VIDEO: Perverted Stories #34 (2002) AKA “Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoids”

Mendo joins the ranks of fellow reviewers who’ve reviewed short porno films, but unlike Anal Dwarf or Chirpy, this one is less erotic and more just… silly!

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  • MichaelANovelli

    I wonder, do you suppose this might be where “Rule 34” comes from?

  • Muthsarah

    Well, ya sure knows how ta put me in my place, Internetz-wise. Ain’t never even hearda this.

    And….seriously…Pterodactyls were WAY too small to be accurately represented by humans in “flying dinosaur” suits. They were the size of turkeys, at the most. Pteranodons, maybe, but they’d actually be far too BIG to be so portrayed. Ditto Quetzalcoatls (the Magnums of the sauro-porn world). I doubt the scientific accuracy of this “sauropod”-human porno. I’d think, in these 21st centuries, to be holding our artistic creators to higher standards. But, to LAYMEN such as yourself, I guess ALL flying dinosaurs are “Pterodactyls”, all terrestrial herbivors are “Brontosauruses”, and all terrestrial carnivors are “Tyrannosauruses”. Oh, how gauche!

    As for why pteranodons of any ilk would wanna have sex with women…well, as even a cursory glance at ANY science-fiction would make evident, human beings are the sexiest pieces of ass among any species, in any galaxy, ever. Jabba the Hutt, Ming the Merciless, prolly tons of other beings that I would totally know about were I to do any research. Must it really be pointed out?

    • MichaelANovelli

      Heheheheheh, “Magnum”!

      • Muthsarah

        Look ’em up. Those flying reptiles’ cloacae were hung.

        • MichaelANovelli

          I just might. I’m curious how *you* stumbled onto that fact, though. 😉

          • Muthsarah

            I…..just….went though a dinosaur phase……WAIT!…..I didn’t mean that…..I just supposed. Totally. Based on…..science. They were huge. Don’t gotta read anything dirty into that……Really…..Gah!

          • Jay_Bay

            someone bring out the Takei.

          • MichaelANovelli
          • danbreunig

            I’m having more fun with this conversation than the video! So much to learn…

          • MichaelANovelli

            Life’s funny, that way.

          • danbreunig

            Indeed, my good man. Also on this Memorial Day I just want to thank you for your service. And for the Rattus too.

          • John Wilson

            Thank you for your service:)

          • MichaelANovelli

            S’alright! 😉

          • MichaelANovelli

            It’s OK if you were into dinosaurs. After all, everyone needs a…hobby… 😉

          • Muthsarah

            How DARE you impugn my childhood self, and my once-encyclopaedic knowledge of dino-anatomy! That was used entirely for wholesome purposes at the time, none of which, in any way, had any relation with my vast collection of hard, rigid, plastic dinosaur play-things. You are a most perverted man with most perverted assumptions and a most-righteous mustache.

          • MichaelANovelli

            My, my, my, but there were an awful lot of Freudian slips in that statement.

          • Muthsarah

            So make a video about it already, Mr. Honky-Tonk. I have spoken my peace, I stand by my righteous non-sauropodian-violated purity, and, as such, owe you no further explanation.

  • $36060516

    Whoa, nice obscure early Human League. Now I’m picturing three pterodactyls doing a synchronized dance routine while they sing “Don’t You Want Me” to a porn star.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Well, after that song was removed from the DVD release of Worried About The Boy, I figured it should turn up, somewhere! ^_^

      • Muthsarah

        Seriously….a response within three minutes (seriously, I’m currently at the moment where it distinguishes the remarks to within minutes of each other) to the mention of something THIS esoteric. You are truly a marvel of modern humanity, Mssr. Mendo. And I’m a (belated) 80’s afficianado. I haven’t any idea how one could know such stuff as you know even by reflex.

        • MichaelANovelli

          What can I say? The bazaars in Iraq and Afghanistan had a lot of cheap movies, and I had plenty of free time.

          • Muthsarah

            One day you must regale us of stories of your travels in the exotic Orient. Of the many artifacts within these bazaars upon which your keen Western eyes fell, of the stories you’ve received regarding the exploits of your swarthy contacts, of the many temples and idols you have plundered in your off-time, in the pursuit of fame, fortune, or simply the glory of your name.

            You should not tease us so. If you have tales to tell, do tell them. We could not but be a rapt audience.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Well, I did write a book about it, but I’m between agents at the moment…

          • Muthsarah

            Kingdom Rattus? Was that in any way drawn from your experiences in the moste exotic Near East?

          • MichaelANovelli

            I meant I’ve written a second book, but, yes.

    • John Wilson

      I think “Human” by human league is one of the best love songs. Here a nice cover

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bppS5uWTYMI

      • MichaelANovelli

        The answer to The Human League is always more Human League!

      • $36060516

        Argh. That song was where they lost me. The song wasn’t written by them, it was written by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, who came from across the ocean with a completely different sensibility.

        I do appreciate this cover, though, which makes me realize that there isn’t anything wrong with the song structurally. It definitely helps that my reaction to it isn’t saddled with the disappointment I felt when the song originally came out and a band I liked a lot had completely changed their sound and given up writing most of the songs (they were trying to regain sales after the commercial failure of “Hysteria”) .

  • The_Stig

    With a title like that, it has to be good.

  • Gallen Dugall

    I still don’t understand this work

    • MichaelANovelli

      Well, there’s these pterodactyls, you see, and they have sex with this human woman. That’s the beginning and end of the story, even in the original.

      • Gallen Dugall

        I guess it could count as a work of speculative fiction

        • MichaelANovelli

          Or the subplot in one of those dramas where Orpheus is passing through Hell and just describing what’s going on in the background.

          • Gallen Dugall

            Ah-ha! So it’s an abstract criticism of modern moral values.

            Frankly I don’t think people fornicating with extinct or imaginary creatures are actually all that detrimental to society. They give us someone to look down on and say – I may be messed up but at least I’m not THAT person. I think we all need this. Pretty sure it’s why we have politicians, but they can’t do it all themselves.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Now, if more politicians did porn, America would be a better place!

          • Gallen Dugall

            it would certainly be more honest

          • MichaelANovelli

            Italy had a pornstar MP, once. And, now that I think of it, Marilyn Chambers ran for Vice President, back in the day.

          • Gallen Dugall

            I prefer porn-stars over whores