Quantico: Oh Deer! (S1 E14 Recap)

quantico-logo2It looks like Quantico is heading in a whole new direction. For the first time ever, we don’t start in the gym or on the track! The recruits are teamed up and driving around in fast cars wearing jumpsuits and helmets. Isn’t that exciting? Not so much, because as usual they do this while talking about the plot. There’s a lot of jumping around, and there’s rock and roll on the soundtrack to remind us that they don’t mess around, but this week nobody even dies.

Somehow even with the cinch-waist your mom will remember junior high gym class.

Somehow even with the cinch-waist your mom will remember junior high gym class.

Driving is just a teaser challenge. The main challenge involves the NATs interrogating actors who are playing real-life suspects the FBI couldn’t build a case around. The fun part is the actors all look like regular people and the recruits all look like actors. Are they getting scale? Once again we can only wonder about the bizillions in taxpayer money being wasted on this training. The NATs are working in teams of course because the real lesson is about “having each other’s backs” which in some form is the point of all the lessons. All this is to show off the simmering tension between various recruits and trainers.

Speaking of which:

Aspy Genius confronts Caleb with the Mark Raymond phone! Caleb threatens Aspy by standing too close to him and telling him not to screw this up for him, which apparently is enough to get Aspy not to report it, but not enough for him to continue making like Harriet the spy and following him around. Caleb gets to take off his shirt, offering us this week’s beefcake but it was hard to get a screenshot. (We think they do this on purpose.) So here’s a random shot of Caleb not quite dressed because it’s something that happens every week. Hubba-hubba:

quantico caleb

So what’s Caleb doing? It looks like Caleb may be stealing Shelby’s five million, or is he? In the end he’s meeting with Shelby’s fake sister and she’s giving the money back to him with a promise that he has to do whatever it is he agreed to do that we don’t know about yet, which is another thing this show does all the time: tease us with bits of a conversation leaving out the important stuff.

Start Up Queen and Shelby fight. Then they make up (but not to the extent many fans might have been hoping) and then they bond when Shelby tells her about her faux-sister, and she tells Shelby about her aunt who may or may not have gone to prison or be dead in China, but apparently nobody in her family ever bothered to find out because that would have ruined their memories of her.

Nimah pretends to be Raina and goes to some house where weapons are being collected. Then she confronts her sister whom she is totally ready to believe is a terrorist. Raina tells her she’s working for Miranda to find out more about Charley’s kidnappers, but Nimah thinks she might be lying to Miranda and is presumably going to tell someone or blow the operation or do some other stupid thing. Also, now that Vasquez is gone, Raina seems to be spending a lot of time with Brandon who still hasn’t developed a personality.

Alex decides to help Buzz Football out by seeing what she can find out from Liam about that thing in Chicago that blew up and may or may not be related to the death of Football’s fiancee. Poor Liam, the schmuck, thinks Alex is there to talk about New Year’s. Alex claims she wants to know because she’s interested in knowing about him, so he bites. What happened was the FBI sold a bunch of AR15s to some white supremacists, but then they had to raid them too early, and they got away with the guns. It was Liam’s idea to sell them the weapons, but Ryan took the blame because Liam would have gotten fired, so you’d think Liam might have been a little nicer to Ryan, but if we didn’t already realize it, he’s kind of an asshole.

Alex who has trouble putting two and two together tells Football that it’s all good because nobody was hurt in the raid on the white supremacists, so that had nothing to do with his fiancee’s death, only of course it did because what Alex doesn’t realize – and Football immediately does – is that the bad guys sold the AR15s to other bad guys, and that’s how she wound up getting killed during a shootout with the police. Football brings this up in front of the entire class (or what’s left of it) while mock-testifying with Liam questioning him. This is very embarrassing for Liam who then tells Football he’s a crusader and the FBI doesn’t need any crusader’s so he’s banished from the Academy forever. That doesn’t give him any reason to seek vengeance, does it?

Then Alex comes in to yell at Liam and tell him he’s the problem, and he tells her that she just wants him to be the bad guy to let her off the hook for sleeping with him. And if you don’t think that makes much sense, you are not alone, but he had to say out loud that they had slept together so that Miranda could overhear it or read his lips from her office across the hall. Miranda tells Liam to hand in his resignation because sexing up the recruits is a bad choice she won’t condone. But we know that Liam doesn’t get fired, so what was that even about?

And now let us move on to the present:

Simon is now living in a cabin in Vermont, which looks more like Siberia or maybe Montana. There’s no electricity, and apparently no plumbing or heat either. Plus Tate Ellington is now speaking in a southern accent which turns Simon’s remark about growing up in Scarsdale into a punchline.

quantico s1 e14 simon

So far from Scarsdale, so near to Canada.

Alex stops by to explain where everybody is since the last bombing: Raina moved back to Michigan. Nobody’s heard from Caleb for months. (Our first sign he isn’t dead.) Shelby’s back at her corporation. Simon mentions losing his job at the tech company where he was spying and at the FBI. Plus he has to go shoot a deer for dinner – which given that that means he’d have to find a deer, kill it, dress it, and cook it means he won’t be eating for a while, unless he’s so far gone he just plans to dig in and grab it’s still beating warm heart.

Alex insists on coming with because she used to hunt too.

Over at the FBI field office, Ryan and Nimah trace Alex’s phone and decide to drop by to see what she’s up to because it’s not like they have much actual work to do. Also, they think Vasquez took an emergency leave of absence, and Nimah ratted out her sister’s relationship with their mark to the FBI, which got Raina fired and made Miranda really mad at her.

Simon is about to shoot a deer, which is kind of the idea of “hunting” but Alex tells him he doesn’t have to pull the trigger. He misses. But he never misses! This leads to his talking about how she told him it was safe to let go of the trigger, but he did and then the second bomb went off, and now he tries to kill himself every day. Alex tells him about Vasquez and the terrorists on the phone, which means Elias really wasn’t the mastermind. This makes Simon decide that killing Alex would solve all his problems, and that might have been suspenseful if we thought for a minute that Alex wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it. She tries to recruit him to help her “exploit” the weakness of the voice on the phone.

Nimah and Ryan must have used their FBI driving skills to drive up to Vermont super fast because it’s still light out when they get to the cabin. Alex isn’t dead but she tells them that Ryan is not the man they once knew. Which man was that? The coffee loving gay accountant or the Israeli war criminal?

Nimah drives Alex home in her car. Ryan drives his truck. This gives Nimah a chance to tell Alex that she’s not alone because Ryan always cared about her, and tough girl Alex cries. That night she calls him because she wants his voice to be the last one she hears that night, but she also says something about “remembering everything” and there was something just a little off about the way she said it, that makes your humble recapper think we’ll soon be getting clues (which may or may not lead anywhere) that Ryan may or may not be guilty of something, and that Alex (per her last conversation with Vasquez) may or may not suspect him.

Simon sets his cabin on fire, but doesn’t set himself on fire. He shows up at Alex’s apartment, rested, ready and no longer insane. So remember folks: Arson cures insanity and depression. When the terror-phone rings, he tells her to answer it. He has a plan, which involves sticking a little techie-doodad into the phone.

So who do we think done it now? Your guess is as good as mine! But feel free to speculate in the comments below.

Marion Stein

Marion writes television recaps and reviews for the Agony Booth, and books you can find over at Amazon.

TV Show: Quantico

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