“All that’s left now is to quickly get to the obligatory big battle sequence where the movie throws as many guys with guns into the frame as possible, and they all stand around shooting at each other long enough for us to finally end this damn thing.”
“Ultimately, Hollywoodland will probably only be remembered for the novelty of Ben Affleck playing Superman years before he played Batman.”
“Fans of the movie (and yes, this movie does have fans) will tell you it’s actually an underappreciated gem. I’m here to tell you those people might be clinically insane.”
“If you imagine the Marvel franchise as the movie equivalent of a TV series, then this is sort of like ending the season on a standalone episode after a big climatic two-parter, starring a character you’ve never heard of, in a story that means almost nothing to the larger plot.”
“Basically The Invisible Man redone as a slasher film, containing all the stupidity that this genre (unfairly or not) is associated with.”
“My confidence in British intelligence is dropping by the minute.”
“For a film that talks about the importance of humanity and human survival, it shows shockingly little faith in it.”
“So there you have it, folks. James Bond, secret agent: killed by a video game.”
“It’s a bit like if Christopher Nolan made Batman Begins and decided to cast Adam West.”
“As always: James Bond, the world’s most famous secret agent.”
“Was this another scene specifically written so as to avoid a potential lawsuit? Does Eon hold the copyright on interesting gadgets?”
“All I can think is, ‘A lot of people out there actually, unironically want this,’ and the thought just depresses me.”
“It’s like someone saw Ted and decided what it was really missing was a ton of fart and shit jokes.”
“The moral of the story appears to be clear: God may not be dead, but if you’re not a Christian, you soon will be, and He’ll make sure you have the most horrible, painful death possible.”
“I wish they’d spent as much time working on the storyline as the visuals, but it is what it is.”
“Despite the epic length, most of the cast will turn out to have existed to explore ideas or play second fiddle to the father/daughter relationship.”
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