Asperger’s is not an excuse to be an online troll

When it comes to discussing autism on the internet, there’s only one group of people who test my patience more than anti-vaccine people. I’m talking about the people who claim to have autism (factually or not) as an excuse to be jerks online.

Yeah, anti-vaxxers frustrate me, but I give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re scared, they’ve heard horror stories about vaccine injuries, they’re concerned about the information they read on package inserts, and they remember chicken pox and whooping cough through rose-colored glasses. At the end of the day, they may be misguided, but they’re often loving parents who don’t want to see their children suffer. Which is why they make me far less angry than the idiots who use autism not to voice their compassion (again, however misguided it may be), but just to get away with being internet trolls.

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I have Asperger Syndrome and high functioning autism, which was diagnosed by a professional, not by WebMD. Social awkwardness is only a part of it; I also get overwhelmed by bright lights and crowds, I have obsessive interests, disruptions in routine distress me, and I had motor control issues as a kid. That’s a lot more than a footnote I can tack onto an inflammatory internet comment.

I would never deny or question the truthfulness behind someone saying that autism made them post something rude or mean. What do I know? I’m not their physician. I do, however, make this face whenever I see this type of remark.

Asperger's is not an excuse to be an online troll

I also get suspicious, because I have a lot of friends with Asperger’s and autism, and I’ve never seen them use their condition to justify stirring the pot in online conversations. I’ve seen them use it to explain why they may not understand sarcasm or don’t like physical contact, but to borrow a phrase from Robert Oxnam, they offer it as an explanation, not an excuse. They don’t post angry comments because they can’t help it. They do it because they believe what they’re saying is important and needs to be heard (and since my friends are super-smart, it almost always is). No, they don’t always say it in the most polite way or the friendliest way, but again, they would never hide behind their condition if someone called them out on it.

When you make a dickish comment online and then blame autism for it, you’re basically admitting that what you said was wrong but you don’t have the decency to apologize for it. If I say something either on or offline and someone tells me it was rude or mean, I sometimes admit I have Asperger’s, but I still say I’m sorry and make a mental note not to say things like that in the future. Usually, I don’t even bring Asperger’s up—I just apologize and promise to do better.

Asperger’s is not a “get out of jail free” card that gives a person license to say and do whatever they want and not get reprimanded for it. Asperger’s may sometimes make it difficult to understand why something is rude or mean, but it does not stop the rest of the world from demanding that you stop behaving that way.

The reason this excuse for online trolling pisses me off so much is that, whether or not they actually have Asperger’s, the trolls get to leave their obnoxious comment where it is, get a little sympathy, walk away from their computer, and go on with their day. People like me have to live with that image being slapped onto us. I’ve had a hard time finding a job in the past (fortunately, my current employers are wonderful and understanding) because people believe that people with Asperger’s all behave the way these internet idiots behave and can’t do anything about it. I get worried and upset every time a mass murderer is labeled as having Asperger’s, because I wonder how many times this will happen before people start believing that I too have a secret murderous streak.

People, if you’re aware that what you say online is awful and hurtful to someone, grow a pair and admit that what you did was wrong. If you believe that a comment you’ve made needs to be heard and that you don’t need to apologize for it, own it. Because you invalidate the importance of whatever you’re saying by claiming that you have no control over the angry words you’re spewing. Own up to it, or own it. It’s that simple. You don’t need to use people like me as an excuse for your horrible, offensive verbal diarrhea.

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  • As someone else with aspergers, thank you.

    • rpdavies

      Same here, I also have Aspergers & if anything seem to be a magnet for trolls.

      • FullofQuestions1

        Thanks for reading, both of you. 🙂

  • I’m sure 99% of people who use that excuse don’t have this condition, and I’m sure those who have it aren’t trolls.

    • Jonathan Campbell

      Sorry, but you are missing the point of the article.

      Aspergers alone has no say in whether or not you are a troll. People who have Aspergers can absolutely be trolls- because they are people, and can be good or bad either way.

      Plenty of internet trolls who claim to have Aspergers probably don’t (whether or not they actually believe it); plenty more probably do. Aspergers affects how you interact with and understand the world, but it doesn’t have much else of a say in what kind of person you are.

      The point is that whether or not someone has Aspergers, it isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour, nor in turn is it something to raise warning signs over.

      • I didn’t miss the point of the article. My bad for not clarifying I was not replying to it, I guess. (And for forgetting this is the internet after all, as you clearly demonstrate).

        Anyway, you can’t deny there are plenty of people who will claim they have a condition to “justify” their trolling, and than doing such is pretty nasty and unfair for those who do have it.

        • Jonathan Campbell

          I didn’t deny it.

          But its problematic to assume that if someone is acting like an ass and claims to have Aspergers, then they don’t have Aspergers. Because sometimes they will.

  • Jenny Mingus

    Yeah, it seems to be an online trend to blame your assholish behavior on whatever mental illness is currently being widely discussed on the news. I can remember when it was Depression or Bipolar Disorder. For awhile it was ADHD. As someone who suffers from mental illness and has a sibling with Asperger’s, it makes me see red.

  • Ian Kacprzak

    I too have apsergers and my dad is constantly lecturing me to watch what I say so that I don’t piss people off.

  • SithSmurf

    I think that, in a nutshell, Asperger’s can lead someone to be unintentionally offensive. But if someone is called out on it and uses Asperger’s as an excuse to persist, then all unintentionality (ok, that should be a word) is no longer an issue.

    Based on my expertise in something I, um, know next to nothing about.

    Well, back to work on that Grand Unified field Theory. Hopefully it won’t require long division.

    • FullofQuestions1

      It can definitely lead to someone being unintentionally offensive. I’ve definitely gotten in trouble before for being too honest (TMI for example), not comprehending sarcasm, and the like. But as you said, for a lot of people, it’s not an excuse but a speed bump if that makes any sense- if I find out that what I said was an overreaction or TMI, I remember it and don’t say something like that next time.

  • Joseph Patrick

    Wow. Great Piece Yulia! Hopefully we can live in a day-and-age where there’s a “person-first” diagnosis on mental illness. Basically where we don’t use it as a label. Sames goes for ADHD, OCD, Schizophrenia, etc.

    Nobody blames physical illness like syphilis or having ebola for making stupid comments on the internet. So what makes Autism worth the blame?

  • I really hate it, when I see this. I have autism and like you my interest at times can be obsessive and I was actually diagnosed by a doctor as well. Asperger’s in no way should give anyone lee way to be a jerk online. People who say that are just trying to use it to justify their trolling.

  • danbreunig

    Thank you so much Yulia for putting this all in the most direct concise words possible. I’m still hazy about how to actually define Asperger’s since so many mental illnesses occasionally intertwine and just become the medical buzzword of the day–especially when they make the news because some…people milk their real or supposed illnesses to excuse their acts. A lot of the details and symptoms you described sound similar to my own (fluctuating level of OCD), and yet I’ve never used it for a crutch, nor been proud to wear it on my sleeve. I understand your point though–it’s not about those behaving negatively having the problem, it’s those using that problem as an umbrella excuse, being just a variation the same mentality of, for example, those who commit criminal acts and universally answer that it’s okay because “God wills it”. Lame excuses to back out of responsibility for personal damaging behavior. I don’t just want to repeat you point, though. I also want to say I really appreciate you writing this article and teaching through your own example. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I for one am better off with all the reviewers, yourself and a few of your other Booth colleagues, who are brave enough to talk about these issues and speak from personal experience. It doesn’t make me happy to hear, but it does make me grateful to understand, especially if I relate in some way. Thank you.

  • Sofie Liv

    Thank you Yulia.
    I whole heartedly agree so much.
    Yeah autism can be part of the explanation but is no excuse, and what use is it even if you don’t at least try to learn from it and learn from your mistakes.

    I myself also have diagnoses autistic tendencies by a profesional meaning, i’m kind of on the flipping point where it was kind of just left up to me whether I wanted to go for the full diagnosis or not, so I had the option of getting it had I so chosen.
    But I decided not to, because I feel like in my situation that is not what needs to be focused on. And though I am an awkward person in many ways, it doesn’t need to control my life or who I am, i’m always trying to learn thus always evolving.

    And whatever diagnosis people have, they always have the ability to evolve if they so choose, but the first step is to be strong enough to admit it when you are doing wrong and strong enough to try and learn from others, knowing you are not always right.

    This is really sad, because these kind of people is sending out a message that people with diagnosis don’t even want to learn or understand when the opposit is true. Most people in that situation wish they could understand better and is fighting so hard to learn though it’s very tough.

    Very honest heart felt articles, thanks Yulia, you are a wonderful wonderful person. And cute!

    Hah! That was the plan, you stopped making videos so now I am the cutest on the booth! Mwahahaha!

    • FullofQuestions1

      I haven’t exactly stopped, I’ve just taken a…long break. Hiatus, if you will.

