We Will Never Pay The British One Red Cent For Parking Because We Are Proud Americans

We Will Never Pay The British One Red Cent For Parking Because We Are Proud AmericansSo if you live in London like a fancy ponce-y British person it will cost you approximately one squidzillion dollars to park and drive there thanks to congestion costs and a general principle that you shouldn’t fucking drive in London, thankyewverymuch. Unless you’re an American diplomat, in which case you are like naw mang, good luck making me pay for anything. If you are Hillz, you stone cold try to muscle the parking people out of the way so they can’t give you a ticket, because let’s face it — she killed Vince Foster over much much less.

Hillary Clinton well and truly overstepped that mark at the weekend when her people-carrier parked illegally in London –- and was promptly slapped with a ticket by a London parking warden, despite a posse of security men leaping out of the car and trying desperately to keep the man away from her vehicle.

But British parking attendants are made of sterner stuff than that. It takes more than a few heavily armed secret service dudes to put them off. And, most importantly, in this country, just because you are a former first lady and secretary of state, that doesn’t mean you cannot pay your £3:30 hourly parking rate and expect to get away with it.

We are breathlessly awaiting the wingnut poutrage over how this is a flagrant misuse of the Secret Service against our best friends, the British, and it is all the fault of the boorish Barack Obama, and George Bush would never have done such a thing.

At least no one can cry about how we are spending tax moniez on parking tickets to foreign-y foreigners, because we will never pay England because no taxation without representation, yo.

[I]n 2011 London Mayor Boris Johnson asked US President Barack Obama to pay the outstanding charges when he attended a Buckingham Palace banquet.

“Could you please write me out a cheque for £5million?” Johnson asked him.[…]

The Americans refuse to pay, saying the charge is a ‘tax’ from which they are diplomatically immune.

Take that, Brits. We won the fucking Revolutionary War and we owe you nothing. NOTHING.

[Daily Beast]

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  • $73376667

    Clinton motorcades have to fuck up traffic over there so that they don’t fuck up traffic over here, or something.

  • actor212

    Hey! I can comment here again! Tell you what, Bor-o…we’ll pony up the five mil as soon as you guys pony up for cleaning up the bomb that was left at your fucking consulate in NYC, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmK?

  • ortcritic

    I want a Princess phone.

  • willi0000000

    face it Brits, you’re gonna owe us forever for WWII.

  • The British are coming! The British are coming!