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TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Cheap-Arse Film Review
Hosted by: Liam Barrett
It's the Cheap-Arse Film Review, where a young(ish) man finds out if it's possible to live the life of a cinephile super-nerd on the strictest budget possible. Inspired by growing up in the wilds of Essex, England (that's only partially a joke, by the way) and the current harsh economic times, Liam only reviews DVD that can be purchased for £1.00p or less!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The DVD Shelf
Hosted by: David Rose
Life is short, so skip the bad movies and let your host David Rose reveal, review, and recommend the ones you should have on your own DVD shelf. The DVD Shelf is a film-lover's safe haven to bask in the warm glow of cult favorites, over-looked cinematic gems, rediscovered classics, and downright fun flicks on both DVD and Blu-ray.
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Solkir
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
Joshua the Anarchist
Hosted by: Joshua Bell
Charged with the crime of liking Batman & Robin, Joshua the Anarchist has been declared insane and committed to Arkham Asylum. Locked away in a padded cell, he'll endure movie after movie as doctors attempt to "treat" him. He may not have gone in a madman, but he soon will be.
Movie Dorkness
Hosted by: Sofie Liv
It's the show formerly known as Red Suitcase Adventues! Join Sofie Liv, a nice Dane (who may not be as negative as everyone else!) as she dissects pop culture phenomena to explore both the good and bad in popular films.
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Mystery Madness
Hosted by: Full of Questions
Mysteries are awesome! And who's better suited to examine the wonderful, the terrible, and the adequate of the movie mystery genre than a teenager with nerdy glasses and substandard editing software? ...Many people, probably, but enjoy the show anyway!
PGSM Summaries
Hosted by: Nycea
Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (PGSM for short) is a hilarious live-action retelling of the Sailor Moon story. On this show, your host Nycea summarizes and riffs on this gloriously bad series—one episode at a time.
Reel vs. Reel
Hosted by: Animated Heroine
Animation isn't just for kids; it's also for adults who never learned how to grow up. In Reel vs. Reel, the Animated Heroine looks at two similar animated films to see which one comes out on top and why. Her love for good animated films is only matched by her cynicism towards the bad ones.
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Movie Review
Beautiful Creatures (2013)
Beautiful Creatures (2013)

I’m reluctant to use the term “anti-Twilight”, because it’s become such a cliché. It’s the nature of pop culture phenomena that we inevitably spend a few years comparing everything to them. The Hunger Games is the anti-Twilight because Katniss is a good role model. True Blood is the anti-Twilight because it has “real” (read: more traditional) vampires. Warm Bodies is the anti-Twilight because it’s... you know, good. But I can think of no other apt way to describe Beautiful Creatures than “the anti-Twilight”. It’s what it has very intentionally set out to be, in the same way that The Golden Compass set out to be the anti-Narnia.

The story takes place in the fictitious town of Gatlin, South Carolina, which is either a parody of rural South Carolina or was written by someone who only knows the state by reputation. Speaking as a current South Carolina resident, I admit we have more than our share of backwards-thinking, fundamentalist rednecks here, and yes, we have way more churches than is reasonable. We are not cartoon characters, however. Our churches don’t have banned book lists, we don’t hold constant Civil War reenactments, and we certainly don’t have accents that make us sound like extras on the set of Gone with the Wind. It’s like South Carolina as written by Stephen King.

Our male lead comes in the form of Ethan Wate, professionally discontent teenager and proud owner of the complete Classic Rebellious Youth Literature Collection (Catcher in the Rye, A Clockwork Orange, Slaughterhouse-Five , kid’s got ‘em all). He meets and falls in love with girl named Lena, a member of a mysterious and reclusive family living on the outskirts of town. Naturally, in a town apparently run by the mom from Carrie, they’re believed to be Satanists, but are in fact sorcerers, or “Casters” as they call themselves. Lena is a prodigy with difficulty controlling her powers, and is fearfully awaiting her 16th birthday, upon which she’ll either become evil or remain good, something female casters apparently have no choice in. Do you see where this is going?

It’s important to remember that while many criticisms have been levied against the Twilight series, by far the most troubling was its sexual politics. Bella Swan’s overdependence and self-deprecation had an unmistakable tone of misogyny and traditionalist subservience. Beautiful Creatures takes that tradition of sexually repressed obedient women supported by Stephenie Meyer and spits in its face. We’re told in the film that, unlike males, female casters have no choice as to whether they’re “claimed” by good or evil. Lena has a cousin who was claimed for evil, and not only does “claiming” look so much like an orgasm that I’m surprised they got away with it, but the claimed evil girl immediately becomes a sexually promiscuous temptress. There’s a curse associated with Lena’s bloodline that caused all of her female ancestors to turn evil because of a man, and Lena’s family is determined to keep Ethan and Lena apart, for fear that if she falls in love with a boy, he’ll inevitably break her heart, thus driving her to evil. The implication is clear: Magic itself has a virgin-whore complex in this universe. Lena must stand and prove that she is not some fragile women who can’t control herself or her emotions.

As goals for a film go, providing a rebuttal to the misogyny of Twilight is an admirable one. And I appreciate how the ending resolution doesn’t treat good and evil as bipolar opposites, but as two halves of the same whole. But despite its good intentions, the film just isn’t very well-written. The characters are broad stereotypes, the mythology is poorly-explained, and the story flows awkwardly. Characters’ actions rarely feel like a natural progression; they just go wherever the plot requires and get exposited at.

Fortunately, the film is salvaged by a wonderful supporting cast. Jeremy Irons may have the least convincing accent heard this decade, but he’s a joy to watch anyways. Viola Davis is great as always, and Emmy Rossum delivers a fun, sly turn as the secondary villain. But the real show stealer is Emma Thompson as the main villain. Thompson’s one of my favorite actresses, endlessly versatile and energetic, and her performance alone makes the film worthwhile. She fortunately has a good amount of screen time, and her sinister yet somehow quirky and vaguely bipolar monologues are endlessly entertaining.

Despite severe shortcomings in the script, I found Beautiful Creatures to be surprisingly entertaining. It’s unlikely to become a franchise, because if the aforementioned Golden Compass taught us anything, it’s that existing solely as the response to another film won’t get you far. But if some fun campy acting and a big middle finger to Twilight sounds worth your time, then give it a look.

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