      I would buy that you were on the spectrum, though again, I’m no doctor. And yeah, it is incredibly frustrating when people imply that someone like me would not care about hurting other people with words or with actions. Autism is one of those conditions that I don’t believe in a cure for, but I would give a lot in certain situations to be able to fit in better and pick up on social cues more. I try really hard to be socially adept, and I know a lot of other people do too.

      Thank you for saying all those nice things. 🙂 But you’ve always been the cutest. Except perhaps for Jill.

      • MichaelANovelli

        I think you’ll find the cutest person on the site is me, actually. I have the muscles that all the boys like! ^_^

      • danbreunig

        Hey ladies, let’s not debate–you’re *all* wonderful and cute.

        Really though, I’m pulling for you to keep up progress despite (or because?) the daily social obstacles. And thanks again for talking about this. Take as much time as you need before the next video.

      • Sofie Liv

        Yeah, sometimes I do think it’s a bit hard for other people to understand.

        We do life high on that notion that. “Be proud of who you are.” “Be different and proud of it.” “pride yourself of what makes you different!”

        But the truth is, that the feeling of being singled out, feeling that you are different from the people around you and thusly excluded from their life.

        It’s just horrible, it feels absolutely devastating to be singled out like that, and there are moments where you just wish so desperately that it could be different, that you could understand better, that you could be part of the group. And you wish to do better, you wish to know if you did things differently would it help? And how? What are you supposed to do?

        Trolls like these seems to just adds to the fire, and gives even more reason why people with aspergers SHOULD be singled out, the opposit of what most would want…

        I’m just a tiny bit curious now, what tipped you off that I may or may not be on the spectrum?
        No cross examination, i’m just genuinely curious.

        I don’t think you realise just how adorable you come across in your videos you’re just.. like this tiny little adorable furry mouse no one should ever stamp on, course.. to cute and tiny and careful!

        • Jonathan Campbell

          I think everyone who has natural problems with social interaction pretty much automatically falls onto the autism spectrum.

          Something people should probably understand is, the criteria for meeting something like Aspergers or Autism, or any personality type, is dependant almost entirely on outside behaviour, not on what is going on in your head, because that cannot be measured or quantified in a scientific way. This is most obvious in the term “Aspergers Syndrome”- the word “syndrome” simply means something like “symptom(s) without known cause”, meaning its any kind of behaviour that doesn’t have any obvious explanation.

          Obviously, full-blown Autistic Disorder is pretty easy to distinguish; full-blown Aspergers is harder, but it too is easy if you know what to look for (eg. literal mindedness; difficulty understanding sarcasm or jokes; highly-detailed thinking and obsessive interests….think Egon from Ghostbusters and you’re on the right track). When you start talking about Autism Spectrum and “low-level” Autism and Aspergers, then you are entering muddy waters.

          Hans Asperger was not a psychologist, at least not by profession; he was a paediatrician (for you non-English speakers, a medical doctor who works mainly with children) so when he described Aspergers Syndrome, he was talking about things professional psychologists had likely already noticed, but given different names. Its important to remember that psychology is a very, very young profession- its only the 20th century when it really takes off- yet every single personality and mental trait, style and disorder has been around since the dawn of man. So, if you meet the criteria for low-level Aspergers or Autism, if you fall on the spectrum, you also- by definition- meet the criteria for a bunch of other personality types and disorders that different schools of thought have come up with themselves – a Jungian would call you a strong Introvert, for instance; while mainstream psychology would throw around terms like Avoidant and Schizoid personality. The work of Hans Asperger didn’t really start to get noticed until the 80’s and 90’s, so Aspergers Syndrome is something that has both always existed yet only very, very recently been recognised as a distinct disorder / pattern of behaviour (and whether it deserves to be, and whether or not it is a form of autism, are both highly contested within the psychology community), hence the explosion on the Internet of people diagnosed with it, by themselves or professionally.

          But…its important not to get caught up in labels. If you are on the spectrum- as many of us here are, whether they have talked to a doctor about it or not- that’s really quite distinct from having full-blown Aspergers Syndrome or Autism. As I said all low-level Aspergers or Autism really mean is that you have natural problems (ie. it didn’t start with a trauma or anything) with social interaction. That’s….pretty much entirely all it is. Since you’ve talked about that in some of your writings and your videos (and since many of us here are in the same boat- hence, some of us spend WAY too much time on the Internet, because its easier to interact with people this way), its pretty easy to put you on the spectrum. Because its actually surprisingly easy to BE on that spectrum.

          • Sofie Liv

            Well aren’t you a mr. Smarty pants?

            Seriously though, those are some very good points.

            And yeah, i defintely had HUGE problems when it came to human interaction when I was smaller. Me and people, we did not understand each other very well.
            It has become better over time, but only because I myself decided I wanted to learn and wanted to learn how to do better.

            I had to learn how to listen, how to speak more clearly about what I actually mean, how to shut up about stuff that doesn’t interest the person in front of me, though it interests me deeply, how to signal to people I actually do want to be with them. And how to just be social in a group, or being social with just one single person my own age.

            This may sound pretty harsh but something I learned is that, I can’t just change people around me or the world around me, so I was the one whom had to change, the one whom had to grow and figure this stuff out.

            I’m still dealing with a ton of issues that came from living a childhood like there, feeling utterly alone and different from every body else.

            But I don’t think it defines me, i’m more than that now, because that’s what I fought for and gained.

            I’m pretty sure had this diagnosis been more popular when I was a kid, I would have gotten one a lot earlier instead of as an 22 year old.. yup that’s when I got the diagnosis, two years ago.

            Whether it would have made any damn difference or not though?

            … I got no clue. Teachers could be told at ones. “This person has some problems with social interactments.”
            But, they knew that already, so I don’t see how it would have changed a damn thing, it’s not like there’s just a magic pill you can take and suddenly fit in. A person still has to figure this out on his or her own.

            Syndrome or now syndrome, that’s just how it is to grow up, and life as a human being on this planet, no matter who you are.

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Yes, I am a smarty pants.

            And yep, this all sounds familiar to me. I’m pretty much in the same boat as you.

          • danbreunig

            Many of us who come here are in that same boat, myself included. Learning as you grow is a process that will never end, not to a point where you can look back and say to yourself “alright, *now* I’m complete and don’t need to learn about life anymore”. And such wisdom will hurt. Any shock to your system will. It’s like Livy says, practice, patience, and true in-your-heart desire to want to improve yourself is what does it, and if you’re fortunate and determined enough you may succeed. I learned that so long ago, and I’m still going through it today, even more so.

            Who’d imagine that a movie review site could unintentionally double as a social support group of sorts?

            Except a smarty pants, I’m not in that boat. I’m more of an eccentric than smart-alec.

          • Sofie Liv

            Surprisingly many people are in that boat huh?

            The way I see it is that well, you can either choose to learn from it.. or not.

            Feels harsh to say but, people whom hasn’t been in that situation, no they don’t know what it feels like.
            But if you choose to learn, you can gain that understanding not all people have.

            And then of course accept that other people feel that to, ones you suddenly realise that, it’s an entirely other world in front of you.

            As a kid, when I stood in it, it did feel like I was the only one, and everybody talked straight over my head never really understanding or giving me the patience I needed, the room I needed.

            Some tried to help, and it could be so well intentional, but only rarely did it actually help.

            Most of all I think I lacked people whom would merely listen to me, or stick by for longer than just a school session or one single afternoon.
            Back then it felt like i’m the only one… Then I learned, as an adult I learned that that’s far from the truth.

            And it’s an entirely new exstrordinary world.

            To some people I have apparently become a figure of inspiration, that is so weird to me!

            It makes me very happy, makes feel like I accomplished something big. But my god it’s weird.

            When people come to me and say they are touched or inspired by things I have said, the feeling I get is unbelivable, it’s still not always I can phatom that some people think like that about me.

            And I don’t know, in my real life exsperience, places where people go to do their hobbie also often becomes a support group.
            When I was a kid, the places I got to do theatre were always the places where I faired best.

            And for “Nerd groups.” even more so.

            The first group I ever fell into where I felt like there was people accepting me and listening to me was when I started playing roleplay games as a sixteen year old in a roleplay club.

            Those pen and paper players plus Larp players helped me grow and learn an whole awful lot.

            And both a smarty pants AND eccentric! :3

            I like to think of myself as the Doctor if he was a female and danish and human.

            Now there’s a question! Does the Doctor have Autism?
            Lets review shall we?
            He doesn’t understand sarcasm, he doesn’t always understand human emotions, he is an obsessive thinker about the stuff that interests him as well as totally ignorant of the stuff that doesn’t.
            He’s an eccentric smarty pants with some compulsive obsessive behaviours and only rarely has a human conversation that is not weird…. hmmm the plot thickens <_<

          • danbreunig

            True, you oftentimes find the support you need in the activities you pursue in. Then there’s the trick of finding like groups and minds in the real world.

