Apr 14, 2014
Looking Recap: Here's All The Gay Sex You've Been Waiting For!
So this week’s “Looking” recap is all about Patrick (Jonathan Groff) and Richie (Raúl Castillo). For all the critics and interweb trolls who have harped on and on about how HBO’s new gay, gay, gay series is too slow, slow, slow: Shut up. The newest installment, episode five, is the slowest yet, and we loooooovveed it, gay sex and all. We went on a date day with Patrick and Richie and loved every minute of it, even the swallowing.
Last week we left the two serendipitously meeting up at the end of Fairfax Street Fair at the Stud, a bar with a drag show and DJ music. So this episode opens with Patrick waking up in Richie’s bed, slinking out slowly to hit the shower and do the ol’ brushing of the teeth with his finger and toothpaste thang we’ve all had to improvise at one point or another.
So yeah, we’re immediately elated because Patrick gets some, and we get to see his ass crack, but just as he’s about to sneak out, he hears Richie in the other room playing bass and singing loud and proud en Espanol. And he’s naked! So Patrick isn’t going anywhere.
They go for it a few more times, making Patrick late for work. He grudgingly leaves, heads down the street, has a fuck-it moment and turns back and heads to Richie.
As a reward Patrick not only gets a blowjob and a very special eating him out happy ending. You go, HBO. Over breakfast Richie asks if he ate pineapple, which leads into the not-so-sexy safe sex talk.
“You think I’m a puto,” Richie says with a smirk, catching Patrick’s unintended drift that maybe Richie does that with all the boys. Patrick, of course, is incredibly paranoid and neurotic about safe sex, as he should be.
“I sneeze and I think I have HIV,” Patrick says, adding that he gets tested all the time and is incredibly careful.
“So why do you get tested?” Richie asks, before he tells Patrick that his last boyfriend was HIV positive. (But Richie’s not.) Which begs the question: Weren’t you afraid?
“Yes, but I loved him, so what are you going to do?”
Then after that nasty business is taken care of, they start getting down to the really important stuff. Patrick reveals his inner dork by geeking out at Goonies cards at the cash register, immediately breaking into his One-Eyed Willie impersonation to which Richie has no idea what he is doing.
This is cute because it’s really the first non-awkward exploration of their cultural differences. Patrick calls in sick to work and the two decide to spend the day getting to know each other, the best part of blossoming love. Richie one-ups Patrick’s embarrassing crush on Sean Astin as a kid by admitting he’s self-conscious about his teeth because kids teased him with a shitty nickname as a kid.
Then they decide to be tourists in their own town and jump on a bus. Richie picks a mystery location and they set out for adventure. As they sit on the bus, Richie asks about Patrick’s first sexual experience with a guy, which was on a bus on the way back from computer camp.
We find out he was 15 and chunky. Richie was, too. “I love ex-fatties,” Patrick exclaims. “They’re always nicer people.”
“So are we doing good?” Richie asks during a long period of silence.
The surprise destination is the planetarium Richie’s mom used to take him to as a kid. They re-create their Ross and Rachel moment, and they argue about who is Rachel. Patrick divulges that that he doesn’t particularly like being on the receiving end, to which Richie uncovers the root of it: Patrick has bottom shame. But it turns out Richie is more of a Rachel anyway.
They walk and talk about when they came out to their parents, the reactions, and whether they’ve taken boyfriends home to meet the ’rents.
Patrick is a no-go on that one, even though his parents are cool with the whole gay thing. He is sure all they are going to do is picture any boyfriend’s dick up his ass. In fact, he thinks that’s what most people instantly envision when he tells them he is gay: “Oh you’re gay? So you’re butt fucking now?”
Then there’s the walk on the beach and the hypothetical question about whether they ever want to get married now that it’s becoming legal. Richie asks if Patrick’s mother would be glad if he got married.
“I think so, because she wants everything to be normal,” he says. “Even if I was marrying a guy, I would be just like everybody else.”
Then we see the biggest differences between the two, and the sort of problems they are likely to face. Richie worries about the tangibles, like paying his rent. He is surviving. Patrick worries about stuff that hasn’t happened yet. He is terrified of the future.
And this is where it gets unbelievably cute. Richie explains that he doesn’t worry about the future because he sees his Senora, a psychic whose process includes rubbing eggs on his body for some reason, which piques Patrick’s interest incessantly, and ours.
We all have things that help us feel better, he says. Patrick wants to know what she would say about him.
So of course they go see Richie’s Senora so Patrick can get some eggs cracked on him. But as it turns out, Patrick only knows how to say things like ‘I want to fuck your mother’ in Spanish, so Richie was going to need to translate. Patrick’s terror for what his future holds becomes very clear.
They bolt instead and partake in more sex and pillow talk. In a post-coital cuddle, Patrick asks Richie if one day he’ll fuck him in the ass, to which Richie says he will oblige, and it’s oddly endearing. Then Morrissey’s “Everyday is Like Sunday” chimes in over the credits. The End.
To see Patrick’s friends try to foil his newfound love, tune in next Sunday to HBO at 10:30 pm.