VIDEO: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)

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In the distant future of 1996, a biker named Harley Davidson (Mickey Rourke) and a cowboy named the Marlboro Man (Don Johnson) team up to rob a bank’s armored car, but instead end up with a huge stash of a designer drug called “Crystal Dream”. Now they’re on the run from a corrupt, criminal, murderous bank CEO, also known as “a bank CEO”.

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  • Thomas Stockel

    Great review. 🙂  I had forgotten how good Mickey Rourke looked…

    And I meant that in a totally heterosexual way…Totally…

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks!

      I understand completely. He was a very handsome guy before he messed up
      his face. (cue the “whats wrong with your face” RLM meme)

  • The_Unusual_Suspect

    “Oh no they got Urkel!” LOL! 😀

    But seriously, great review Cecil. I learn a lot watching your reviews, I had no idea Rourke had surgery, I just thought that was the way he naturally looked. It’s odd to see him so young, he bears a strong resemblance to Bruce Willis here. That was made all the more odd with the Die Hard 5 poster. I wonder if the director thought the same thing.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks 🙂

      A little known fact (that I didn’t put in the review) Rourke was first offered the role of Butch Collidge in Pulp Fiction. He turned it down and it went to Bruce Willis.

      He totally has that Bruce Willis look. I wonder what would have happened to him if he didn’t go back into boxing. He was already drinking pretty heavy and there is a pretty good chance that even though boxing messed up his face, if he didn’t go back there he might have gone down a road that may have messed up his life.

  • edharris1178

    I reviewed this on my blog.  Gave it a 4/10 but it’s still an agreeable way to kill 90 minutes.  Good stuff, Cecil.  It’s definitely better than its reputation.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks Ed. Although 4/10? This is a total 8/10 for me but I have a major soft spot for 90s action movies.

      • edharris1178

         I’ve got a soft spot for them as well, this one just didn’t quite make it for me.  There was good cheese to be found, just not enough of it in my eyes.

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          Fair enough.

  • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

    Wow, I did not recognize Kelly Hu at all.  How she’s grown.  Also, RIP Big John Studd, you were a great wrestler.  And Tia Carrere?  Damn, that is an ensemble cast for 1991.  I kind of wonder if you’d review Showdown in Little Tokyo, that is an underrated classic that also has a great cast.

    • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

      And on another note, I can easily see you and Sofie reviewing the career of Sven Ole Thorsen, that would be an interesting crossover.  It would be a pretty long review of even his minor roles, since he’s done so much work (Man, if someone recapped Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future, I’d be absolutely stunned). 

      • Cecil_Trachenburg

        Sven Ole Thorsen? Yikes, even if we just covered the Arnold movies it would take an hour. lol

        • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

          Hey it’s Sven being covered by Sofie and yourself!  Covering the greatest Danish action star with the greatest Danish movie reviewer, don’t dismiss that!  Especially with his filmography!  If Sailor and the 7 Balls can be recapped on this site imagine a recap of Quick and the Dead, Collateral and the climax, him in Gladiator.  All the recap reviewers here are all so good, I can only imagine the material you’d come up with for that.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Oh, I’m not dismissing him at all! I’m just saying even if we selected
            just a portion of his career it would be a very long video. I have nothing but respect for the guy.

          • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

            Even if I buy a DVD for you and Sofie for a Gladiator recap (I can afford easily but mailing addresses not so easily obtained) but like you say the guy has done so many movies and never had a bad performance it’s hard to make jokes about his work…since he’s pretty good even in bad movies no one singles him out whatsoever

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Don’t worry I have plenty of his films around. I’ll think about maybe giving him a lifetime achievement award or something.

          • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

            A good name for a Lifetime Achievement Award: Enduring the Agony, One That Got Away. 😀

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

       Kelly Hu was 22 at the time but looked like a kid. I guess that’s why she is in her mid 40s now and looking amazing.

      Big John Studd was from back in the old days of wrestling. I understand the sport had to evolve but I miss the old WWF days.