            It’s far easier (certainly quicker) to do that today in the internet age, and at a time in social history when nerds are far more accepted, or at least tolerated. Imagine being a teen just before the Internet started–you didn’t dare breathe a word about your nerd interests, or even the more practical interests you held most dear because you’d hear no end of the ridicule from the other kids. And if you didn’t know any other kids in your school or neighborhood who were also into what you enjoyed, then that was it, forever–you would never meet anyone else. They would be on the other side of the planet for all you knew, so of course that equaled more isolation.

            The communications have improved since then–the fact I can write this very message proves that–the relating though still has to occur on a personal level. So even though technically you can reach out more, actually relating to others is a mix of both your own determination through your own will, and the pure chance that others outside may accept you. Because when you think about, you can definitely improve yourself, but that’s not all it takes–others have to allow you the space and tolerance for you to improve as well. I know I’m repeating myself now because I said the same thing in my response to Jonathon’s last comment.

            Also I find this last bit interesting:
            “I like to think of myself as the Doctor if he was a female and danish and human.”

            When I was 22 I thought as myself as a Steppenwolf–Hermann Hesse was my favorite author then and I *strongly* related to him and his characters when I was reading him then, while trying to figure out my own self.

            And coincidentally I already had a fanart idea about who I’d picture as the first female human Next Doctor:

            Ursa.

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Well, I was born with wisdom and I’ve only gotten wiser- cause, you know, smarty pants (self-considered) genius and all.

            Also happen to be slightly eccentric. All being well, I imagine myself as Gandalf / Yoda / Dumbeldore in my old age, personality wise at least.

            Having wisdom isn’t my problem- I’ve long had a good idea of what I needed (confidence, action, drive etc.). The problem is actually DOING stuff.

            (also, by Livy do you mean the Roman historian, or the Dorky Dane? Because if its the former you probably need to specify around here more clearly).

          • danbreunig

            That’s great to know. I hope I don’t sound flippant or sarcastic there, I mean it. It’s really great to know when there’s so much you don’t know, or at least know yourself and the world around you so well that you can function between them proficiently.

            Although a really big factor in life progress isn’t just based on personal knowledge or wisdom–it’s based on what you said, having the drive to improve. Even then, much or even most of your progress is based on when others in the world around you allow you to. You have to make the first move to want to get better, but it doesn’t end there. Others must accept your efforts as well. Because of wherever in life you get ahead, it’s really because of someone else letting you.

            I mean the resident Dorky Dane of course–I’m sure she’s a more familiar face on here than a Roman figure. Plus I’m more familiar with Pliny the Younger.

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Well this is the downside of being a smarty pants- you see Roman scholarship in place of Danish wisdom. My bad.

            No, of course you don’t sound flippant. Don’t worry about that.

            As for personal wisdom, I get too pre-occupied with that to be honest. What I really need is a kick up the backside. Nobody is getting in my way; the problem is getting on with doing things I want to do.

            Not that I’m not making progress, but I’m much more tortoise than hare.

  • Richard Eriksson Hjelm

    agreed

  • Sardu

    [Grumpy Old Man]
    When I was a boy we didn’t have all this “ass burgers” and “autism scale”. We just knew knew some kids were dicks and others were weird. I was weird, and looking back on it, I think I was a dick too. I was convinced no one liked me, and no one liked my friends (who all liked me but apparently I didn’t think about that). So I did my best to give people a reason not to like me so that I would understand why they didn’t like me. This also applied to girls, as is the subject of the other flaming topic of late. I actually think I had the potential to have become a seriously antisocial misogynist misanthropic screwup, but one day I realized I WANTED people to like me, and I wanted to like them, and maybe if I just adjusted my behaviour a little I could achieve that. And I did. Mostly. *g* Anyway…

    What were we talking about?

    Oh yeah. You have to learn to live in society, generally speaking. Everyone has a hang up, everyone has obstacles. Society doesn’t care if you have a medical condition. get medecine. Get counseling. If you’re too far gone for that, you may have to stay home. Sorry. The Interwebz is a community, and it’s absolutely true, Aspergers or not if you can’t function as a civil member you just have to go do something else. Spot on Miss Questions, Full Of.

    Isn’t interesting that almost everyone who has commented has basically said that they are or consider themselves somewhere on that scale? We seem to be doing ok *g*

    • Sofie Liv

      Sometimes there are people whom is psykologicaly bad enough that there litterately is no control they can handle.
      Sometimes there are people whom simply don’t have the abilities to see they are wrong.

      How-ever these people are indeed, sick. And in those instances it is that we as a society in real life need to stand up and grant them help.
      They can not exspect us on the enternet to deal with that kind of thing, it’s a second based forum, we can’t know what kind of people they are or why they behave like that, it’s not our issues to deal with.
      However personal responsiblity comes to play in real life, where we each have a responsibility to just look around, see if anyone is behaving oddly like that, and then get them help, real help.

      I’ve seen people being pressured and driven to extreme lenghts, so great lenghts they couldn’t even control their own emotions or actions.
      I’ve tried on my own body how it is to not even be able to control your own reactions and emotions, however I also know it’s NOT the enternet that can fix those problems, that is NOT the place to go with these kinds of things.
      Those people need real help, real doctors, real psykiatrists, real people, not just words on a screen.

      And they need to make the concious choice to want to better themselves, a person whom don’t want to get better can’t be helped, sadly, and then we just need to leave it to them.

      To say aspergers is the reason they can’t control themselves and that’s that, is kind of refusing to better themselves and refusing to even try to be better people.
      There’s sadly little we can do about it, they are the ones that need to make the choice, but we shouldn’t let them get away with it that easily.
      people can change if they so choose, and these people need to realise that they also have a personal responsibility to the people around them, it goes both ways.

  • David F White

    I loved to be touched!!! I love hugs!! MY need for affection often gets me into trouble!! I am eccentric to a fault!! I love being different!! IT often hurts, but I don’t mean offend anyone!!

    • FullofQuestions1

      *hug*

  • What Sensei (Sofie Liv) and danbreunig said.

    • danbreunig

      Thanks, Professor. And credit most of all to Yulia (Full Of Questions).

  • Graeme Cree

    I’ve never heard anyone use this an excuse, but if I did, my response would be something along the lines of “What you’re saying is that I should never take you seriously. Are you sure you want to say that?”

  • If you know that what you’re saying needs an excuse, you know that you shouldn’t say it.

    When I was younger, I was an asshole online. Not a troll, but somebody who honestly did not give a shit whether or not someone was offended by what I said. A good portion of this was that I simply get it – why being offended by something would be bad. Some say this is probably due to me having Asperger’s, though I have never been diagnosed. That never mattered to me. It made me feel a little better when I realized that my symptoms weren’t unique to me, but that never mattered because when I said something, I still owned up to it. When I learned something was offensive, why it was offensive, and what that meant, I had – HAVE a choice: say it, and deal with the consequences like somebody mature enough to use the internet, or don’t.

    The point of this is that what I initially said stands: if you know enough about what you’re saying to get defensive about it, then you know to either face the consequences or not say it. If I throw a dart and hit someone in the head instead of hitting the dartboard and I say “my vision is bad”, they don’t just shrug and clean up the blood. They know that I knew my vision was bad and would affect my dart-throwing before I injured them.

  • Self-diagnosed assholes like those you mentioned is the reason why the term Ass-Burgers was invented in the first place.

    • Chris Hedrick

      When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t see the word, so I actually assumed it was supposed to sound like “Ass-Burgers.” I was SO much happier when I learned it was a P, not a B.

      • FullofQuestions1

        Haha, yeah. I once had a doctor spell it that way on a paper (Asberger’s). Yikes!

        • Chris Palmer

          I have Asperger’s, had the MMR vaccination and spent several days trolling WND. None of those facts have anything to do with each other. And can I hate Sugar Motta sight unseen?

      • Ass-Burgers was originally just a mispronunciation meme like Diabetus but these days, Ass-Burgers is primarily used to differentiate those self-diagnosing asshats from the real sufferers of Aspergers.

        • Jonathan Campbell

          Thing is, some or many of these people probably DO actually have Aspergers.
          The point of this article isn’t that nobody who has Aspergers would act like an asshole; its that if you are an asshole with Aspergers that has nothing to do with your Aspergers, at least not directly.

          That’s actually kindof important, because if someone comes across as insensitive or rude on the Internet- whether they realize it or not- and they say they have Aspergers, it can be too easy to dismiss them. And sometimes, having Aspergers can make legitimately bad tendencies worse, because it often comes with feelings of isolation and being obsessively set in your ways.

          Basically, most people who claim to have Aspergers on the Internet probably aren’t faking it, or shouldn’t be dismissed as such. Even if they are self-diagnosed, I would think it pretty unusual for anyone who goes out of there way to diagnose themselves with something like that to not be at least on the Autism spectrum.

