• Agonizer / Text / One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Treasure

You Finally Have A Chance To Get The Sexy Jesse Jackson Jr. Swag You’ve Always Dreamed Of

So you’ve got some coin in your pocket. It’s jingle-jangle-jingling and you’ve been thinking “hey, I wish I could simultaneously celebrate a politician’s fall from grace AND get some really outrageously bad fashion-y type stuff in the process.” People with more money than sense, today is your day. Jesse Jackson Jr’s confiscated forfeited booty is at auction and it could be yours all yours. NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY??

What can we get? What CAN’T we get?

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What on God’s green Earth is that thing? Apparently it is for ladies, and it has bits of fox AND mink. Hawt. Bidding starts at $260, which is a bargain because we would probably pay somewhere in excess of negative one billion for this thing.

Maybe you want to get your lady something that’s a little more for the bedroom, gnome sane?? Howzabout this little number?

You Finally Have A Chance To Get The Sexy Jesse Jackson Jr. Swag You've Always Dreamed Of

Cashmere and mink. MUCH more subtle. The ladies in your life will love it.

How ’bout you get yourself a little something fellas, or ladies also too, or anyone, really, that digs having some sexxxxxy dragon art on the wall:

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That’s what we’re TALKING ABOUT. Bidding starts at $350 because you pay extra for the dragon, we think.

Did you want some Michael Jackson memorabilia? Because you can have some Michael Jackson memorabilia.

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This picture is clearly from the sought-after Michael Jackson “Inexplicable Leg Gauntlet” era. Bidding starts at $190, but we’d go as high as $5 just so we could put that on our wall and tell all our friends it carries with it a little piece of the soul of Jesse Jackson Jr.

The auction runs through September 26, and if you really love us you’ll get us that mink cape thing AND the sexy Bruce Lee picture.

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  • SullivanSt

    I think if I owned that first coat, I’d pay someone $260 to make sure I never saw it again.

  • $73376667

    But will the Michael Jackson memorabilia want to rape you?

  • ZorakHendrix

    I’m in the market for some vintage dashikis… am I in the wrong place?

  • Mojopo

    Oh my yes, I’ll have the red one. It’s like a tarantula mated with a Snuggie.

  • Indiepalin

    Needham? I barely met him.

  • dsmith

    The red one is from the Rick James collection.

  • $160578

    I’d have never guessed that Jesse’s preferred style would be Gangster Rococo.