Category: TV

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Once Upon a Time: Lord of the Assholes

This week on Once Upon a Time’s dramatic two-part season finale, the Author proved himself to be the crappiest alt-world fanfiction writer ever. Snow White got a new, even worse haircut. (Yes, it is possible!) A few people died, then un-died. A long-awaited “I love you” was exchanged. Old Dirty Homeless-Looking Mickey remained Old Dirty and Homeless-Looking, then died and stayed dead. And Storybrooke got both a new Author and a brand new Lord Assholes.

Mad Men: Desperado

It’s the third to last Mad Men: Joan gets a new partner and makes Hobart an offer. Roger and Peggy share a special moment and both display hidden talents. Don goes on a road trip and encounters someone from his past.

Once Upon a Time: Mother EFFER!

Just in time for Mother’s Day, Once has gone and delivered us an hour filled with mother/daughter reunions, mother/daughter reconciliations, mother/daughter bonding sessions, and a fire-breathing dragon who burns people’s faces off . . . You know, the usual . . .

My Guilty Pleasure: Dance Moms

Dance Moms is awful. Yes, Abby Lee Miller is the worst. Yes, I know all that drama is scripted. Yes, it’s awful that talented little girls are being exploited by producers. But I really really like Dance Moms, you guys.

The Flash: Once Upon a Dream

Barry sets a trap for Harrison while Joe tries to live Iris’s life for her, which is totally a dick move, but we’re really more worried about the whole Harrison thing, what with him secretly being a supervillain and all.

Mad Men: California Dreamin'

Hijinks ensue when it looks like an underling forgot to pay the rent. Roger gets ready to fire some ladies. The overlords at McCann have some news. Stan and Peggy bond over an abandoned child. And Don comes up with a plan to save the day!

Game of Thrones: Decapitated by Kindness

This week’s Game of Thrones features Arya doing a little housekeeping, Sansa getting engaged again, Tommen getting a whole lot of nookie, Jon Snow getting a little head, Margaery beating Cersei in a verbal smackdown, and a High Septon being quite literally beaten by his religion.

Arrow: Trying Out a New Position

This week on Arrow, Oliver gets a new name and a new job. Oh, and he totally gets laid, too. With Felicity. Plus, not everybody who was dead at the end of last episode is still dead at the end of this one. Eh, comic book TV shows, whatcha gonna do?

The Flash: Identity Theft

This week on The Flash: so many secret identities, so little time. The Flash faces off with a villain who can be anyone, and Cisco discovers the true Harrison Wells. Plus, yet another Arrow crossover.

The Americans: Everybody Lies

Elizabeth and Paige bond on a trip to see Grandma while Philip bonds with Sandra at EST. Oleg has good news for Stan. Philip gets Martha out of trouble at work, and Ronald Reagan makes a speech.