Let’s Imagine What This Puppy Is Thinking

Let's Imagine What This Puppy Is Thinking

I don’t know, sometimes I think I want to go to grad school. You know, maybe I really need that MFA to get my writing to the place it should be. And I could teach, right? WHAT WHAT A NOISE WHAT WHERE WHAT OH IT IS DADDY.

UVA has a great creative writing MFA. And UT has two, and I’d get to live in Austin for three years. That’d be really amazing, I think WHERE IS MY BONE WHERE IS MY BONE WHERE IS MY BONE OH THERE IS MY BONE.

Then there are the experimental programs — I think there’s one at San Diego State. Poetics, stuff like that. I don’t know if I want to spend a couple of years reading Cheever, even though Cheever is fantastic. I just want to be able to break the mold, you know? Do something no one has done before, like BOOM BOOM IN THE SKY I HATE IT WHY IS THERE BOOM BOOM IN THE SKY AND THE BIG FLASHES AND THE RAIN I DO NOT LIKE THIS I WILL HIDE UNDER THE BED and ultimately I’ve always wanted to do a creative thesis rather than a researched one, so an MFA definitely seems like a great idea to me.

At the end of the day, I’m creative. That’s what I was born to do — create. What is a life if not a series of opportunities to make the world a better place through action? I see art as action. Always have. I know my Womyn’s Studies degree is easy to mock, but while I was at Hampshire I really felt like I was about to change the world. And in the years since, I just feel as if I haven’t changed the world much at all. Sure, I work at a place that only serves fair trade coffee beans, and I’m part of the inextricable chain of humanity that links me to the fairly-compensated South American laborer who picked the beans I’m currently brewing into an espresso for that businessman, but like, is that enough for me to feel fulfilled? To feel known and seen and loved and to feel, yes, useful in some significant way? I really want to feel alive and know that somehow, in some way, I’ve WHAT IS THAT SMELL IS IT SAUSAGE I LOVE SAUSAGE GIVE ME SAUSAGE SAUSAGE IS FOR ME NOT JUST FOR HUMANS WHERE IS SAUSAGE PUT SAUSAGE IN MY MOUTH PLEASE NOW SAUSAGE IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IT I WILL TAKE IT SAUSAGE SAUSAGE SAUSAGE!

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  • BigRedDog

    I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I should go back to school. It would help my career down the road to hone my technical skill and get more education in my specific field. But then I think about the time and financial commitment and I SAUSAGE?! WHERE IS THE SAUSAGE?! GIMME THE SAUSAGE!

  • ItinerantPedant

    SQUIRREL!!!

  • goonemeritus

    “If that big pink thing thinks Febreze is going to mask thesmell of what she did on that couch last night she’s crazy”.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Or I could go to Iowa State. Heh, Iowa , so old school. Take that, hipsters! Who went there? Sylvia? No, not her. Mary McCarthy? Heh, ‘The Group.’ ISU! Go Hawkeyes! or whatever. So retro it’s cool again. HOLY FUCK MOM’S WEARING SHORT SHORTS! HOLY FUCK *PANT PANT PANT*

  • lesterthegiantape

    so true.

  • WA Bishop

    The thing is, I want to make a difference, make the world a better place but I don’t want to follow anyone else’s THE COURIER TRUCK! THE COURIER TRUCK IS ON OUR STREET! GO AWAY COURIER TRUCK, GO AWAY!