A completely unlicensed and unauthorized porn parody of Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z and lots of other anime, complete with horrible animation, cartoon jizz flying everywhere, the sailor girls growing cocks, and a plot too puerile for ten year old boys.
Renegado faces Robert Rodriguez’s second attempt at making a movie for kids. In this installment, the siblings find themselves on a strange island with Ray Harryhausen-inspired hybrid creatures created by a crazy scientist named Romero (Steve Buscemi). Also, there’s Ricardo Montalbán in a wheelchair.
This week, we side with the Browncoats in a Serenity-themed “Agency vs. Structure” Smackdown! With cameos from Welshy, Cheapus, FunkyMonkey, Sofie Liv, the Porn Critic, and Mysterious Overlord of the Agony Booth Winston O’Boogie, it’s going to be… interesting.
Fatal Games, AKA Olympic Horror, made to cash in on the 1984 Summer Olympics, features a killer who puts an end to the dreams of a bunch of Olympic hopefuls using his weapon of choice, a javelin.
The Suspect begins a trilogy of reviews where he takes a lighthearted look at Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies! First, he takes you blow by blow through 2001’s Fellowship of the Ring, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, and Viggo Mortensen.
Mexican Batwoman stars the beautiful Maura Monti as a super-heroine who must stop a nefarious doctor from creating a race of fish people from dead lucha libre wrestlers, all the while punching out bad guys, solving crimes, and wearing a bikini. Just like Batman!
“MikeJ helps the Porn Critic review Busty Cops 2! Will it answer all the unanswered questions from the first Busty Cops? We don’t know, but the talking llama is back, and this time there’s a CGI whale! Also in this episode: special cameos from Welshy, Film Brain, and the entire Agony Booth crew!”
Its shameless plot holes and horrific dialogue might place it firmly in the “so bad it’s good” category, but the one-eyed penis monsters led by a rubber Satan puppet push it all the way over into awesome.
Tune in for China and Yetis, whining, a complete waste of Jet Li, whining… more whining… Seriously, Alex O’Connell, would you like a little cheese with that?
It’s the tale of three cops who are busty, and also undercover, which we know because they constantly tell everyone they meet that they are undercover.
Just in time for the remake of Total Recall, we go back to the original. No, not the 1990 movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone—we’re going really old school, with a review of the short story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick.
The movie is filled with over the top acting, silly dialogue, CGI dragon battles, and Marlon Wayans. It’s often considered one of the worst movies ever made, but Cecil thinks it’s nothing but awesome.
What has: swords, sorcery, and a female lead who wears nothing but sequins and chiffon? The Mummy prequel The Scorpion King, which also handily features Actual Funny™ and lots and lots of half-naked men. She may not love it, but Ursa’s probably not going to be too disappointed in this one.
The kickoff for a trilogy, it stars Andrew Garfield as a journalist who decides to examine a possible connection between the disappearances of three young girls. What he finds is far more sinister than he ever expected. It’s a criminally underrated story of corruption, murder, and steamy sex in 1970s West Yorkshire that’s quite a gripping tale, assuming you can understand what’s being said.
In this episode, Renegado begins a retrospective of the original Spy Kids trilogy. In the first installment, Gregorio (Antonio Banderas) and Ingrid Cortez (Carla Gugino) are international spies that have to be rescued by their kids, who become spies themselves and save their parents from the silly clutches of the evil mastermind Floop (Alan Cumming).
In what could be considered a counterpoint to Mr. Mendo’s own review, Cheapus takes a look at Donnie Darko, which he happily admits has its fair share of problems (EXPLAIN YOURSELF EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE, WHY DON’T YOU), but he believes the film still has much about it to recommend.
Mendo reviews the (forgotten) sequel to the infamous Hobgoblins, and he’s joined by special guest Mikey Insanity, live and in-person. Yes, for once, Mendo’s guest is actually in the same room as him! Isn’t that nice?
In this episode: Ursa’s Three Rules for Sequels, bad CGI, character development, “The Rock”, and Too. Much. Plot. It’s The Mummy Returns, as we continue our exploration of franchises, sequels, and why we watch them!
Phil Buni watches The Signal, a low budget horror film where all cell phones, TVs, and radios begin broadcasting a mysterious “signal” that turns people into murderous psychopaths. He also looks at the shameless big-budget ripoff: Muppets from Space? Look, just watch the review, maybe it’ll make sense.
First up, Johnny looks into his own future and sees Next, the story of a low-rent Las Vegas magician who can inexplicably see two minutes into the future. Starring Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel, this is quite possibly the most poorly written movie Johnny’s ever seen.