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VIDEO: American Virgin (2009)

Mr. Mendo reviews the lame sex comedy American Virgin, where a college student (Jenna Dewan-Tatum) makes a vow of abstinence, and yet still falls prey to a porn producer (Rob Schneider) who plans to put her in his Girls Gone Wild-esque video. Watch as a bunch of no-name actors (including Schneider’s daughter, maybe?) go on a road trip to get the incriminating footage back.

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  • Tim Terrell

    You say that we “couldn’t see it in this review, but this movie was really hard to sit through”? Oh I could see it. I could definitely see it. The jokes that you claim were funny weren’t imo, and all of the actors annoyed me. Especially virgin girl’s dorm mate.

  • maarvarq

    The levels were a bit off on this one. If I had your direct-to-camera comments at a comfortable volume, your voice-overs on the clips were a bit too soft to hear.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Thank you.  I’ll see if I can fix that!

  • Bo Burnham was in this movie? That’s REALLY pushing star quality there. What does he do? Half-assed comedy songs on the Internet? Songs that can’t hold a candle to the likes of Weird Al, Tim Minchin or Bill Bailey? Oddly enough Bailey spoke highly of Burnham at one point so what do I know?
    Some people call a movie that’s automatically going to suck because this actor/actress is in it as the Keanu Reeves effect but shouldn’t it be called the Rob Schneider effect?
    I liked Scott Pilgrim because Edgar Wright was directing and the film overall was fun to watch with a good soundtrack. Then again, you’ve probably heard this over and over and I am more of a casual movie viewer so I have little room to talk. I haven’t seen it again since if that’ll keep you from nuking my house. :/

    • MichaelANovelli

      No worries.  Every critic has a favorite punching bag, Scott Pilgrim just happens to be mine…

  • I love all the introductions you make, each one is just as funny xD

    • MichaelANovelli

      I’ve just had that song on the brain lately…

  • Sofie Liv

    You know, from that plot you describe I also sense a decent little teen flick beneath it. There is a good set up for jokes in here, and as you said, a nice little message.

    I don’t know, but oh well, you did end up reviewing a teen flick any-how hehe.

    • MichaelANovelli

      These characters belong in a movie that doesn’t make you want to claw your eyes out…

  • Cristiona

    So… it’s not actually part of the American Pie… um… branding? They’re just trying to cash in? Yikes.

    As for me, I’ll stick with Interstate 60 for my coming-of-age-road-movie, thankyouverymuch.

  • MichaelANovelli

    I dunno, I think I come off a little Phil Buni in this episode.  Still, I think our guest editor did a great job!

  • TheScottCSmith

    According to IMDB Sarah Habel plays the daughter of the Rob Schneider character…nothing there about her being his actual daughter.  

    • MichaelANovelli

      Weird.  There’s another person named Schneider listed in the credits…

  • Joelkazoo

    This was far from your worst, Mendo! Thanks for reminding me I need to watch Amadeus again soon!

    • MichaelANovelli

      Well, it was a different style, I was nervous…

  • Anonymous

    That was fine, quit stressing over your production values. Clearly, they’re not why we watch the show.

    … that was meant to be a compliment about your wit and analysis.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Well, alright…  🙂

  • Olaf_the_Lofty

    This isn’t “the worst thing you’ve ever done” – I enjoyed it very much. Thanks! My own impression from what you showed is that “two wrongs don’t make a right”: a stereotyped over-restrained girl plus a stereotyped unrestrained girl do not add together to make HILARITY.

    Also, thanks very much for the Cheat Commandos clip. It was exactly appropriate. When her roommate invited her to the party, Priscilla should have said “I’ve got dysentry!”
    http://www.homestarrunner.com/cheatcommandos4.html

    • MichaelANovelli

      Now you’re gettin’ it!  😉

  • I still think an agony booth fighting game would be cool 🙂 like super smash brothers, lol:)

    • MichaelANovelli

      Yeah!  Me with my cane!  Sofie with her vicious scarf attack!  Jerry with his flaming grilled stuffed fajitas!  I’d buy it…

  • I enjoyed this review but I like the reviews where you take down good, famous movies better.  Also, why’d you lose the handlebar mustache?  You should grow a real one it looks good on you.  

    • MichaelANovelli

      That actually was a real handlebar.  And it made my chin itch like hell, so I shaved it off.  I appreciate that, though!  🙂