          Also, most people who self-diagnose don’t go around trolling people either.
          People who have Aspergers or are on the spectrum aren’t saints or innocent victims or anything like that; as far as ethics and responsibility and most non-autistic traits things go they are NORMAL, and thus like everyone else can be good or bad or anything in-between. It shouldn’t be used as an excuse for bad behaviour- especially if you are merely pretending to have it-, but nor should you assume that nobody on the spectrum would act like an asshat, or that being self-diagnosed or acting like an asshat automatically makes you a phony or a fake.

          • FullofQuestions1

            Well said, man.

  • My videos are giving people autism all the time. Or so I’m told.

    I don’t think it’s contagious, and I don’t think I am. So they ought to be doubly safe…

  • If only there was a vaccine to prevent autism…

    • FullofQuestions1

      Haha! I wonder how anti vaxxers would react if you told them that. Maybe they’d decide that they canceled out.

    • CDF-CRO

      The anti-vaxxers are kind of depressing. The message I get from them is they’d rather risk their children dying than raise autistic kids.

      • FullofQuestions1

        Based on some of the posts I’ve read, they seem to think that the vaccines don’t actually work, and so they’re just a fake medicine that causes autism because pharmaceutical companies are that desperate for money…and it’s a global conspiracy of all medical schools, all doctors. And that I’m a pharma shill getting paid tons of money to write this to you (yeah, I wish).

        • CDF-CRO

          You’re a pharma shill eh? Then the pharmaceutical companies really have all bases covered by bribing a humble internet personality. A global conspiracy depending upon the cooperation of millions of professionals? Can I join the conspiracy and make a little money?

          Don’t they remember that the guy who started this whole mess, Andrew Wakefield was trying to discredit the MMR vaccine because he had financial investments in alternative forms of medicine. He was exposed for fraud and discredited but it didn’t matter.

          He planted the idea in people’s heads and Jenny McCarthy took up the mantle and rolled with it.

          Why do people listen to her? She’s not even a real doctor.

          • FullofQuestions1

            My guess is because of the way she carries herself and because of her personal story. We can’t relate to doctors the same way we can relate to a mother’s heartfelt account. She also comes off as confident, and like she knows her stuff (even though, holy crap, she doesn’t.)

          • FullofQuestions1

            I’m sorry if that sounded dumb, I’m running on two hours of sleep right now.

          • CDF-CRO

            Oh don’t worry it didn’t sound dumb, it made perfect sense,

            Besides I sound dumb even when I get a full night’s sleep!

        • chromesthesia

          Can someone tell big pharma to hire me? They just need to pay my student loans and credit card bills. It will be a walk in the park to them!

    • chromesthesia

      Prevent autism? Why? I don’t want to be prevented. I like my brain.

  • Faulkner

    Speaking from personal experience as a sufferer of Aspergers (albeit self-diagnosed) and as someone who’s occasionally been accused of being an internet troll, I never really used Aspergers as an excuse for my behavior.

    The reason I say what I say is because I firmly believe it or know it to be true. I know certain truths are socially unacceptable to speak, but here’s the thing, I’ve already completely given up on trying to fit into society, so I just don’t care anymore. That’s where my Aspergers comes in.

    As a male (and yes, that’s an important distinction) sufferer of Aspergers, all throughout my life, society has been making demands of me that I simply cannot fulfill. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. If I was just being myself, everyone accused me of being a cold, uncaring asshole and they rejected me for it. If I tried to fit in, everyone accused of being a creepy, unnatural, false asshole. After a while I just said fuck it, if they’re gonna reject me either way, I’m just gonna go back to being myself. At least that way I don’t have to pretend.

    And yes, being rejected by society does bother me. Probably not as much as it would a normal person, but it bothers me. However, it seems pretty clear to me at this point that there’s really nothing I can do about it.

    • CDF-CRO

      Self-diagnosed isn’t good enough. If you want to say you have Aspergers you’re going to have to have it in paper from a qualified doctor.

      C’mon, see a Doctor and get a proper diagnosis. You might be surprised to find you don’t have Aspergers at all but rather something different. It happens.

      Whatever you have, with a doctor’s diagnosis you can receive the proper treatment to make life a little easier,seeing a shrink or going to a support group, getting the right medicine to calm panic attacks and so forth.

      • Sofie Liv

        Humility also helps a great deal if people wants to be accepted.

        Humilty, a willingless to learn and listen instead of making everything about yourself.
        And empathy or at least trying to have empathy that helps to.

        Lecturing without even trying to listen and understand other peoples behaviour nor feelings will make ANYONE appear as a cold asshole no one wants to bother with.
        No matter diagnosis, gender, other personality traits and all else.

        plain and simple.

        You are creating your own black hole and hell by being the asshole
        and not even trying to do better or lear, develop or understand.

        Faulkner, things wont ever get better before you yourself stop playing the victim and own up to yourself, then try to learn and evolve as a person.

        It’s difficult, it’s tough, and for some it requires profesional help, but it can be done.

        All though ONLY if you yourself is willing to go for it with all that you got.

        Until you do people will keep calling you “A troll on occasion.” because you are displaying definit troll behaviour which is solely aimed at getting other people down, having a one sided conversation which is not about trying to find about understanding. Only about shouting without listening or even attempting to understand.

        • CaptainCalvinCat

          Basically, this boils down to “be a decent human being”, right?
          That’s what at least I expect from other people and basically from me, too. Sure, we all have our moments of asshole-behaviour, sure we do, and sometimes one gets carried away, but most of the time one should try to be a decent human being.

        • Faulkner

          Listen to what exactly? The only counter-arguments I’ve heard people use against me here are those claiming I’m wrong because what I’m saying is impolite or politically incorrect, but that’s not a valid counter-argument. Ok, I get it, what I said is horrible, despicable, and completely antisocial… fine, you can reject me for that, if you like. But you cannot reject the argument.

          • somerandomcommenter

            Why are you looking for an argument? The funny thing is, we’d love to have you as a contributing member of this community. We’d love to talk to you about movies and video games and make snarky comments together about all the stuff we have in common.

            You probably feel pretty alone in your real life, but you’re not alone. Not here. Everyone here has faced rejection, has at one point or another tried being someone they’re not, has felt like they had to give up a part of who they are to fit in with society’s standards. It’s a very human thing, just not one a lot of people talk about. We’re all alone together.

          • Faulkner

            Funny thing is I’ve been watching the stuff on this website for years now and I never really got into any arguments before. As a social outcast, I don’t really have much going for me irl, so websites like this provided me with some much-needed refuge from my problems. Now I see the very same people who made me in outcast in society coming here to hound me. Feminists, social-justice warriors, the PC police…

            I come here to get away from these fuckers, now they’re spreading their poison here too? How am I supposed to react to that exactly?

          • somerandomcommenter

            Um…leave?

          • Sofie Liv

            Stop insisting upon being the victim and go do something constructive.

            When you don’t care let other people mind their own buisness bloody buisness, take responsibility for your words and actions.

            When being called names you always have a choice.
            The choice of how to react! Are we going to give the namer callers and bullies even more power by becoming the victim they want you to be.
            Or stay the high ground by not giving in and maintaining the high ground, not reacting and not falling in and be above their behaviour.

            Just because other people are dumb doesn’t mean you have to, everybody has the possibility of choosing to be above that as a person.

            No we can’t fix the world, we can’t fix other people, that’s impossible!
            But we can choose to be the better person ourselves and stay on the high ground, we can all choose to be the example by just BEING.

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Think you replied to the wrong person there, Sofie.

          • Sofie Liv

            I don’t know.. honestly i’m just tired right now.

            I got a lot of crap in my own life to deal with right now, which really puts it into perspective how unimportant this stuff is.

            You know how I feel about Gamergate right now? … I don’t care.

            Yup, that’s my feeling about it right now, I don’t care.

            I got other more pressing problems to deal with right now.

          • somerandomcommenter

            That’s okay.

            I hope you guys don’t mind me sharing my story here. I know it probably won’t help Faulkner, but it might help someone else, so who knows?

            I was always the geeky, nerdy kid. My teachers thought I was stupid because I didn’t ever talk in class, even though my grades reflected otherwise. In middle and high school, I was bullied constantly because I was sky, awkward, and effeminate (I don’t think it surprised anyone when I came out, years later). Kids would push me down stairs and follow me home from school to harass me. I thought I was the only one who had to deal with that sort of thing, and so I told myself they were bullying me because they could sense how superior I was to them, that they were threatened by my intelligence and maturity.

            I was pretty miserable, but at least I had an excuse for why all this was happening to me. I tried to commit suicide. Two times. Nothing serious, like, I didn’t end up in the hospital or anything. In fact, I don’t think my parents even ever found out about it.

            But then I got a scholarship and went to college. And I made friends. I wasn’t especially open or friendly or anything, but some people thought I was very interesting because I would sit and listen to them tell me about their problems for hours on end without interrupting. I found that the key to being “interesting” is being “interested” in other people.

