Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (2006) (part 2 of 8)

by · January 23, 2008

A really angry guy berates some other guy for doing something. Yes, that’s a bit vague, but all we see on this line is a wide angle shot of people walking around the interior of the mountain base.

Cut to a doughy Chevy Chase. I’m sorry, but “doughy” is the only word I can use without sacrificing either human kindness or recapping accuracy. He tells a Scary General (Rip Torn, to whom the really angry voice belongs) about “a pan-dimensional anomaly that seems to be moving toward our time-space continuum”. At 25 MPH, according to a tracking screen. Even when it’s played for laughs, the “science” in this movie is pretty weak.

The General tells Chevy AKA Dr. Grant that “I speak Greek, not geek,” while over-exerting his facial muscles to an annoying degree. Well, your oh-so-awesome Greek skills didn’t help you any when it came to giving your raygun an original name, now did they? Dr. Grant, however, puts it into lay terms: Concussion is still alive, and he’s coming back. Hey, just like he promised!

Caption contributed by The Fili

“Be a dear and wake me up when this is over, will you, son?”

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The Fili

Hi, my name is Matthias, I am a student of English and German, and may one day even get to teach these (if my university ever works out how to run a B.A. system). I live in a medium-sized German town few have ever heard of, and have only recently discovered the joys of suffering through horrible movies, describing them in every little... okay, let's forget about the joy and make that therapeutic effect.

Multi-Part Article: Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (2006)

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  • Andrew Stookey

    These people seem to have terribly miscast Chevy Chase as a put-upon butt monkey. Chase’s comedy is borne of arrogance, so playing a suservient scientist is a major misstep

    • Michael Bagamery

      Community blended those to some damn good returns for three solid-gold seasons (and one-half of a non-season).

  • drdvdplayerhandbook

    After I read the entire recap, and checked all your complaints, I’m still not convinced you hated this movie as much as I did. Really. After I watched it, my brain blacked out for a few minutes, trying to erase it from my memory. It didn’t succeed, but it erased Elektra instead, so there’s that.

  • Lily

    “The song, by the way, is a cover of Queen’s “Under Pressure” by Smash Mouth. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Freddy Mercury comes back along with Concussion to give the filmmakers a good thrashing.”

    I hate to nit-pick, but it’s actually spelled “Freddie”. Still, I would gladly pay to see a movie like that. I really would. That would make a much better movie than this. I remember my dad renting this…thing…a while back. We were very disappointed with it, to say the least.

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