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TV Episode Reviews & Recaps
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Blood Splattered Cinema
Hosted by: Horror Guru
The Horror Guru reviews the bloodiest, wildest, and weirdest horror that cinema has to offer!
Cartoon Palooza
Hosted by: Joey Tedesco
A satirical review show where a guy from Jersey watches and criticizes cartoons, including everything from comic books to animated movies. Whatever it is, Joey will either tell you to run out and see it... or fughetabouit!
The Count Jackula Show
Hosted by: Count Jackula
There are vampires, and there are men from outer space, but there is only one vampire from outer space! Join Count Jackula from the Planet Drakula as he explains the ins and outs of horror, from the mythic to the modern. Blood, off-color humor, and an obsession with Elvira are in store for you!
The Examined Life (of Gaming)
Hosted by: Roland Thompson
Just when video games were getting good, the late '90s and early '00s came along. The Examined Life (of Gaming) dares to delve into the good, the bad, and the value-priced games of this dark period, and sometimes we find something worth playing!
The Film Renegado
Hosted by: Film Renegado
Coming to you from south of the border, it's the Film Renegado! A civil engineer with a cinephile complex, the Film Renegado uses movies made in Mexico or by Mexican directors to share bits from his country's culture, past and present. You will both learn and be entertained! How cool is that?
Friday Night Fright Flicks
Hosted by: Count Jackula & Horror Guru
Welcome, fright knights, to Friday Night Fright Flicks! Join your hosts Count Jackula and the Horror Guru as they stumble their way through current horror releases, letting you know which ones are worth the price of admission.
Good Bad Flicks
Hosted by: Cecil Trachenburg
Good Bad Flicks is a show not only dedicated to rare movies, but also forgotten classics and misunderstood box office bombs. Your host Cecil takes you through each movie, discussing the promotional materials, and taking a look at what went on behind the scenes. With a healthy dose of Irish sarcasm, he throws a few jabs at even his most cherished favorites.
The Graphic Novel Picture Show
Hosted by: Sybil Pandemic
Your host Solkir presents The Graphic Novel Picture Show, a retrospective of the history of comic book movies!
The Movie Skewer
Hosted by: Team Agony Booth
From the makers of the Agony Booth™ comes The Movie Skewer, where terrible movies are roasted over an open flame for your enjoyment. Watch the very first online review/recap series that’s too much for one host to handle!
Mr. Mendo's Hack Attack
Hosted by: Michael A. Novelli
Need a healthy dose of cynicism from a guy whose face you can barely see? Then Mr. Mendo’s your man! Whether a movie suffers from Hype Backlash, Intellectual Dishonesty, or is just Complete Shit, Mr. Mendo is there. Mr. Mendo wasn‘t raised in this country, so he takes nothing for granted: if something ain‘t right, he’ll nose it out. So join him as he takes on Oscar winners and legendary flops alike in front of a blanket suspended between his couch and recliner!
Stuff You Like
Hosted by: Sursum Ursa
Stuff You Like is an original show where redhead Sursum Ursa waxes enthusiastic about movies, TV shows, and anything else that comes to mind! Expect singing, snarky subtitles, random pictures she finds on the internet, and lots of fangirling!
Terror Obscura
Hosted by: Fear Fan
Terror Obscura is a show dedicated to exploring the best and worst horror films ever made. While some shows are content to just mock bad films, this one isn't afraid to take even the most sacred of cows to the slaughterhouse. If you like horror, humor, or if you're just looking to find some titles you might want to rent, Terror Obscura is the show for you!
Tom's Retrophilia
Hosted by: Thomas Stockel
Is he a connoisseur of vintage media, or just a bitter old man trapped in the past?  Either way, tune in and watch Tom take a look at the movies and television shows from a time when he was actually in the target audience!
The Unusual Suspect
Hosted by: Unusual Suspect
The Unusual Suspect reviews popular movies, and tears 'em apart! They may be good, but no movie is perfect, and there's always things you may have overlooked and hadn't thought about. So join the Suspect as he exploits and ridicules the films you know and love. Just don't kill him for it!
What We Had to Watch
Hosted by: Il Neige
Il Neige is a smart-ass with a love-hate relationship with movies from the new millennium. Sure, reviews can be fun or cathartic, but there's also the risk of the occasional Twi-hard invasion or fireball to the face! ...That's how these things usually go, right? So join Il Neige as he braves the cinematic dangers that lie just beyond the fourth wall to critique the best and worst of 21st century filmmaking!
Click to see all our shows!
the agony booth
Mamma Mia! (2008) Movie Review Page 2 of 3
Posted by Jordon Davis Posted on: March 12, 2009
Page: 1 2 3

