May 16, 2016 by Sursum Ursa
Posted Apr 18, 2016 by Unusual Suspect
Posted Apr 26, 2016 by Joey Tedesco
Posted Apr 26, 2016 by Thomas Stockel
Posted Apr 5, 2016 by Thomas Ricard
About the Site:
Text Archives:
Video Archives:
Other Content:
Series Pages:
Feeds (RSS):
Our Patrons:
Video Shows:
Support the Site:
On Other Sites:
Top #tags:

All articles posted to the agony booth are the sole property of the author(s). Please do not copy/reproduce entire articles without permission. Screencaps from movies and TV shows are used for non-profit, fair use purposes of parody and commentary. Star Trek and all related images and trademarks are the property of CBS Studios, Inc.

Reviewer icon artwork provided by Tai Porto, Aaron “McKnackus” Rivera, and Magdalen O’Reilly.