            And these were kids who were at least as smart as me, if not smarter. It was a bit of a blow to my ego to learn that I wasn’t as special as I thought I was, but at the same time it was very liberating. I was much more open to what people had to say. And if I’d never learned to accept criticism (about myself, about my writing), I wouldn’t have the job I have today.

            I now make my living as a moderately successful erotic novel writer. The job includes lots of research. Part of it is watching porn (yes, I get paid to watch porn, and yes, it’s about as awesome as it sounds), but part of it is also interviewing women, oftentimes quite candidly, about what they find attractive in a partner. I can tell you, from speaking to numerous women, that nothing Faulkner says is true. Okay, to most women, looks do matter, but how many books do you think I’d sell if I just slapped on some attractive descriptions of a guy and left his personality completely blank? (Please, no Stephanie Meyers jokes. An angel cries every time someone buys one of her books.)

            I’ve been a longtime lurker on this website, but I felt I finally had to respond to Faulkner because I saw a person who lacks all sense of self-awareness, and I see the person I was when I was younger. Mocking him is only going to make him more and more sure of his superiority to us. And I use “us” because no matter what Faulkner says, I’ve been out in the real world, interacted with real people, and I know that most people don’t hold these views. In fact, most people are kind and good.

          • FullofQuestions1

            “Please, no Stephanie Meyers jokes. An angel cries every time someone buys one of her books.” AHHHH! Twilight created the Weeping Angels!

            In all seriousness, thanks for being so open and honest about this, it can’t have been easy. I’ve been scared to approach this thread, because I didn’t know where to start, but thanks for putting so eloquently what I’ve wanted to put. I’m a woman who is attracted to both men and women. Personality is the very first thing I look for.

            Faulkner, I don’t want you to feel attacked by me, but I don’t want my friends to feel attacked either (which is what you have been doing with your words about Sofie and Magdalen). I know you feel like you’re only stating facts, but the way you’re stating them will not make people feel inclined to listen to you.

          • somerandomcommenter

            I’m actually bi, just with a very strong leaning towards men.

            I still struggle with depression a lot, but sites like these help get me out of my darkest places. I really enjoyed this article and hope to see more from you.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Plus – and this is just me – those “facts”, he’s stating, aren’t that scientifically sound.

          • chromesthesia

            I dig intelligence and personality. But I also find dealing with people to be frustrating.

          • Faulkner

            I can tell just by reading your reply that you either haven’t been attention to anything I’ve said before or it flew right over your head. Oh, well, can’t say I’m not used to that by now…

            If you’re an erotic novelist, you must not be a very good one. Here’s the first rule of writing erotic fiction for women: disregard everything you’ve ever heard women say (well, almost everything).

            Say what you want about Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey. And yeah, there’s no denying they are shit books with horrible writing and even worse characters… but there’s also no denying they struck a cord with a large part of the female population, otherwise they wouldn’t have sold the way they did (I can guaran-damn-tee you that men aren’t buying that shit).

            Look at the male protagonists of these books, look at Edward Cullen and Christian Grey. See of how they’re written. They’re ridiculously good-looking, obviously, but that’s a given… besides their looks, what do they have? Well, money, for starters… both Cullen and Grey are fabulously rich, the former implicitly, the latter explicitly. What about their personalities? Both are incredibly controlling and domineering, to an unhealthy level really. They’re not necessarily unkind or cruel, and they’re very protective of their female counterpart, but they’re certainly not gentle. They’re not even particularly respectful towards them. Oh, and the icing on the cake? They’re also completely sallow and humourless, which should really tell you all you need to know about how complete and utter rubbish the idea that women like funny men is.

            Of course no woman is gonna come out and admit that this is the type of man she really desires, but that’s only because society tells her that’s not the type of men she should desire. It’s true that women lie, they lie A LOT, but I honestly don’t think they do it just for the sake of lying. I think they do it to fit in. Women are very susceptible to social pressures, much more so than men. Women will go through great lenghts just to gain approval from the society they live in. But the truth is it really doesn’t matter how much society tells them they should like nice guys and funny guys, or how much they tell it to themselves… they just don’t. They don’t, they never did and they never will. They’re just not wired to be attracted to humor or gentleness in men, they’re wired to be attracted to other things.

          • somerandomcommenter

            You’re right. I bow to your superior experience with women. Obviously a shut-in who only hears these things vicariously, and who admittedly doesn’t have anything going on “irl,” would be the go-to person for these sorts of things. You’ve convinced me. I’m going to start hating women. Right now. Right this minute. I’m going to call my best friend up right now as tell that “bitch harpy” that she’s a “bitch harpy” and a liar. Thank you, good sir, for opening my eyes.

            In all seriousness, though, I won’t be engaging you anymore. I’ll leave you with this bit: Please don’t hurt yourself. Please don’t hurt anyone else. If you find the strength to get help, you’ll find support. Here and other places.

            Peace.

          • somerandomcommenter

            PS. I’m glad you think I’m an erotic novelist. I’ve never thought of myself as particularly erotic, but I do try.

          • Sofie Liv

            How do you become a erotic novel writer?! That seems like a SWEET job deal.

            Also sounds like fun <_<

          • MichaelANovelli

            My ex-wife and I tried to break into that business, once, but those publishers have even stricter guidelines than people who specialize in “pro-women fantasy”.

            I mean, come on, “We only publish novels about people in committed three person relationships who never cheat on each other?” How puritanical can you get?

          • CDF-CRO

            What about the Dino Porn? That seems to be a hit, and of course I think there was a novelist bragging about how writing Bigfoot porn was paying her kids through college.

          • MichaelANovelli

            Well, yeah, but they self-publish…

          • somerandomcommenter

            Publishers be cray-cray. But recently, and especially with the advent of self-publishing, you see publishers like Harlequin, Avon, etc. going for more niche markets like menage, m/m, f/m/m, (not so much f/f, which kinda bums me out), femdom, bdsm, etc. So in a way, I guess we can thank 50 Shades for opening markets to us.

            Also, if you’re reading this, thanks for scrawling through that whole wall o’ text.

          • somerandomcommenter

            *scrolling* derp.

          • MichaelANovelli

            You gotta eat the costs upfront, though…

          • somerandomcommenter

            Aw, naw. You pay for a copyedit (I do my own), and pay for a cover (also do my own, shill out $20 for a stock image, use Book Cover Pro for design) and you’re good to go. I recommend checking out KDP through Amazon. It’s fast and easy, and if you get a following, Amazon will pick you up through one of their imprints (their romance division is Montelake.)

            I work with a guy who got picked up that way, and for his very first book, they put him in the same imprint that carries Neil Gaiman. Granted, it’s a crapshoot, but I’d definitely read you’re stuff if you put it up. And you’ve got a built-in audience here on this website.

          • Sofie Liv

            Haha! I’ll keep all of that in mind.

            Perhaps one day i’ll try to write some nasty nasty errotic novel filled with all the goodies, just to see what the heck would come out of it. I’m just curious.

            I hear Yaoi is a BIG marked in Japan! ….. in fact I know it is.. it has already spread to the western world.
            I got a friend.. she has a collection… yeah.

            Okay here’s my concept! The grim reaper is actually a hunky glittering man, he falls in love with the girl he’s supposed to reap and thusly give her superpowers to fight the dead, together they go on adventures fighting underworld (Fantastic looking.) demons, whom all has a crush on this girl, angels, vampires and zombies!
            IT’S A TOTAL WINNER! …. huh, I might write that actually…

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Pff. Another Twilight rip-off, then?

          • danbreunig

            Death Takes A Holiday–with zombies!
            There may be something though with a handsomely buff Grim Reaper.

            Come to think of it–
            “they go on adventures fighting underworld (Fantastic looking.) demons, whom all has a crush on this girl”

            Yep, another Twilight.

          • Sofie Liv

            Of course it is! I’m going for the BIG bucks here, I have no money and I got no shame!

            Except my novel will know exactly what it is, not pretending otherwise, thusly be incredible self indulging!

            There’ll be a sexy vampire whom is obsessively romanticly persuing my grim reaper lead (something for the yaoi fan girls to bite into.)

            My female lead will become a master with her magic sword which is the only thing that can cut down the dead.

            There’ll be a nerdy ghost following her around proclaiming his love for her (Mostly because she’s the only woman whom is not dead whom can actually see him.)

            And she’ll brush him off with snarky comments.

            When she chucks down those demons it’ll be heads rolling around! And they’ll call her “The Afrodite slayer.” because she’s just that sexy walking around with her sword <_<

            UH! And in the underworld the river styx is what cover the most of the land, so it's being sailed by a whole bunch of demon pirate ships! Whom has each their gang, if you sail to far to the north you would risk sailing into Davy Jones's locker as he's the most powerful demon pirate.
            But still just a demon, not as powerful as the more devine beings.