Sam and Donna arrive at the church, having settled nothing. Everybody watches Sophie and Sky get married, until the question comes up of who's giving the bride away. Sam, Harry, and Bill all stand up at once. They each look in amazement at the other two. On an unrelated note, I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in two weeks. I'm pretty proud because it says right on the box, "Four to six years."

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
Dude, it's your wedding. Put a tie on.

If this happened in the real world, I would expect fisticuffs. But this is not the real world. Here, the three men tell Sophie that she's so special and amazing that they would each be happy being only one-third of her father. And Sophie is okay with that.

So here's the big Mamma Mia! spoiler: The essential question of the movie—the MacGuffin which drives all the action, the dilemma we've been waiting ninety minutes for the movie to resolve—never gets answered. Who is Sophie's father? Nobody. Everybody. I could be Sophie's father. It wouldn't matter, though, because I never would have made it up the mountain.

Believe it or not, there's more stupidity ahead of us than behind.

The article continues after this advertisement...

Sophie now knows what she truly wants. She wants to not get married. Jebus, I hate her. She and Sky are going to get off this tiny island and see the world. A) I don't know why they couldn't see the world as a married couple, and B) good luck getting off the island, because Locke blew up the submarine.

But Sky and everybody else are happy about all of these developments. So, movie over? Oh, you insolent fool. This is a musical, and there's a priest. Somebody has to get married.

And that somebody is... Sam, who proposes to Donna on the spot. He says he's a divorced man with two grown sons (though they can't be older than 19), and he wants to live on Dilapidos and help Donna run the hotel. He sings his love for her, and she responds, "I do." And then she says, "I do, I do, I do, I do, I do," because those are the lyrics to the ABBA song.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
Dude, it's your wedding. Put a tie on.

They get married right then and there. Apparently, there's no need for paperwork on Dilapidos. The day is saved.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
Streep is so Method, she demanded that she and Brosnan get married for real. I hear they're very happy.

And yet, the movie continues to get more stupid. We follow everyone to the wedding reception, where Sam makes a toast that sounds a lot like an ABBA song. It moves Rosie to hop up on a table and demand that Bill take a chance on her. She chases him as he climbs a drainpipe and crawls across a roof. So Bill eventually realizes that an ABBA song is a cogent argument for falling in love with her.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
The difference between being an Oscar-winning actress and an Oscar-nominated one.

Everybody is now paired up: Sophie and Sky (unmarried and sexy); Sam and Donna (married and unsexy); Rosie and Bill (unmarried, unsexy); Tanya and some island guy (gross and disturbing); and Harry and some island guy (gross and disturbing, not that there's anything wrong with it).

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
New York General Obligations Law, sec. 730(a)(6): Every main character shall end up with their one true love in all musicals excepting ironic ones. Sec. 730(a)(7): For sums smaller than $500.00, no Writs of Replevin shall lie excepting ironic ones.

Even for a musical, this should be considered a sufficient ending... No? It's still going? Another ABBA song? Fine, everyone is singing an ABBA song when... when... oh, I can't say it. It's too stupid.

Okay, look, the concrete floor gives way and water starts spurting up into the air. It turns out the hotel was built on Aphrodite's famous fountain of love, which is so famous, in fact, that I had to look it up on Wikipedia... where it does not appear. My best guess (and, I won't lie to you, I've been drinking) is that they meant it to be a fountain actually known to be located on Cyprus, but whatever. I can't even find the link.

Everyone is dancing and getting drenched and bathing in the waters of love. Judging from the behavior of the partygoers, the waters of love may contain a small amount of OxyContin. And ecstasy. And whatever Neo took that shot him out of that pod all bald and naked. Plus vitamin C with rose hips.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
"I am soooo wet right now."

