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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Video: Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights
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Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights

Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights

As everyone knows, there is no easier way to instantly improve the quality of a movie than by including a scene where a character fights a bear. In fact, there's only one thing better than a movie character fighting a bear: a movie character played by a world-famous celebrity fighting a bear.

Let's face it: There's nothing celebrities can't do. They can heal the sick, they can feed the poor, they can end genocide, they can expose themselves in public and not get arrested, and they can come out and basically confess to a murder and still be found not guilty. But most importantly of all, celebrities can engage in personal, hand-to-hand combat with bears in close quarters and escape completely unharmed.

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Of course, if a normal non-famous person like you or I ever engaged in fisticuffs with a bear, the end result would most likely be a less hungry bear. But the sheer power of celebrity can intimidate just about any wild animal. Which is why it's high time we paid tribute to the celebrities that have fought bears in movies and TV and lived to tell the tale. Or, at the very least, went down swinging.

This is the Agony Booth's Top 9 Celebrity Bear Fights, complete with video evidence. Be forewarned, these clips might be too awesome for YouTube, so if any of them get pulled for copyright viol—er, "matching third party content", just sit tight, and I'll get them back online somewhere else just as soon as possible.

Oh yeah, and before anyone emails me: I'm aware that 75% of these bear fights feature the late Bart the Bear, star of a dozen Hollywood films, and the subject of his own documentary. So, in some ways, these celebrity bear fights could be viewed as celebrity vs. celebrity, a battle of pure star power. Let's get to it!


#9: Mr. T vs. a bear, "Case of the Casino Caper"
(Orig. Aired Nov. 26, 1983)

Mr. T's 1980s cartoon show has been carefully documented elsewhere on this site, so I won't bore you with an explanation of the show's premise. Instead, I'll simply direct you to the video clip above of the animated version of Mr. T going up against a trained bear.

I honestly haven't watched this episode in its entirety, so I have no idea how fighting a bear has anything to do with a casino caper. So I'll just throw out a wild guess, and say that in the process of solving this particular mystery, Mr. T and the gang end up in the basement of the Mirage, where they're forced to engage in mortal combat with animals for the inhuman pleasure of a bloodthirsty Siegfried and Roy.

The most amazing thing about this clip is the reaction of the teens in Mr. T's crew: Instead of being terrified at the prospect of Mr. T getting mauled, or actually, you know, trying to help, the kids are content to stand on the sidelines, and even take bets [!] on the bear fight.

Hey, come on, these kids hang out with Mr. T all day. If Mr. T is fighting a bear, it must be Tuesday. And if he's punching a shark, it must be Wednesday.

In addition, this clip proves my personal theory that it's possible to learn something new about Mr. T every single day. In this case, I'm learning via his conversation with the bear ("Nobody talks to me like that!") that Mr. T can actually speak Bear. Which is just one of many things he seems to have in common with Chuck Norris (relax, he's on this countdown, too).

Given how awe-inspiring this clip is, you might wonder why it only registers at #9 on this countdown. But when you get right down to it, it's just a cartoon. No real animals or mohawked ex-bouncers were harmed in the making of this clip. Watch the following eight videos of live-action bear fights, and then come talk to me.

#8: Richard Kiel vs. a bear, The Giant of Thunder Mountain

Yes, the Agony Booth's very own Repeat Offender Richard Kiel, Jaws and Eegah himself, once took on a bear singlehandedly. He was the alien on that classic Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man", but what he's serving here is a huge helping of whoop-ass on a bear. But what's even more impressive is that he wrote this movie's screenplay, giving the world a completely unnecessary peek into his demented psyche.

It's the late 1800s, and Kiel is a freakishly tall mountain man, completely misunderstood by the local townsfolk, who all suspect him to be a murderer. But one sweet little girl is able to see through his gruff exterior and his bad '70s cop moustache, and befriend this gentle giant. The locals think Kiel murdered his parents, but it turns out they were actually killed by a bear. Hilariously, this same bear has been stalking Kiel all these years. Which means this is not only an awesome fight scene, it's also Kiel finally facing down the demons that have haunted him all his life.

But for me, the best part about this clip is watching a syrupy bonding moment between girl and giant get interrupted by a huge bear materializing out of nowhere. It's the most hilarious thing ever. If only every saccharine moment in a kid's film could end abruptly with the appearance of a raging bear.

Unfortunately, the ending to this fight is sort of anticlimactic, because it's pretty obvious the big stick Kiel uses to vanquish the bear is made of sawdust. But still, it's a lot more impressive than wearing a bearskin and uttering caveman gibberish and pawing at Arch Hall's girlfriend.

Obligatory Trivia: The little girl in the clip appears in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Imaginary Friend", where her pretend playmate is really a sinister alien bent on destroying the Enterprise. After that, she appeared on 10 episodes of 90210: TOS as Dylan McKay's little sister.

#7: Steven Seagal vs. a bear, On Deadly Ground

On Deadly Ground features Steven Seagal going up against Big Oil (personified by a sweaty Michael Caine) to protect Eskimo tribal land. To prove himself worthy, Seagal goes on a vision quest. He doesn't call upon the spirit of Hoochiemomma, but he does meet Mother Nature herself, who appoints Seagal with the job of saving the earth from polluters. Yes, the entire earth. I wonder how that's been working out for him.

But more importantly, at some point in his vision quest, he does astral battle with a bear. While the sight of Seagal bum-rushing a bear is indeed hilarious, I have to dock serious points for the fact that the fight barely lasts 15 seconds. Pouring salt into the wound is how Seagal loses. He loses! There's a strong possibility that this is the only fight Seagal ever loses in any of his films, and that's counting his DTV crap of the last 6 or 7 years.

Actually, the time might be right for a rematch, because these days, I'm fairly sure that Seagal weighs about as much as the bear.

Next Page: Leslie Nielsen (Leslie freaking Nielsen!), and a double helping of Ferrigno! >>>

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