          • danbreunig

            Something tells me that this was waiting in the wings for years.

          • Sofie Liv

            Actually no, i’m just spitting out randomn bullshit.

            If there’s something that has always been true about me and my brain it is that I have always been highly creative.
            You just need to throw me a stick of some kind and I can run with it immediatly.

            I’m very good at improvisation theatre and writing challenges, spend lots of my childhood on stuff like that.

            As it happens though, being creative and being able to just make up bullshit immediatly on the spot is one thing.
            Actually picking an idea and stick to it for the time it takes to make something worthwhile… that’s another matter <_<

            I can also tell old school stories on the spot! I'm proud to call myself a true story teller X)

          • chromesthesia

            I just thought of an idea for a vampire story. I doubt it will sell. It will involve an African American slave and she will take down a group of vampires. oooo I hope it will be good. And no sparkling and the vampires will have FANGS. Fangs are cool! And I like how they’re going to make new vampires. I need to novel instead of arguing with trolls.

          • Dave Het

            OMG, you’re like me 🙂

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Team Chez Apocalypse have already done something like this.

            …..

            Yours sounds better though.

          • MichaelANovelli

            I think you could sell it. Reaper erotica is actually a surprisingly big sub-genre in America.

          • Faulkner

            You’re not engaging me anymore because you got nothing else to say because you know you’ve just been shown to be wrong. Fine then, run away with your tail between your legs then as I’m sure you’re used to by now, little man.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Are you working in a bookstore? Because if not, why are you garanteeing, that only women buy this book? Maybe they don’t want to talk about it, because it is that much marketed at women, but if a guy is saying “hm, I want to know, what is so alluring about that?” maybe he will buy the book, in order to find out.

          • Faulkner

            I’m not in the mood, Galahad. Fuck off.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Ah, you’re repeating what your imaginary girlfriend told you this morning. ^^ Or was it your right hand?

          • Faulkner

            I’ve lost my patience with you. You are my lesser and not even fit to shine my shoes, you already had your share fun, hanging out your betters for a little while but now I’m done.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            You’re done? “FREUDE SCHÖNER GÖTTERFUNKEN, TOCHTER AUS ELYYSIUM” – does that mean, that you’ll go back under that rock, you’ll once crawled from and will stop annoying us?

          • Faulkner

            Yawn. You bore, little Kraut mangina.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Still here? I thought you would be gone by now.

          • Faulkner

            Alright, little mangina. You’ve gone and done it, you’ve pissed me off. I was going to ignore you before, but now I’m not. I’m not going anywhere. You want to shut me up? You’re gonna have to outlast me. Are you ready to spend the rest of the day going back and forth with me for 100s of posts like you did last time, only to still lose out in the end (again, like you did last time)?

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Uhhhhhhhhhh, I’m SO afraid of you. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – or spoken in a way, you’ll understand: Faulkner, be gone. Nobody is gonna miss you.

          • Faulkner

            You’re on, virgin boy. Let’s dance. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Okay, who’s leading? And what are we dancing? Waltzer? Cha-cha-cha? Rhumba?

          • Faulkner

            Maybe it should be me. No offense, but I don’t think a little mangina like you knows much about “leading” anything… 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Ain’t that cute. And maybe, juuust maybe you should not think with your dick that much – in especially, when there is not that much to think with. 😉

          • Faulkner

            At least my dick is being put to use. Too bad you can’t say the same, heh, virgin boy? 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. What? Did you say anything worth noting? Oh, no, still the same bullshit as the other day.

          • Faulkner

            Lol, why should I bother coming up with anything new? I can say whatever I want and you’ll still reply to me. Plus, it’s still true, right? 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Because Mr. “I’m the impersonation of the people, Questions was writing about in her article, since I’m SAYING, that I have Aspergers, but I just use that as a crutch in order to be an annoying asshole-troll on the internet”, at least that would show creativity.

            And no, I’m not gonna go 12 rounds – I have better things to do. You, strangely, Mr “I have sex whenever I want” don’t.

          • Faulkner

            And why, pray tell, should I waste something as precious as creativity on one of my lessers, huh? 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Because you don’t even know, what creativity is. And that, Mr. Cool-aid-man, makes ME your “better”, because I AM creative!

          • Faulkner

            You’re creative? Lol, you could’ve fooled me, virgin boy! xD

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Well, let’s see, I’m writing, I’m photographing, so – yes, I consider myself at least a tadbit creative.

          • Faulkner

            My 7-year-old cousin can write and take pictures with her camera too, doesn’t mean she’s creative. Try again, virgin boy.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Well, does your 7-year-old cousin write a story worth several thousand pages?

          • Faulkner

            She did, it’s called “The White Knight and the Frigid Princess”. I think you’ll really like it. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Oh, I read it – you were the bad-guy bastard in that piece right?

          • Faulkner

            I was also the one who got the girl in the end. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Oh, you mean the version of the book, you made up yourself. No, you were the one, who was trampled to death and then shat upon.

          • Faulkner

            No, I mean in the true story. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Ah, that one. Where he got the girl…. yeah… you failed to mention, that you needed to chloroform her, because she didn’t want to touch you willingly.

          • Faulkner

            Because she didn’t want touch me willingly? Those are big words coming from someone who hasn’t been touched at all, willingly or not. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Ah, so you’re saying, you’re better than me, because you FORCE yourself on women, in contrast to me, who is respecting them. I see, how you are so much better than me…

          • Faulkner

            What? Force myself on women? You’re delusional, virgin boy. Get help… or better yet, get laid, because that’s what you really need. 😉

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Yes, FORCING yourself on women. Because, that is, what you are saying since the first time, you spouted your bullshit all over that place.
            You’re pro-rape and you’re not even seeing that or you don’t want to see it.

          • Faulkner

            Dude, seriously, just take the money grandma and grandpa gave you for the trips you never made with the friends you never had and head to the local whorehouse ASAP. Lack of sex is making you delusional.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Aaaaaaand you’re getting aggressive. Must’ve hit a nerve there.

          • Faulkner

            What? Agressive? What are you talking about? You know, in some ways I suppose should thank you. If someone ever asks me to show how lack of sex affects men, I can just point them to this conversation. It’s like you’re literally reading something completely different from what I’m writing.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Good idea – point at this discussion and at the bullshit, that you are writing. And – then show your non-existing friends this pearl, you wrote yourself:

            If women don’t understand this and start fulfilling their duty to
            society, you know what’s gonna happen? More and more of these beta,
            techie type males are gonna go without sex, they’re gonna become angry
            and because they’re simply too important to the functioning of society,
            they’ll have to be appeased.”

            That is so much bullshit in one little paragraph, it’s laughable.

          • Faulkner

            Yup, I aid that, and it’s 100% true. Does that mean I advocate rape? No. If you had actually bothered to read the entire, you’d see how I predicted society would deal with this problem, and it wasn’t by legalizng rape, or anything stupid. So get over yourself.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Sorry, that is bullshit.

            So, some “beta techie type males” don’t have sex. And? What’s wrong with that?

          • Faulkner

            Sorry, even I am not willing to dignify that with an answer. You know what’s wrong and you know why it’s problem, and I’m telling you now that sooner or later it’ll have to be addressed. And I think even you and your feminazi overlords… huh, pardon me, your feminazi overladies, know this on some level.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            So, you don’t HAVE an answer. Some people don’t have sex. Yeah, big deal. Alert the media.

            In other news: Rain is wet, sun is hot, concrete is hard.

          • Faulkner

            Yes, some people don’t have sex, I mean just look at you. But as I’ve said before, sex to men is a need. They can’t function well without it. When the number of men being forced to go without sex starts to rise, so do problems in society.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Hm…. true, I don’t have sex. But… *looks at the mirror, looks at his writing, looks at his arguments* I function. Who is so desperately seeking pussy, that he is predicting, that in order to appeasing 50 % of this planets population will be forced to have sex with the other 50 % of this planets population?

            Who is slinging insults at other people, who is spin doctoring his own worldview that often, that it’s getting dizzy?

            Who is using buzzwords like “feminazi”?

            Oh, right – that’s you, the one, who’s proudly saying, that he got laid. What does that tell us?

          • Faulkner

            Like I just did, I’m not really willing to dignify that with an answer. For the record, you don’t really seem all that functional tome. And the only person you might fooling by claiming you are is yourself, and even stupid people can’t be fooled forever.

            To answer your other question though. Who is desperately looking for sex? Men who aren’t having it, because they need it. Some are just more honest about it than others.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            I give you that – your train of thought is one hell of a bad pick-up line: “Hey, do you know, that I as man am an important member of the society and that in order to keep me functioning, I need sex – today I choose you and if you care at least ONE bit for this society, we’re living in and that is sheltering you, you better spread your legs and let me in. Close your eyes and think of england…”

          • Faulkner

            The truth is often unpleasant to state and even more unpleasant to hear, I’ll give you that. But it is the truth nonetheless. That’s the way things worked before, and if women don’t change their attitude and start doing their part, that’s what they’ll go back to.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Okay, now that we worked out your theory…
            Where are the proves? Where are the proves, that a males brain deteriorates, if he doesn’t get laid – and where are the proves, that a woman does not need sex in order to survive.

