Jane the Virgin: Closer and Crossing

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Let’s review:

  • Petra and Rafael have finally declared a ceasefire and are slowly becoming close. Maybe very close…
  • Michael and the Miami PD are on the hunt for two drug lords: Sin Rostro aka Rose and Mutter aka Rafael’s mom Elena
  • Michael found the computer chip that holds all the faces Sin Rostro changed
  • Luisa is dating Susanna, Michael’s partner
  • Jane has developed a crush on her adviser, Jonathan Chavez

Jane is reeling over her sexy dream about her adviser, but Xiomara encourages Jane to go for her crush. Jane points out that it would be inappropriate for her to date her adviser. “Then why’d you put on that lipstick to go meet with him?” asks Xiomara. “What’s the shade called? Lusty Virgin?”

Oooh, will Professor Chavez be the one to cross off “Virgin” in the show’s title?

In minor subplots, Rogelio offers to babysit Mateo even though Jane is doubtful he can handle it and Xiomara’s 40th birthday party approaches. Meanwhile, Rafael and Petra are upset because Wesley, Jane’s gossip-y friend who wrote the scandalous tell-all about Rafael’s scandalous family, is at it again! Now that news has leaked that Rafael’s mother Elena is the drug lord Mutter, Wesley has even more fodder for his gossip site.

And just wait until he hears about the police have discovered that Rose was Elena’s former step-daughter! Wow, really? Man, it’s a small world for drug dealing. Next thing you know, El Chapo will be revealed to be Rafael’s dad or something.

Crap. I just gave this show an idea, didn’t I?

Anyway, Jane has a reading of her romance novel in front of family and peers at school and she can’t get her professor off of her mind. “I want you, Jonathan,” says Jane as she reads a particularly steamy passage.

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Oh, even Fifty Shades Of Grey isn’t as messed up as this.

Professor Chavez gently teases Jane about her new character “Jonathan” after the reading, which makes Xiomara think that Jane has a real shot with him. The two discuss this possibility as they baby proof Rogelio’s apartment. Xiomara finds Liliana’s wedding ring and the two get excited, thinking Rogelio is going to propose. However, when Rogelio walks into the apartment and sees them holding the ring, he announces that it’s going to be a family heirloom and passes it onto Jane.

You can actually see Xiomara’s hopes dashing to the bottom of the screen.

Meanwhile, the police informs Luisa about the connection between her former step-mother and her former step-mother/girlfriend. “Do you need a moment?” asks Michael. “I need a lifetime!” shoots back Luisa. Luisa recognizes a man in the background, Joey, and the police think they may have a lead to catch the two drug lords.

That would be great for the Marbella’s business because a big wedding party just pulled their reservation and now that’s going to make other guests panic. Rafael and Petra go to the bride’s art gallery opening to convince her to keep the wedding at the hotel. Turns out that the bride, Izzie, is one of Rafael’s ex-girlfriends. Awkward much?

That’s what you’d think, but it turns out Izzie’s biggest problem (besides hosting her wedding at her ex-boyfriend’s drug connected hotel) is that she hates Petra. Apparently, Petra was mean to Izzie once five years ago. Never fear! Izzie didn’t, like, hold onto this resentment AT ALL.

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Oh wait. She totally did.

Rogelio’s baby sitting Mateo and it’s going pretty well. Rogelio confides in Mateo that he is planning to propose to Xiomara at her birthday party. He shows Mateo the new diamond and gets distracted when Jane calls in to check on him. “Everything’s fine,” says Rogelio. “Oh wait, showing an infant child an incredibly small and incredibly sharp stone did not turn out as well as I thought it would.”

Mateo is taken to the doctor and is pronounced fine, but Jane is furious. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with the baby!” she tells Rogelio. Jane’s bad mood does not last long since Professor Chavez asked Jane if she would let him visit the set of Rogelio’s latest telenovela with his mother. Jane keeps her eyes open for any signs of flirting during the set visit and believes things are heating up between her and Professor Chavez.

Unfortunately, things are still icy between Petra and Izzie. Petra attempted to mend fences by sending an influential art critic to review Izzie’s work and unfortunately for her, the critic hated Izzie’s gallery. Izzie accuses Petra sabotaging her and storms off. Rafael asks Petra why she is so insistent on getting this client back and Petra admits it’s because she doesn’t want to be thought of as a trophy wife. Rafael assures Petra that she was never a trophy and she had good ideas about how to run the hotel when they were together. As they reminisce about happier times, Petra gets an idea!

Meanwhile, Jane and Professor Chavez are having a good time together at the set visit. He walks her to the car and tells her he had a great time. He leans in. Jane leans in and….kisses his sweater.

Yeah, Professor Chavez wasn’t into Jane, after all.

JANE THE VIRGIN: Closer and Crossing

“Please don’t let that hashtag trend.”

Petra offers Izzie free food for her wedding in exchange for not cancelling and Izzie agrees, but insists that her unflattering sculpture of Petra be displayed in the lobby as well. Rafael congratulates Petra for getting the account and kisses her. You’d think Petra would be thrilled that the man she secretly artificially inseminated herself for and spent all this time hatching schemes to get him back would be thrilled but Petra doesn’t Rafael…yet. “Are you over Jane?” she asks. When Rafael doesn’t answer right away, Petra walks away.

Xiomara turns down Rogelio’s extravagant birthday party to do her time singing in little night clubs. Xiomara (and the writers) have realized that she has completely forgotten about her career and needs to focus on that. So when Rogelio finally proposes, Xiomara warns him that she doesn’t want to have any more children. Rogelio is disappointed because he still wants them and tells Xiomara that he needs to think about their relationship.

Speaking of re-thinking things, Jane wonders if staying a virgin is such a good idea. Now that she’s a single mom with a crazy telenovela life and trying to write a novel, would it be so bad if she got her v-card punched every now and then? Before she makes any big changes, Jane decides to start with switching her adviser.

She goes to Professor Chavez and apologizes for misreading the signs and announces that she will switch to another advisor so things don’t have to be awkward between. “Well now that you’re no longer my advisee, do you want to go to dinner sometimes?” asks Professor Chavez.

Guess Jane didn’t misread the signs.

Meanwhile, Susanna breaks up with Luisa because she feels Luisa is still waiting for Rose to come back. Speaking of whom, Rose and Elena discuss how the police have gotten ahold of the computer chip. “That could mean bad things for us, Mother,” Rose says.

So this means Luisa slept with her former step-mother slash….current half-half-sister? This relationship is too strange, even for telenovelaland.

So let’s review:

  • Jane and Professor Chavez are going on a date!
  • Xiomara an Rogelio might be over before they even started
  • Rafael could start again with Petra…if he can get Jane off of his mind
  • Rose and Elena are going to team up to do….evil, dastardly things I guess.
  • JANE MIGHT LOSE “THE VIRGIN” IN HER NAME!!!

Susan Velazquez

Susan is a recent college grad and writer who enjoys all things from the 1980s, snarking on dumb television, and reveling in celebrity gossip. Oh, and she has serious interests like reading historical fiction, getting involved in social issues, and consuming French fries.

TV Show: Jane the Virgin

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