Morning Sideboob: Lindsay Lohan Is Off the Wagon And Also Too Hates Jennifer Lawrence

Morning Sideboob: Lindsay Lohan Is Off the Wagon And Also Too Hates Jennifer Lawrence

Her Camp Says Magazine Made it Up

You have to believe us when we say we try not to report on La Lohan every damn day…but she makes it so very hard. How can we ignore the repeated bizarre behavior and career-ending decisions?

She calls out to us.

This episode is brought to you by Kode Magazine. Never heard of it, either. During a recent interview with the 27-year-old actress, the fashion publication claims:

1. Lindsay was sipping vodka while she was being interviewed.

2. Lindsay said she is dating a married man, and she is quoted as saying: “Oh, this guy I’m seeing sent me a jet because he wants to see me…but he’s married with kids.”

3. She was high on ecstasy at Coachella.

4. She thinks Jennifer Lawrence is fake and slept her way to the top. “She’s so fake and I’m sorry I’m not going to fuck for roles.”

Here’s video of the magazine photo shoot.

Lindsay’s reps deny, deny, deny it all.

Lindsay never spoke to any journalist at Kode. The interview was completed via email,” Lohan’s rep told “E! News” Monday. “We have no comprehension on why a journalist would fabricate this content and distribute it in such an irresponsible way.” The rep also insisted that the actress submitted a filled-out Q&A via email and had never spoken to anyone for the interview.

Kode is standing by its story.

Tune in tomorrow for more antics.

Michael Jackson’s Bodyguards Tell All in New Book

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Anyone who ever knew the King of Pop in any capacity will find a way to cash in. This week, it’s MJ’s former bodyguards. Javon Beard and Bill Whitfield have written Remembering the Time: Protecting Michael Jackson in His Final Days, a recount of their time with him.

The stories they share include lighthearted tales about Michael’s children, including the time when son Prince got a new dog and was lax on picking up after it. They say Michael got pretty mad when he inadvertently moonwalked into a dog dropping.

The bodyguards also reveal how they would sometimes go months without being paid while Michael went on thousand-dollar shopping sprees. That part is not so lighthearted.

But the most head-scratching news is that part of their duties included picking up several women and dropping them off at a hotel down the road from Michael’s Neverland Ranch. He would then visit with them after his children went to bed. One of his lady friends was referred to only as “Friend” and had an Eastern European accent, while another’s name was “Flower.”

It was Whitfield’s sense that Jackson was closer with “Friend” than he was with “Flower.” He says that when “Friend” came to town, it was a big deal. Jackson would even send his musclemen to buy presents from high-end shops like Tiffany in anticipation of her visit. According to the book, Jackson and “Friend” would hug and kiss while being driven around town.

Hmmm, yep, we just can’t picture it.

Hopefully, Michael’s technique on Flower and Friend was a little smoother than the one he used on poor Lisa Marie.

Jon Hamm Thinks Justin Bieber Is a Shithead

50th Anniversary of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital - Arrivals

Justin Bieber is fast at making enemies. Celebrities who have publicly aired their distaste for him include Seth Rogen (“All jokes aside, Justin Bieber is a piece of s**t.”), Olivia Wilde (“Bieber, put your f**king shirt on. unless you lost all your shirts in a fire in which case my condolences and please purchase a new shirt.”), Drake Bell (“‘Before I try to beat up the paparazzi I make sure my mascara is perfect!’ -Justin Bieber”), and now Jon Hamm is joining the bash.

In the May issue of Men’s Fitness, the “Mad Men” star doesn’t pull any punches:

Look at Bieber or whoever. You’re like, ‘What the fuck, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame. [He should have] a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, shithead!’ You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish? Life skills are something we’re missing… just shit you needed to learn in life. There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just shit you needed to learn in life.

The Biebs may not know how to cook or clean, but he can make a bong out of virtually any object in 5 minutes or less.

[Jon Hamm photo by PR Photos]

Sideboob of the Day

Kate Upton was on hand to support her latest project The Other Woman at the film’s L.A. premiere.

"The Other Woman" Los Angeles Premiere - Arrivals

[Kate Upton photo by PR Photos]

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  • Annie Towne

    Is it my imagination or is Hamm getting more handsome every year?

  • BraunKommando

    I must complain that even with a generous definition of sideboob, today’s sideboob is not much of sideboob. I am very disappointed. And my question for LIndsay Lohan is, if she is “not going to fuck for roles”, what would she consider to do it for. Just so, you know, I am prepared.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      needs moar zero G sideboob

  • old_redneck

    Sideboob? Nope, none at all. And that attempt at a camel toe is a big fail, too. Maybe Lohan is a man?????

  • hellslittlestangel

    There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called
    home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just shit you needed to
    learn in life.
    That Jon Hamm looks good for a 70-year old.