Agents of SHIELD Recap: Family Matters

Last time, on our Agents of Shield recap, we begged for a holiday hiatus so that we’d have a respite from this uneven-to-mostly-bad show. The gods granted us one week off, but now we’re stuck with this show again, so let’s do this.

We’re in prison! Yay!? We’ve got the obligatory small yet somehow terrifyingly menacing dude who refuses to allow anyone to sit by him and then BLAM we’ve got a prison break-in, presumably to facilitate a break-out, from some super-strong military types.

The plane! The plane!

Skye is hacking, because that is what she does! She’s found a random agent lady who may have left her in a basket on a doorstep somewhere foundling-stylee. This is yet another opportunity for Skye to whine about how she needs access to more classified files, which of course makes sense because she’s been so completely trustworthy in the past. Coulson tells her that May’s going to look for her. Skye is sad. Sad Skye.

Patented Joss Whedon “work out your sexual frustration or perhaps ramp up your sexual desire a la Buffy/Spike workout” is happening with May and Ward. One trick pony much?

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Looks like the prison breakout starring superhuman strength guys was conducted by some Centipede folks and the Centipede developers have solved that teeny-weeny little problem they were having where their super soldiers kept blowing up. They broke out an ex-Marine with a talent for tactics and a penchant for stabbing people’s eyes out. He seems nice. SHIELD’s very own Centipede-enhanced guy, Mike Peterson from waaaayyyyy back in episode one, is tapped to go sort this thing out. May is not even in the least bit in favor of this idea. Coulson takes this special moment to let her know he’s also pawning Skye’s mommy issues off on her.

Now let’s all have a team-wide clunky conversation about how Peterson is a ticking time bomb so that Peterson can walk in on it and give a “thanks for this chance to serve” kinda speech. Yawn. Peterson looks hella pretty in a suit though.

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They’ve figured who one of the soldiers might be, and he has a sister in Cleveland, so we’re taking the plane to that exotic locale.

SHIELD needs to figure out how much of a toll it takes on Peterson when he uses his super-strength, so they’ve sent him down to the lab to be lovingly measured by Simmons, which gives Fitz a sad. Everyone is sad or mad this episode. We are sad and mad about this episode. Everybody loses. Fitz and Simmons get over their snit when they realize that it is their sleepy weapon that stabilized Peterson and stopped him from sploding.

Time for reminiscing with Ward and Coulson. Coulson loved a lady once, but now she is gone, on account of how he died. That tends to put a damper on relationships.

Skye and May are going to work on finding Skye’s mom. This is how May feels about that.

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Luckily, May is only there to thwart Skye’s mommy issues rather than help, so she doesn’t actually have to be all that enthused. Also, they’re mid-mission, so May wants to know why the fuck Skye is bothering her.

Oh. Skye has some actual info about the dude that got broked out of prison, but is so teeming with narcissism that she had to talk about herself first. Skye was able to grab a video of who visited the now-liberated prisoner, Mr. Po, and oh hey look it is the lady, Raina, that recruited Peterson for Centipede. Small world. Nice to see that all the folks from Episode One are still getting work.

Rayna and Po seem to have a clairvoyant at their disposal, but it is an inadequate clarivoyant and can’t find whoever they’re looking for. Subpar clairvoyants are the worst, amirite?

We’re at random college campus catching up with generic blond college girl who happens to be the sister of Brian Hayward, one of the ex-soldiers that helped break Po out of prison. She’s all like “brother? what brother? oh, that guy. we never talk” and then as soon as Ward’s out of sight, she calls him. So shrewd, SHIELD. Brother is in California, so we’re off to the plane again, which gives Skye time to go bother Mike Peterson.

Thank god that is cut short because Peterson has to go mano y mano with other Centipede-enhanced soldiers, who are enormous fighting machines. Why isn’t Peterson all swole like that? The Centipede soldiers also can’t be knocked out by whatever sleepy gun worked on Peterson, so it’s time for an all-out brawl which it really seems like SHIELD has to lose since they have only one Centipede guy, right?

Peterson knocks out one of the soldiers and the others run away, because apparently being rage-fueled super-soldiers doesn’t mean you’re not fucking wusses? Oh, they were told to run. The knocked out soldier has the suicide thing wired into his eye that we saw earlier in the season, so he’s dead as can be, but not before he transmits an eyeball screenshot to Po and Raina, who realize that oh hey, Peterson hasn’t had serum in a while but is doing just fine, so she says he’s going to help them level up.

Po has had a chat with the mysterious clairvoyant, but he doesn’t want to share what the clairvoyant said or anything about him because if Raina finds out about the clairvoyant she’ll get a knife in the eye. Fun!

Skye tries to talk to May AGAIN and May tells her to go hang and that Skye needs to figure out why she’s with SHIELD and stop worrying about her personal attachments. Skye tears up all the potential mother candidate printouts and cries. Gah.

More special personal development time, this time with Peterson and Coulson. Peterson hasn’t seen his kid since the events of Episode One, where Peterson was pretty much literally a monster. Coulson gets Peterson to call his kid and tell him he’ll come home to see him soon, and of course when he calls, his kid is being held hostage by Raina. Oops. Centipede wants to swap the kid for Peterson.

They’re going to do the swap because FitzSimmons have some super-secret untrackable tracking device, so this will be cake or something. There’s only 6 minutes left in this episode, so either gets resolved right quick or we’re heading towards a two-parter.

Things immediately go south and get really confusing and overacted. Apparently the deal isn’t Mike for kid. Now the deal is kid for Coulson. Except that Mike tries to throttle Raina and tells her the deal is now the kid for Raina. Wait, what? Raina points out she works for someone that doesn’t really care if she lives or dies, so Mike’s plan sucks.

Coulson solves this by saying he’s going to go with the Centipede crew voluntarily and Mike gets his kid back. He promptly leaves the kid with Skye and runs after Coulson and right into an explosion.

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BOOM. Two-parter.

Meanwhile, Centipede has gotten away with Coulson and Raina tells him that what they’re after is for Coulson to tell them about the day after the day he died. Good lord maybe we’ll FINALLY get to the bottom of that and the end of that story arc, though if that’s gone, we’ve now idea what they’ll talk about next. Tune in next week, we guess.

TV Show: Marvel's Agents of SHIELD

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  • BMW

    The sooner they find Sky’s mom, the sooner the wrap up the subplot, the sooner Sky can die/get kicked off the plane already.