Paris Hilton Has Stolen Leeloo’s Multipass

Oh hey, what has legendary creep and American Apparel-style ridiculous facial hair exemplar Terry Richardson been photographing lately? Paris Hilton you say? Is Paris Hilton still A Thing? Mad props to Paris for continuing to be a superstar by doing nothing. That sounds snarky, but I really mean it. I think getting coin and fame for just being yourself or some simulacrum of yourself or some platonic ideal of what a starlet that has no starring roles should be. Richardson snapped Paris in this super-comfy, super-practical bondage and pasties outfit:

Hmmm. I feel like I’ve seen something like that somewhere…Yep, got it.

Paris Hilton Has Stolen Leeloo's Multipass

How many times have you watched Milla Jovovich rock the Jean-Paul Gaultier-designed bandages in Fifth Element? Mine is somewhere north of 20, but I blame late night teevee repeats for about half of that. Either way, I’ll take Leeloo’s made-up language and orange-hair hotness over Paris any day if I’m going to view ladies in outfits that are merely strips of tape.

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  • Mickey Bitsko

    Nice to see somebody standing up for mean girls for a change.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Now if we could just get those two to square off against Heather Locklear and Britney in some tag team jello wrestling…

  • x111e7thst

    I’m a great fan of Milla Jovovich’s boobs, WORK I meant work

    • emmelemm

      And Milla really seems to enjoy sharing her boobs via her work. Seriously, she’s done a lot of naked work, I’m saying.

      • Buddha Stalin

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

      • glasspusher

        Please. The correct term is “unencumbered with clothing”

    • Those are some huge pleasing tracts of work.

  • Pope Ratzo

    Milla Jovovic is as happynicetimepeople as it gets.

  • le_renard_de_velours

    For balance, you should consider adding a side-scrot section.

    • Buddha Stalin

      SideMooseKnuckle?

  • goonemeritus

    After seeing Milla rock that outfit I ran out and bought aknock-off, but it just hangs in my closet.

  • UnholyMoses

    Technically more bottom boob when it comes to Milla, and none in Paris’ case, but that’s okay because, really, we’ve seen enough of Paris already (the famous-for-nothing woman, not the city I haven’t been to…yet).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I spent a night in Paris- still waiting to get to Europe though

      • glasspusher

        What’s the difference between a sorority girl and a Cadillac?

    • the technical term is ‘underboob’.these are concepts that require precision.

  • emmelemm

    My dog is named LeeLoo, FFS. (So I can yell “LEELOO DALLAS MULTIPASS” at her when I feel like it.)

    • glasspusher

      That clearly sounds like either some sort of code, or that you’re a fan of non-sequiturs like I am.

  • How predictable that sideboob would be the first tab I clicked on upon visiting this site. Muscle memory is real folks.

  • Botlrokit

    I only respect selfies from photographers if they have bullwhips up their butts. Get with it, Terry.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Paris Hilton in soft bondage gear is what my people call a “boner killer.” I don’t know what straight guys call it.

    • We call it the same thing!

    • $73376667

      You would prefer Paris Hilton in hard bondage gear?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Would there be a ball gag? Because you might on to something.

  • Lectricboogaloo

    Is that the guy from Breaking Bad after he switched to crack?