            And – to make it more difficult to you, because I know, what will be your first line of argumentation: Don’t go the simple route and say “You’re the example”, because in your view, I might be, but in my view, I’m not.

            It is really easy to say “You just don’t want to see the truth” – I’m giving you the chance: prove it.

          • Faulkner

            Look around you, you idiot. Look at the incels, the PUA community, the poor desperate sodswho break down go on a shooting rampage. Fuck it, look at yourself.

            You think these things came out of nowhere? I’m sorry, but you simply cannot have 20% of the men getting all the women, while the top of remaining 80% only get their leftovers and the rest get nothing at all. This situation is simply not sustainable. And you know it, you may not want to see the truth, but I know you see it.

            We wera able to abolish slavery because men were willing to do the things they needed to do willingly even when they didn’t want to, without being forced. If women cannot do the same, then we can’t have women’s rights. Simple as that.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            20 % of the men getting all the women?

            Okay, – sources? Where are your sources for your claims?

          • Faulkner

            Yawn. Look around for the info if you like. I’m not here to educate you. I’m just here to outlast you, remember?

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            *shrugs* So, let me get this straight.

            You don’t have ANY sources to back up your outrageous claims, other than your word – so, in one word, you’re making stuff up as you see it fit.

            Okay.

          • Faulkner

            Look, if I’m wrong then you have nothing to fear. What I talked about won’t happen until the number of males who play instrumental roles in modern society being forced to go without sex rises past a certain point. So if you don’t think I’m telling the truth, why does it bother you?

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            It bothers me, because – basically if there is one person, who believes that, then there are other persons, who think, that women are nothing more and nothing less then our personal toys.

          • Faulkner

            Again, lack of sex is making you delusional. I never claimed such a thing. Everyone is objectified, society only cares about what people can do and what they have to offer to it. Personally speaking, I’d much rather be objectified in the way women are than in the way I am.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Again, you start to insult.

            And by the way – isn’t that wrong, that everyone is objectified? Shouldn’t the person count more as an individuum, opposed to, say as a workforce?

          • Faulkner

            How am I insulting you?

            To answer your question, perhaps. But things are what they are, they’re what not what they should be. And this is how they are.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Does saying, that I’m “delusional” not count as an insult, where you come from?

            So, if things are how they are, shouldn’t there be some change towards how they SHOULD be? Where people are counting as individuum, not just as a “collective”?
            (Insert obvious borg-joke here)

          • Faulkner

            Not if it’s true. You keep claiming I said things I never said. What am I supposed to call that?

            I can quote my answer to your last question almost verbatim to answer this one. Should there be some change in society and how it perceives its members? Perhaps. Will there be any such change? No. Because that’s just the way things are.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            In your case: Extreme divergence between self-awareness and external perception. You’re not saying – true. You’re implying.

            Anyway, I’m off, it was fun. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a feminist, I’ll still disagree with you, when you write something, I cannot agree with, but if you want the pot, you can have it.

            Ich habe keinen Bock mehr. (It’s not fun anymore).

          • Faulkner

            As you wish, young virgin. Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson about not standing up to your betters. Auf wiedersehen.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Well, it is more that my so called “Betters” have nothing to contribute. That’s downright boring.

          • Faulkner

            More that you’ve realized you can’t outlast them so you’re crawling away with your tail tucked between your legs. An experienced you’re all too familiar with, I’m sure.

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring.

          • Faulkner

            Yet you keep coming baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! 😉

          • FullofQuestions1

            Okay, because this conversation has not gotten anywhere over the last three days, you two will owe me a dollar every time you contribute to it from now on.

          • chromesthesia

            Ew. No. Dude. I don’t think you have Asperger’s. I think you have saying annoying general things some folks will nod about and others will go WTF syndrome. UGH. I hate men like Christian Grey. I’d chase him off with a spider. Men like that can stay away from me. You are not a victim. You’re generalizing too much. It is annoying!

          • Faulkner

            Hell no. These bloody leeches have driven me out of everywhere else. I won’t be driven out of the last refuge I have. This is our domain, we won’t leave. We’ll drive the feminazis, the SJWs and all other scumbags out. GamerGate has already started this trend, don’t be surprised if soon these assholes start finding themselves being run off every domain of geekdom.

          • $36060516

            “These bloody leeches have driven me out of everywhere else. I won’t be driven out of the last refuge I have.”

            Your mother’s basement?

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Couldn’t have said it better. ^^

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            By the way, who is this “we” you’re talking about? You and what army?

          • Jonathan Campbell

            “Now I see the very same people who made me in outcast in society coming here to hound me. Feminists, social-justice warriors, the PC police…”

            Pretty sure they were here the whole time.

          • MichaelANovelli

            If you’ve been watching this website for years, then you would know that you’re exactly the sort of person we used to keep out of our forums, back when we had them…

          • Faulkner

            I was never in the forums nor have I have gotten into any fight here before this. You’re the ones who seem to have gone soft in the head. I’d really like to know what the hell you were smoking when you decided it would be a good idea to invite someone to bring a “feminist perspective” to the website. You know feminists and geeks get along together about as well as Israelis and Palestinians. What the fuck made you think that was a good idea?

          • MichaelANovelli

            Um, this site has always had a pro-women slant, because the people who run it are decent human beings who don’t feel that gender equality is something that needs to be explained to people. If recent articles have been too political for your tastes, then blame the over-politicized era we live in. I’m sure we’d all rather talk about things other than social issues, but social issues are kind of important.

            It’s interesting that you bring up Israelis vs. Palestinians, because this turf-war between Geeks and Feminists is equally absurd. Lord knows I’m no feminist, but even I can see you can both have what you want if you just stop fighting all the damn time…

          • Sofie Liv

            You’re doing it again! You are playing the victim!

            That’s all we ever get from you! Everybody else is the bad guy, you’re the misunderstood victim!
            You are playing the victim role! Constantly!

            You’re not taking any responsibility for your words nor actions! You are not trying to listen, why should you?! You’re the victim and everybody else is the bad guy! So as a victim you must protect yourself! And because you are the victim you don’t need own up.

            DUDE! Stop playing the victim! You are creating your own paradox and situtation!
            You walk in already exspecting everybody to hate you and be after you personally, because we are the bad guys, so you write some shitty things without standing up to them, and then we DO go after you, because we don’t let being told shitty things!
            And you don’t apologise or even stand up for what you say, why should you, you are the victim aren’t you?!

            Seriously, nothing will change before you STOP playing the victim all the time!

            You must feel very scared sad and alone, feeling like you are the lonly little victim, all alone in the big bad world where everybody else is out to get you personally.

            Grow some balls and take some damn personal responsibility at least.
            You write shitty things, people reply, take some responsibility to what you write instead of just playing victim.

            Think carefully before you answer to this post.
            Will you answer playing the victim, thus proving my point even further.
            Or will you actually grow up a bit and be responsible for a second or two.

          • Faulkner

            Liv, I just addressed that very same point in my first post. I get it, some things are unpleasant to say and even more unpleasant to hear, but that doesn’t mean they’re not true, and it most certainly does not justify promoting blatant lies just to shield people from a painful truth.

            Yes, looks do matter. Yes, blacks commit a disproportional amount of crime in the US. Yes, women are less sexual than men. No, women don’t care about men’s sense of humour or if they’re nice or not. No, men don’t care what a woman does for a living. And no, a man cannot love a woman unless he’s sexually attracted to her.

            All these things are demonstrably true, and simply claiming they’re not PC does not automatically make them false, do you understand?

          • Jonathan Campbell

            Actually, everything but “blacks commit a disproportional amount of crime in the US” is demonstrably FALSE. And the ultimate reason for black crime being disproportionate has to do with blacks living in poverty and not really anything else.

            I feel bad because I can’t tell whether you are saying these things because you actually mean them or if its because you just like saying shocking things.

          • Faulkner

            Both actually.

          • somerandomcommenter

            Even if all of what you said is true (huge if there), in the end you have to ask yourself what’s more important: having your opinion known and getting the last word in or people’s feelings? If you answered anything but people’s feelings, then you’re a sociopath. People are just “things” to you. And if that’s the case, why do you care what any of us have to say? We’re all just “things.”

          • Faulkner

            Do not presume to know how I think or feel. I respect other people’s feelings, enough not to go and try to shove my own beliefs down their throats… until they start trying to shove their beliefs down mine.

