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Once Upon a Time: I Dream of Genie

This week on Once, Emma gets “wished” into an alt-world, where her hair and makeup are better, but everything else about her is way worse. Also, Aladdin becomes everyone’s b*tch; the Evil Queen unleashes her inner reptile; and everyone who thought Belle’s kid was super creepy, and most likely The Worst, gets to say “I TOLD YOU SO!”

Bad First Drafts: Arrival (2016)

Arrival is raking in decent money and could snag a few major award nominations in the coming months. But even the best movies don’t start out brilliant. Agony Booth’s fearless team of dumpster divers has discovered the painfully blunt first draft of Eric Heisserer’s screenplay…

Hit or Bomb? December movie predictions

December is the time of the year that brings yule tidings, whatever the hell those are, along with the studio’s most family-friendliest blockbusters and their most Oscar-batiest of awards contenders. The release of another Star Wars film is imminent and looms large over this month’s releases, but there are still plenty of other films vying for your hard-earned ticket dollars this December.

Jane the Virgin: Holy Mother of God

Previously on Jane the Virgin: Jane’s Crazy Cousin Catalina came into town and surprised her with an impromptu family reunion. Catalina is fun, cool, hip, and possibly evil since all long-lost relatives tend to be in telenovela land…

Once Upon a Time: Baby mama drama

This week on Once, Belle’s “baby” keeps haunting her dreams, while not so subtly hitting on her, and no one is supposed to think that’s weird. Aladdin becomes a Genie, and moves into a lamp, which I guess beats his prior job of living in a cave and being unemployed.

Scream Queens: Bloody Hell

Welcome to Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens, where all the good characters (see Chad, Denise Hemphill, and Tristan the Stalker) get killed off too soon. As you all know, I am tired of recapping this show and will be handing the reins to Chanel Oberline herself. Keep in mind, we at the Agony Booth are not responsible for any of the horrible things she says. Take it away, Chanel!

Jane the Virgin: Kissing cousins

Previously on Jane the Virgin: Jane reached out to Alba’s side of the family and now her crazy Catalina has showed up on her doorstep, ready for a family reunion? How do we know she’s crazy? Long-lost relatives usually are in telenovela land…

Supergirl: Waiting for Cyborg Superman

Well, there are lots of action plots with this week, with plenty of mano a mano fights (or extraterrestre a extraterrestre, as the case may be) and lots of Michael Bay-esque shots with the camera circling around combatants (and even just people sitting around having drinks)…

Moon Zero Two (1969): a recap (part 9 of 10)

When we last left Bill and Clementine, Lithuania suffered a major setback in their plot to annex the Moon, but it left the Moon Bug shot to hell. Bill opted to use the “bugdozer” instead, but it only has enough charge for a 150-mile trip, and it’s 200 miles to Farside Five. Fortunately, the bugdozer is built to go over mountains, so it’s time to find a shortcut. The pair head out…

How to Get Away with Murder: Face/Off

Previously on How to Get Away with Murder: Frank is back! He tried to make amends with Annalise, but she wasn’t having it. He then offered to kill himself in front of her. Annalise is fine with it, which I’m sure wasn’t the reaction Frank was hoping for. Michaela hates her mom. Naturally, Asher arranged for them to get together…