With Long-Awaited First Arrest, Justin Bieber Cements Coveted ‘New Lindsay Lohan’ Title

Are you tired of hearing about Justin Bieber yet? No you are not, because he’s in full poor little rich kid bad boy teenage shenanigans meltdown mode. He’s been flirting with leveling up to a full-on arrest like a big boy, and last night he got his wish.

Pop star Justin Bieber was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and drag racing Thursday morning, a Miami Beach, Florida, police spokesman said.
Bieber was driving a yellow Lamborghini that police saw drag racing a Ferrari in a residential area of Miami Beach, police spokesman Bobby Hernandez said

Bieber showed “signs of impairment” and failed a field sobriety test, Hernandez told CNN. He was then taken into custody and booked on a drunken driving charge, he said.

Two SUVs “actually blocked the traffic at 26th and Pine Street so that they could race on Pine Street, almost making it like a makeshift race track,” Hernandez said.

The having your buddies block off the road with their cars part is a nice touch, don’t you think?

Social media being what it is, turns out the drag racing and arrest were caught with breathless squealing by some teenage girls.

Bieber’s been riding the teen terror train HARD lately, what with egging his neighbor’s house and getting all search-warranted for that and said search warrant turning up the completely expected cocaine and sizzurp. He was already under the spotlight for this most recent trip to Miami when people learned he dropped a cool $75K at a strip club. That wouldn’t really be a big deal, since who among us would not drop $75K at a strip club if we were made of money, except for the part where Justin Bieber is not yet 21 and therefore can’t be in a grown person alcohol-serving strip club. Oh, and except for the part that he may have gotten a police escort to travel there.

Another police department in the Miami area is investigating a report that some of its officers escorted Bieber’s caravan between Miami strip clubs this week with authorization.
Opa-Locka Assistant City Manager David Chiverton told CNN affiliate WSVN-TV that “at some point the escort took them at least to two locations that we know of.”

“The police administration had no knowledge of this escort, and it is not the norm for those things to occur without the chief and his administration authorizing such escorts,” Chiverton told the TV station.

Oh please. Shouldn’t this nation go to any lengths to protect the only source of Justin Bieber we have?? However, it is getting awful tough to protect Justin from his greatest threat, which is Justin. Looks like besides being arrested for the DUI he may have also had drugs in his system and might have resisted arrest.

[TMZ] also claimed that unidentified police sources said Bieber was additionally charged with resisting arrest without violence and driving on an expired license. The former charge was said to be because Bieber refused to take his hands out of his pockets when ordered to do so by police.

Justin, we eagerly await baby’s first plea bargain, which is for sure all you will get for this because you are an incredibly rich and famous white person. But just keep on truckin’ and we’re sure you’ll be moving on to multiple speeding tickets, numerous DUIs, and maybe the occasional running over a pedestrian at a club, and then you’ll do some really hard time, like 10 days worth.

Bets on whether or not he comes out of his first jail stretch with a full “Thug4Lyfe” chest tattoo or just one of the little teardrops on his face? Oh, and don’t forget to start your betting pools on when he goes to rehab (because that shit is inevitable) and how many times he goes to rehab (because that shit is inevitable too).

[CNN/MTV]

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  • Mojopo

    It was all well and good when he looked like a cute little lesbian, but now he’s grown a rat ‘stache and it’s all downhill from here. I wonder if Daddy Usher can find time to correct the youngster between family court sessions.

  • Nounverb911

    I hear his membership in the “27 Club” has been approved.

  • Farb

    That there Jasmine Beaver got hissef a real fine automobile. Too bad he don’t know how ta use it.

  • $73376667

    Quick: what’s Canadian for “la Migra?”

    • Farb

      Somebody needs to pluck his green card ASAP! If there ever was an undesirable–outside those with explosives and flying planes into buildings– it’s Ms Beaver.

  • Charles Wolf

    Call ICE. Deport the twerp.US detention centers are full of foreigners with traffic tix.

  • Annie Towne

    Can’t snark on this one; it’s too sad.