VIDEO: Chinango (2009)

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Renegado takes a look at Chinango, allegedly the first Latin American martial arts movie ever made. Filmed in Mexico in 2006, and not released until 2009, Renegado finds out if this movie measures up with other entries in the martial arts genre, or if he has another Undefeatable on his hands.

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  • danbreunig

    Some things I learned from Chinango:

    –Marko Zaror can pass for today’s western Jean-Claude Van Damme
    –You CAN make a YouTube-budget major commando film
    –When Gordon Lightfoot’s lookalike cokes out, shit goes down fast
    –Proof of Rule 34: some guys jack off to the very thought of their next upcoming fight
    –Insane traitorous girlfriends have names similar to fellow Boothers
    –Save your mystical lightning powers for expositions only
    –When you’re tracked down to a packed club, fight Tiger Yang’s “Rage of the Master” style
    –Bearded Fat Albert makes a terrible hit man
    –5000 bonus points for obscure references
    –Yes, Renegado-San!

    • Haha, seems like this film does teach good life lessons.
      -Hell yeah, Marko Zaror should be in more action movies, he’s badass enough to deserve it.
      -You can make anything on the tiniest budget, the only limit is your imagination…and the tiny budget.
      -I looked GordonLightfoot up, totally looks like him xD
      -THAT SCENE WAS WEIRD
      -Don’t tell this to Sofie, she may use it as an advantage <_<
      -Yessss
      -Haha, it's the only way my friend.
      -PFFFFFFT Bearded Fat Albert XD
      -Hooray for obscure references!

      Thanks, hope you liked the review too!

      • danbreunig

        Indeed I do like it! Certainly enough to make a list of playful observations. I love obscure references, too–the vast majority of people won’t get them, but the very few people who do get them REALLY get them.

  • MephLord

    This movie looks so awesome. I need more plants in my home for sure after seeing how great it can make a person. Also having a crazy Mexican girlfriend (is that being prejudiced because it seems like it’s portrayed in a lot of movies) seems like the sex is good but the relationship is a disaster. The giant Corona sign was a nice bit of class for the movie. Also I guess jerking off leads to being a better fighter. I’ll take that under advisement.

    Also I’m sure Chinese never experience racism in Mexico. I mean to think only white people can be racist would be stupid wouldn’t it? Well wouldn’t it? From seeing Undisputed 3 I know Marko Zaror looks like he was holding back in this movie compared to how fast and powerful he can look with better stunt fighting opponents.

    • The movie is pretty awesome, but like you said, Zaror is holding back here, he can do way more badass stunts and choreographies, but here he was limited by the minuscule budget the director had, I’d recommend watching Kiltro and Mirageman, he’s a complete badass in both of those flicks.

      Also I could swear the director has some sort of jerking off fetish, dunno why. xD

      Racism between other races? Such a thing is a fairy tale my friend, only white people are evil xD

      • Thomas Stockel

        Well, Jerry, where masturbation is concerned I think Shakespeare said it best: “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin a self-neglecting”. Sure, the scene is from Henry V and in the court of the king of France, but I totally know what Shakespeare was really talking about. I can read into the subtext.

        • danbreunig

          It’s said that he was more of a social psychologist than a writer. Proof in thy pudding.

      • MephLord

        Renegado I got to thinking (uh oh) but wouldn’t Zaror be a great La Tarantula in a Web of Spider-Man movie? Tarantula is already a latino super-villain (not sure if Brazilian qualifies as latino but I think in most people’s minds it does) so it’s not like he’d have to fake an accent.

        He could so do much bad ass stuff with the toe spikes of La Tarantula as well as the toxic webbing he can emit with his gauntlets. Wall running and flipping, epic spinning and kicking Spider-Man in the face with toe spikes…damn that would be nasty. Spider-Man would have to fight an enemy even more agile than he is! I can easily see Tombstone hiring him to either distract or kill him while he does a business deal, and the exchanges between the two would look just as good as Doc Ock vs Spider-Man in the Tobey Maguire sequel.

  • $36060516

    I bet Sophie can’t find a Danish martial arts movie… Or can she?!

    • Well, there’s a barbarian danish movie, I’m pretty sure she can find a martial arts film pretty easily xD

      • Sofie Liv

        I can find a monster movie universally acknowledged as the the worst monster movie ever made!

        REPTILICUS! .. and yes, yes I have to do some-thing with that one day.

        We also have a western that is regarded as a classic among ourselves, but martial arts movie? urhm… urhm…

        I’m sure that if I look long enough I can find one.

        • Reptilicus? Please tell me it’s a giant monster film!

          • Sofie Liv

            IT IS! 😀

            And it’s really really bad with lousy monster effects, it’s the first and only giant monster movie Denmark ever made.

          • Oh my gosh! You have to cover it! Giant monster flicks are my favorite genre of movies (apart from westerns)

      • MephLord

        Viking movies could be considered martial art movies, even if it’s hard to do flashy jump kicks in full plate armor. Even though Braveheart is considered a period epic it does have elements of martial arts in it, not to the point that you’d watch the movie expecting that but you know you are going to get combat. Same for Gladiator. Some people consider Raging Bull and Rocky as martial arts movies but I consider them sports movies, since Boxing is a sport.

        To be a martial arts movie it has to involve unregulated fighting, so as much as I like MMA documentaries and such they are disqualified from any list. Donnie Yen, Jackie Chan, JCVD and Scott Adkins are all great martial arts actors.

        After seeing Sensei Seagal in Machete, I consider him a Martial Lardist…totally embarrassed that he was in the movie, but at least his death wasn’t dignified. It’s not that being overweight is a bad thing (I’m not one to judge) but you can’t also be an action star and martial arts “icon” if you look that way.

        • Unless you’re in a badass comedy (See Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz)

          • MephLord

            Comedies don’t count. No one took Beverly Hills Ninja as a legit action movie with realistic combat sequences. Any more than Michael Myers or Leslie Neilson were legit spies in Austin Powers and Naked Gun respectively.

          • How about Jackie Chan’s martial arts IN comedies?

          • MephLord

            Jackie Chan is a unique genre unto himself. Because just like Sammo Hung, you know the guy has some serious skill in movement. He was inspired by Charlie Chaplin and you can see that in a lot of his earlier movies where it was mostly slapstick and parkour-style humour.

            But you can be sure he could beat up someone if he had to as well.

  • rainflyx

    They actually took I’ll Make a Man Out of You, from the Mulan soundtrack, translated it into Cantonese, and used that as their intro music? I can’t tell if that’s impressively lazy, or an impressive amount of effort.

    Compare for yerself:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64

    • Haha, no, that’s something I edited together myself to ilustrate anything could sound better than the intro music, plus it fits xD Not sure what does that say about the movie tho…

      • rainflyx

        Thanks for the clarification! And now I’m in the same philosophical predicament as you are. Is it better or worse for not blatantly ripping off the Mulan soundtrack? I have no idea.