End of movie? Hell, no. It's now early dawn, and Sophie and Sky board a boat off the island. At least, I think that's what happens. The scene is so poorly lit that I'm really just guessing. I would be more than happy to entertain any logical suggestions.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
I'm gonna guess David Crosby absorbing the soul of a cheerleader.

And the credits roll.

No... they don't. The hell? The Dynamos come out onto a big lighted stage in full-on '70s disco glam regalia. They've got on platform boots, and wide collars tapering down to deep V-cut blouses with lots of ruffles. Even ABBA never had this much ABBA going on. The group does "Dancing Queen", and then Donna asks us if we want some more.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
"Which button do I push to post this to YouTube?"

It's funny because nobody answers her. No audience member screams. There doesn't appear to even be an audience. Donna takes the utter silence as approval and the girls begin "Waterloo", this time aided, oh lord almighty, by the guys. The three men are now dressed in getups that would have been out of place in Thank God It's Friday. They dance gamely, the way my father danced at my wedding.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
It's the: "I'm happy, but I'm also worried about the bill, and I have no idea what song this is" dance.

The good news is that they've gained an audience. The bad news is that no amount of studying the physical world can explain this audience. They appear to be a cadre of Greek gods. They're enjoying the music... somewhat. Actually, they don't look too happy. I'd say they're mildly appreciative, at best.

And the credits roll.

No. No, they don't. Amanda Seyfried sings "Thank You for the Music" over the end titles, which happens to be my least favorite song of all time including, but not limited to, the spoken word version of "Can You Read My Mind" by Margot Kidder, "Lazy Pirate Day", and those drums they play when they lead somebody to the gallows.

And the movie ends with a reminder that all of these songs and more are available for free any time anyone cares to turn on a radio.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
Um, guys, we know.

So, bad plot badly executed. Does it ruin the movie? No, it does not. Oklahoma!, as near as modern science can determine, actually has no plot. Cats is just a bunch of poems.

What, then, makes the movie bad? Not the following:

Christine Baranski

It's hard to fault Christine Baranski, who plays cougar Tanya. She's the utility infielder of movie comedies. Every casting decision that has ever been made about her has gone like, "What? Our first choice died in a skiing accident? Call up Christine Baranski."

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
Also, during filming, she was briefly captured by Somali pirates.

She can kind of sing, kind of move, and she's a good sport about everything. But frankly, any Broadway actress would have been better than her. Am I the only person left on earth who remembers Faith Prince? Marilu Henner? Mary Lou Retton? Um... I'm not gay.

By the way, Christine Baranski was just on The Big Bang Theory the other night, and I'm trying to talk that show up. Incidentally, watch The Big Bang Theory.

Colin Firth

I'm going to give Colin Firth a pass as newly-gay Harry. He can barely sing, but his character had almost nothing to do. Also, look how excited he was doing press for the movie:

(Lack of) Pride and Prejudice

Anyone that close to suicide needs an intervention, not internet scorn.

Amanda Seyfried

Poor little Amanda Seyfried. Her character, Sophie, is a loon. Her behavior at any given point in the movie makes no sense under any system of logic. But she has enough going for her.

Her voice is not unpleasant. It's thin and lacks character, but it doesn't exactly offend. She'd make it to Hollywood Week, but would get cut when her group refused to work together and one person went to bed early and another was a gay 17 year old guy who just flipped out and spent the whole night crying and waving his hand in front of his face while an earthy, black woman kept yelling, "Jesus, please give me the strength not to beat these white people down" and then they all got on stage and everybody forgot the words and instead sang, "Hmm hmm hmm, baby, baby, hmm hmm hmm" and then the gay kid had yet another freak-out and left the stage before the judges even said anything.

That's the kind of singer she is.

Also, she's blazingly hot in a very not-Natalie Portman kind of way, if you get my meaning.

Caption contributed by Jordon Davis
And... you're welcome again.

I'm saying Amanda's more of a nordic beauty. She doesn't celebrate Shemini Atzeret too gaudily. She can't get wholesale prices on diamonds. Jewish. She's not Jewish. So, Amanda and her shiksappeal make it through this movie and are free to return to the set of Big Love.

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