            You see, that kinda pisses me off. Some heartless harpy who’s only here to troll the people who frequent the website writing about some poor kids who can’t get laid because they weren’t lucky enough to be born with any of the traits or tools necessary to attract the opposite sex, and claiming it’s their fault and that they’re “entitled”, whatever the fuck that means… that kinda pisses me off. And I’m not just gonna sit here and listen to it.

          • chromesthesia

            Da hell? Stop generalizing! ARG! I hate that stuff. Saying the same things people say all the time doesn’t mean they are true, dude. Grrr.

            Also, go see a neurologist if you want a diagnosis which is what I did. And stop generalizing! It’s so annoying! I don’t even commit crime, I’m sexual despite not having sex, and I like men with a sense of humour. And I’m sure men can love women they are not sexually attracted to. There’s asexual men you know.

        • somerandomcommenter

          Does anyone have any more up-votes I can borrow?

    • Nasro Subari

      You can’t “self-diagnose” Asperger’s syndrome or Autism.

      And you don’t come across as any of the two. You come across as a typical teenager, drowning in self-pity and victimization.

      And the key sentence, as I said in another place, is: “there’s really nothing I can do about it.” That’s (a) not true, and (b) lazy.

  • James

    A thousand times this. I was formally diagnosed in early adulthood as being spectrum and it made me so angry I demanded my psychiatrist take it back. I associated the label with being an internet troll and an entitled dick. The term itself was meaningless to me at first because it just meant ‘asshole who won’t apologize’. Progress was slow but, eventually, I was able to understand autism and better control my own behavior within that definition. It gave me a reference point and a way to look for the things I was missing. Slowly but surely I began to understand the reasons behind why, sometimes, when I became upset I’d lose the ability to speak at all. Instead of trying to make myself talk (which always made things worse) I learned how to communicate even when I lost my voice. I became okay with the parts of myself that had always been frightening or had made me think I was crazy.

    The co-opting of the ‘Aspergers’ label is horrifically awful because, intentionally or not, it has led to a dramatic backlash against people who are socially disadvantaged to begin with. A lot of things are difficult for me that are not difficult for most people and I’m okay with that. I’ve worked really hard to fit in even if a lot of fitting in means drawing back and shutting up because I know I can’t really interact very well. The internet troll thing is so antithetical to me as a person, though, because as far as I’m concerned the worst thing I could ever hear is, ‘You have hurt my feelings.’ I’ve had people tell me that several times in the past and it’s always like an arrow through my heart because I hate having my feelings hurt and to do that to someone else is just the worst possible thing. I would never want to make anyone else feel bad and that makes it especially difficult to cope with the popular perception. There’s actually a bit more comfort in my dad’s interpretation of it which is most easily summed up as, “Well, buddy, just don’t tell anyone you’re retarded.” It hurts, sure, but it’s a hell of a lot less hurtful than being labeled as a dillhole because dillholes have labeled themselves with my diagnosis and used it as a crutch.

    • FullofQuestions1

      Wow, I feel like I just looked in a metaphorical mirror (ironic, since I have trouble with metaphors). I have a harder and harder time expressing myself verbally the more stressed or tired I get (that’s why I type and write in those situations). And like you, I can’t stand feeling like I’ve hurt somebody (and on the flip side, my favorite thing to do is help people). Screw that idea that autistics have no empathy, I’ve always found the opposite to be true. In fact, the current research is showing that autistic people might have TOO MUCH empathy, but the way they react appears to other people like they’re not empathizing. I’m a CNA in my day job; if I had no empathy, I’m in the wrong field. I’ve been a caregiver for the last three years, and it’s been the most fulfilling job precisely because I love the feeling of helping people and making them feel better.

      However, I’ve found over the years that “fitting in” is not as important as getting done what needs to get done. For instance, I’ve found that if I focus too much on looking in someone’s eyes while I’m talking to them, I don’t process what they’re saying. If I focus on not rocking back and forth or flapping my hands in class, that’s effort I could be putting into soaking in the material. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you at least that being afraid of myself so to speak has set me back a lot. I’ve found that I prefer a balance- I’ll permit myself to be weird as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Flapping my hands doesn’t hurt anyone, as long as I’m careful not to hit anyone. Echolalia isn’t hurting anyone as long as it’s not a quiet setting.

      Neither of us are dillholes, and you seem like a really smart and nice person. Thanks for reading my stuff!

      • MichaelANovelli

        If you’re looking at something reflective, isn’t that just a regular mirror?

      • chromesthesia

        I have too much empathy. It’s a bit frustrating.

  • The_Stig

    Remember when people used to just review movies on this site?

    • FullofQuestions1

      People still are, just look to the right on this page. I just thought I’d try something new. 🙂

      • danbreunig

        It paid off. Not the flame war of course, but for those who really do care.
        [raises hand, tips hat]

    • MichaelANovelli

      Those were dark days…

  • danbreunig

    To all of us involved in this forum for this article:
    We should all benefit from this lesson, courtesy of Johnny Oldschool.

    http://www.agonybooth.com/raw_feed/mivh/Why_do_we_treat_each_other_so_shitty__and_how_can_we_change_that

  • chromesthesia

    Indeed. I have it and I usually am very polite about not agreeing with people.

  • Guest

    I have huge social anxiety, get overwhelmed by bright lights and crowds, have obsessive interests, disruptions in routine distress me, and have had motor control issues all of my life. I only took an online test years ago that said I’m borderline Asperger’s, but the more I read about the symptoms the more I think “What the fuck, that describes me” (not all of them totally), but I’m definitely not normal. That’s why I’m even writing this. I should be at work right now.

    • Sofie Liv

      That’s okay you feel like that.
      And I don’t doubt your words at all. It’s brave of you to stand up and admit these problems, and there should be no shame at all in voicing them or go asking for a deeper explanation at places.

      You are not alone in such a situation, we are many whom has exsperienced similar things, though it can never ever be exactly the same.
      Your exsperiences are unique. It’s a heavy feeling, to feel you are outside of the norm, being closed off and just, different from the people around you. It feels very sad and lonely.

      I hope though you also know how to open up and exsperience the world around you, things are hard, but there are good things to, sometimes.

      Soldier on, my friend.

    • Nasro Subari

      We can read about almost any disease or dysfunction and find ourselves having these symptoms. That means nothing. Online test are absolutely worthless. Unless you see something who actually knows his/her job, you can’t know what you have. If you have anything. Nobody is “normal”. “Normal” is just the average of all our differences.

      Most often than not, claiming or even thinking we have a disturbance is just an excuse for not working on ourselves. There, it’s got a name, now I’m entitled to do what I want without regard to others. Because I can’t help it.

  • Matthew Given

    I have Asperger’s and I will admit that some times it does cause me to flip out and lose it with people when things get too much for me. Still I always say sorry once I notice that I have done it(The way it seems to work for me is that I lot of times I will get lost in the moment and be unable to see that I am flipping out until latter)but I only use Asperger’s to explain what I did never as an excuse. Still some times it can get bad,like if I have a headache and then I think someone is attacking me,but I still do my best to control it and I don’t use it as an excuse to troll like a lot of people.

  • Nasro Subari

    Paraphrasing from another article here:

    “I know [insert your favorite disorder] sounds cool, but trust me, there’s nothing cool about it. It is fucking lame. Here’s a tip: if you think your mental illness makes you unique, special, or dark and complex, you’re probably fine.”

    • Jonathan Campbell

      Or….your dealing with your illness in a different (and maybe or not unhealthy) way.

      Okay, I really have to step in here, because this is showing up too much- the whole “If you have X, you would never Y” thing is just rubbish. Yes, there are people who glamorize their mental illness, or glamorize the way their mental illness causes them to think- that’s how they deal with it, or that’s the type of person they are and maybe they have a different problem (high self-esteem, or low self-esteem) that causes them to think that way. In fact, the very fact that its lame is often PRECISELY why they glamorize it in the first place; it makes them suffer and they are tired of suffering, so they decide to romanticise it to ease their pain. Or, they simply get used to and accept it as part of themselves.

      Thinking yourself “unique, special, dark or complex” is a separate issue from having Aspergers, or being on the spectrum, or having depression or whatever; that’s a matter of your personality. And a person whose personality is geared towards thinking themselves special (either to compensate for their insecurities or because they are legitimately big-headed, and even regardless of whether they are otherwise decent people); yes, that sort of person can and often will incorporate their mental illness into that way of viewing themselves.

      How you view your mental illness is irrelevant to the question of whether you have it. Thinking you have a mental illness but it makes you special in some way is not something that disqualifies you from having said illness, anymore than being in denial of it. How you deal with your illness is not dependant on having an illness; it is dependant on YOU.

  • chachi

    I think the anti-gay patrol, the diversity crowd, and lesbo feminists should stop trolling for a year or two, and go do something positive. Like picking up litter in the highway. And then people might actually like them. Or, do they actually want that Indian to cry all these decades later?

    • Jericho Caine

      You are a complete and utter moron.