Apr 16, 2017
Jane the Virgin: Pride & Prejudice & Coddling
Jane the Virgin is back from the winter hiatus so let’s review what’s been happening in telenovela land:
- Jane had Rafael’s baby but was still in love with Michael
- Rafael got mad at Michael when he found out that Michael let Nadine, who kidnapped Baby Mateo, go. So he got Michael fired.
- They got into a fist fight in front of Baby Mateo and Jane told Michael that her baby comes first
- Dang, so Michael lost his job and his girlfriend? Nope! Michael’s firing was all for show so he could go undercover and investigate the drug lord Mutter
- Who is also Luisa’s long lost mother. This explains a lot about the Luisa/Rose romance
- Jane is in grad school and got a TA job to help offset the costs
- Xiomara and Rogelio are moving forward in their relationship
- Magda killed the Czech henchman Ivan and convinced Petra to help cover it up. But Magda confessed to the crime and now Petra might go to jail!
- And it would suck to give birth to her twins in jail. Didn’t you see that heartbreaking Orange Is the New Black episode?
Get it? Got? No? Too bad. We’re diving headfirst into telenovela land.
The Narrator explains that Jane loved school as a little kid. When a boy started targeting her in dodgeball class, Jane refused to lose her love of academia and told the boy that if he had a crush on her, then he should be nice. The boy tells Jane that he’s been hitting her with dodgeballs because Jane wouldn’t let him copy off her test.
Jane’s love of school and her goody goody attitude will play a bigger part in the episode later but for now, the present day Villanueva household is preparing for the arrival of Rogelio’s fabulous mother and Jane’s “Glamma”, Liliana. However, when she arrives, Glamma is not in a fabulous mood. Privately, Lilliana admits to Jane that her husband is gay and he left her for another man. Liliana begs Jane not to say anything to Rogelio, who idolized his parents’ marriage. Jane agrees and heads off to teach her class.
Jane is excited to discuss “Pride and Prejudice” with her students, but none of them have read or even heard of Jane Austen. “Books for Ballers is supposed to be an easy class,” complains one of them. As it turns out, Jane’s class is filled with jocks who took her class for an easy grade. Jane is determined to get her class involved so she watches basketball games at home to see if there’s a way to connect with them. Alba tells Jane that she shouldn’t coddle her students the same way she is coddling Mateo. Mateo still isn’t sleeping through the night and Alba thinks it because Jane isn’t teaching him to cry it out. Jane insists there are other “well-researched methods” to deal with a fussy baby.
“Who am I to talk? Oh yeah, just the woman who raised your mother AND you.”
Alba turns out to be right when Jane’s gentle sleep learning methods don’t work, but she still refuses to let Mateo cry it out.
Speaking of tense mother-daughter relationships, Petra and Rafael meet with a lawyer to see what her options are. The lawyer tells Petra that since Magda is able to implicate her in the crime, the only way to avoid jail time is to get Magda to admit the murder was all her idea. Unfortunately for Petra, Magda is sticking to her story.
Luisa recalls all the stories her mother used to tell her to help the police find any leads on how to find Mutter. Luisa remembers a story about a magical lake and after some detective work, Susanna finds out the magical lake is a real place. I mean, it’s just a lagoon with bio-luminescent fish but that still counts. Maybe Mutter is hiding out there!
Meanwhile, Jane spills the beans about Liliana’s drama to Xiomara and Alba. Alba insists that Liliana should stop trying to protecting Rogelio’s perceptions of his parents and help him to see that Rogelio’s father is happy out of the closet and can now live an authentic life.
Alba, the true gay ally.
The Villanueva women admit to Rogelio the truth about his father and surprisingly, Rogelio does take the news well. He wants to support his father and vows to show his mother that he is gay-friendly.
Meanwhile, Jane is still struggling not to coddle her baby and her students. She can’t resist picking up Mateo when he cries in the night even though she doesn’t get a good night’s sleep. Alba tells Jane that she needs to toughen up. While Jane can’t resist a crying baby yet, she can resists a whiny studs the. Star basketball player McBaskets (seriously, that’s his name in the episode) turns in a plagiarized paper and Jane gives him an F. He protests that he won’t be able to play in the upcoming big game, but Jane doesn’t care.
“I don’t give an Fs besides the one I just gave you.”
Rogelio, determined to show his mother that he is gay-friendly, hosts a dinner at Casa Villanueva and invites Alba’s gay friend from church and Jane’s gay friend from work. “Ricky Martin might stop by for dinner,” he adds. Liliana quickly notices there is something queer about this dinner and demands to know what’s what. Rogelio explains that he know about his dad being okay and is accepting of it. Liliana breaks down and admits the real reason she was holding off on the reveal was because once she did, Liliana would have to admit her marriage was over. “I moved in with your father right out of my parent’s house. I have never been alone,” she tells Rogelio. “And you won’t be,” Rogelio promises.
Meanwhile, Petra’s lawyer is only able to get her a plea deal. Rafael refuses to let her take it and as he cooks her dinner, the two try to think of a way to get Magda to confess. Petra notices the knife Rafael is using is the same brand Magda used to kill Ivan. Rafael insists that can’t be true. “This is new cutlery. It came in just before the Christmas party,” he tells her. “After Ivan was killed!” exclaims Petra. Knowing that Magda planted false evidence, Petra and Rafael turn her into the police and Magda is gone…until the next time the show needs a dastardly villain.
The head of the department calls Jane and tells her that she can’t fail McBaskets because he’s the best player on the team and the school wants him to win games. Jane still doesn’t want to give him a free pass and makes a deal with the kid: if she can shoot a basket on him, he’ll have to sit down and write the paper.
McBaskets takes the challenge. It goes about as well as you’d think a game of one-on-one between a college basketball athlete and a short, out of shape mother would go.
Which is: terribly.
Thankfully, McBaskets is impressed with Jane’s tenacity and tells her that he’ll write the paper after all.
Jane finally lets Mateo cry it out and what do you know, he finally learns to sleep through the night! Casa Villanueva celebrates this new development but they are interrupted when Manuel, Liliana’s husband arrives. Rogelio called him so they can all be one big happy family, but Manuel isn’t so pleased. Manuel wanted to tell Rogelio that he was gay and informs the family that Liliana knew he was gay their entire marriage! Wow, that’s a lot of drama. How will Alba the Gay Ally mediate this?
Speaking of drama, Michael confronts Jane for Facebook stalking his new girlfriend. He tells her that it’s over between them and it’s time to move on. Well, that’s the end of that relationship…until the next time the show decides they need a love triangle.
Anyway, Susana reports to Luisa that they tracked down to her mother to the lagoon and found out that she lived a quiet life until she passed away peacefully. And yes, they checked the body and it’s really her this time. This means that Mutter must be someone else! But who?
Across town, Rafael sits down and has a heart to heart with his mother, Elena. Elena apologizes for that whole “abandoning you in exchange for a big paycheck” and Rafael forgives her. He goes into his closet to dig out old family photos and he finds a stack of Elena’s letters tied with blue silk ropes–the exact kind Mutter uses!
“Bonding time is over, kid.”
Elena demands to know where a certain flash drive is and when Rafael can’t answer her, she drugs him and drags him offscreen.
So much for a family reunion.
- Elena, Rafael’s mother, is the drug lord everyone’s been looking for. Aaaaand she’s kidnapped Rafael.
- Jane is FINALLY going to move on from Michael.
- Rogelio’s dad is gay and he’s finally out of the closet, no thanks to Glamma who kept him there for 40 years.
- Magda’s in jail and Petra is free from her.
- Luisa and Susana kissed, by the way.