      Showdown in Little Tokyo is great! That was my introduction to Brandon Lee. Dolph was good as always and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa was a very solid bad guy. 

      • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

        Did you ever watch Tia Carrere in Relic Hunter?  I thought it was a decent show but suffered a lot from bad writing and zero budget.  I wonder if you have seen it and have an opinion on it.

        • Cecil_Trachenburg

          Relic Hunter was great Saturday afternoon entertainment. It was so blatantly Tomb Raider meets Xena. Tia was stunning in it and I’m surprised it didn’t last longer. Hell, at the very least it was better than Baywatch Nights.

          • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

            I agree with both statements.  It’s quite strange to go into actors filmographies, you can find so many things you either had forgotten or had never known (for me, no idea that Tia was in Friday the 13th: The Series.)  I’ll have to go back and rewatch those shows, since that series was critically underrated.

          • Cecil_Trachenburg

            Friday the 13th the series is tremendous. While some of the effects may come off cheesy now, the writing was always top notch. The Scarecrow episode is frikkin legendary.

            I wonder how it would have been received if it had a different name.

          • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

            The theme music is so simply brilliant.  It’s a few notes and you know something is going to happen.  I just rewatched Scarecrow and holy cow I had forgotten how much can be ascertained by letting actors act instead of explaining everything in overly long monologues.  The scared wife, the scarred boy, the protagonists, the villainess, the setting…very little needed to be said for that premise to actually work.  They only talked when they were figuring things out the audience already knew, and we were left wondering if the characters knew.  And the set designs were good and consistent, and the story was pretty well done. 

            As for an alternate name, I’d not be sure how well it would’ve been received.  Maybe Curious Goods or Cursed Collectors might’ve been OK, but it wouldn’t have that mainstream appeal, especially back when it was made, that Friday the 13th had.  The show would’ve been good regardless of the name, but at the same time who would’ve thought CSI or Pretty Little Liars would be hits based on name alone?

  • Nuclearademan

    The fact that a film starring Don Johnson bombed shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Him aside the cast for the film was pretty good for 1991.

    As for Rourkes face I think Charlie Brooker put it best “you could use a picture of him to scare a kid away from a plate of cookies”. How he pulled that model he’s with I’ll never know.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Johnson has the same problem as David Caruso. They are huge on TV but could never pull of movies.

      Back in the day he could get any woman on the planet. Now he is getting that model because of his new found $$$.

  • I bloody LOVE this film!

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      A true classic!

  • Immortan Scott

    When Giancarlo Esposito visited my college a few months ago, he mentioned this film. I vaguely remember him talking about Mickey and Don being divas.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      That’s pretty cool! He probably had some great stories to tell.

  • boyandhorse

    Thanks for calling out this little known gem, I remember catching it on Cinemax in High School, and have loved it every since.

    I personally hated the Wrestler, but this film is pure fried gold.

    • Cecil_Trachenburg

      Thanks!

      I liked the Wrestler for being so darn depressing. It didn’t sugar coat anything, which is rare these days.

      • Liam Barrett

        The way to look at The Wrestler is as the ultimate Worse-Case Scenario. Not all wrestlers end up like that, but there have been more than a few heartbreakers over the years. The film is just a look at an almost-genetic fuck-up who manages to do EVERYTHING wrong.

  • I felt delighted, when I heard that you used sample from  “Syndicate” game at 6:30. 😀 I also had a flashback from that game, when I saw that thugs in trench coats. 😀

  • Peter Max

    seriously Ive watched this movie many times ^_^ I like his every move and step he took I’m the biggest fan of this movie .. I just bought Harley Davidson Biker Leather Sheath couple of days back and I’m pretty glad now 🙂

  • Lola

    I’m slightly disturbed by Cowboy Man beating the fuck out of a Native American.

  • Jeff Blevins

    The Bell 222 and mini gun dropping from sliding open cabinet
    screams Ariwolf!