VIDEO: Zombie Strippers! (2008)

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It had to happen eventually, right? Ursa and the Porn Critic team up (in person!!) to review Zombie Strippers!, starring Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund, where undead boobs meet existentialism, George W. Bush jokes, and contempt for the audience! Wait, what?

Features a cameo from the Cheap-Arse Film Critic! And you can watch the outtakes here!

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  • MichaelANovelli

    Man, this movie irritated me. It’s like they had no idea how the military works…

    • TheRedWorm

      To be fair, that’s probably because they atually had no idea how the military works. :-)

      • Jill Bearup

        They don’t know, AND they don’t care. It’s like a double whammy!

        • TheRedWorm

          Seriously. I can understand not researching something relatively minor in a film (say, what an architect does if there is only one brief scene in an architect’s office), but to not research a core element in a film is just stupid.

    • tj

      tHe movie is called Zombie strippers.

      I doubt that knowing how the military works was first on their mind.

      • MichaelANovelli

        I can accept a certain level of silliness (this IS a movie called Zombie Strippers, after-all), but when a movie that’s all about irony tries to present something un-ironically and just completely screws it up, it’s very distracting…

        • Jill Bearup

          Maybe it *was* irony. They are operating in a dystopia where everything is ridiculous and stupid, so maybe that includes ‘how the military does/doesn’t work’?

          • MichaelANovelli

            There’s satire, and then there’s not knowing that you don’t call sergeants, “Sir!” There’s no way to spin that one. ;-)

          • Jill Bearup

            “Thank you sir!”
            “Abby, don’t call me sir.”
            “…thank you ma’am!”

          • MichaelANovelli

            I can’t watch NCIS. I can’t take the “will they/won’t they” with Tony and Ziva anymore…

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            Well, Mr. Mendo, ignore the TIVA-Aspect and enjoy the rest of the show. ^^ I like it.

            Although I’d like McGee/Ziva better, pairing-wise. ^^

          • CaptainCalvinCat

            “Thank you, Sir.”
            Janeway: “Mister Kim? at ease before you sprain something.”
            Ensign, despite Starfleet protocol I don’t like being addressed as “sir.”
            Kim: “I’m sorry… ma’am.”
            Janeway: “Ma’am” is acceptable in a crunch, but I prefer “Captain.”

            *grinst* I liked that Scene from Star Trek Voyager. ^^

  • The Horror Guru

    Great analysis, though I think Ursa might have underestimated how hawt Zombie chicks are. ;)

    • MichaelANovelli

      Oh, I get it! The dead stripper is a metaphor for the movie!

  • FullofQuestions1

    So, does finding zombies hot mean that you’re a necrophiliac? I mean, they’re dead but only sort of.

    • MichaelANovelli

      Really, Yulia? We’re really playing The Newly-Dead Game?

  • Jay_Bay

    Hey, when did Kaley Cucuo had time to make this movi…..wait, that’s not here. Oh alright then.

  • $36060516

    I’m guessing this was filmed at a convention everyone involved was attending, but had a laugh at the slight appearance that Ursa didn’t want to be in a room alone with the lascivious Porn Critic and so arranged for the crossover to be filmed in a public space.

    • Jill Bearup

      This is now going to be my stated in-universe reason for that.

      Sadly the real explanation is too dull for words.

  • danbreunig

    The perfect cherry atop this video sundae: (Just because of how you guys are standing there.)

    [both Porn and Sursam facing directly to camera but addressing each other]

    Porn Critic: So, do you want to shoot him here or wait till you get home?

    Sursam Ursa: Shoot him now, shoot him now.

    Porny: You stay out of this–he doesn’t have to shoot you now.

    Sursam: Yeah? [turning to Porny and yelling] Well I say he DOES have to shoot me now!! [running up to Cheap-Arse] So shoot me now!!

    Cheap-Arse: Well, if you say so… [pulling out and aiming his Zombie Attitude Adjuster at Sursam]

    Sursam; [whimpering] …oh shit…

    Courtesy of that ancient but classic Bugs & Daffy bit.

  • mofs

    Well I guess I learned something today. Now off to “Zombie Women of Satre” …

    • Jill Bearup

      Ah, Zombie Women of Sartre. The thinking man’s philosophical naked zombie flick…

      • mofs

        Thinking about it, zombies must have been going through an existential crisis for a few years; for example the Reapers (Blade 2) are running, grey beasts which turn their victims into fellow Reapers, not unlike the Bonies from Warm Bodies, a zombie film. With zombies now able to run, swim and perform day jobs as well as turn people into fellow zombies with a bite how are they different to vampires? Worse looking skin? Lack of soft focus?

        • Jill Bearup

          Yes. But we’ll be talking about that on All Hallows, when we look at my favourite ever zombie movie.

  • mineh

    A question of Ursa, are you going to do a full review of the Legend of Korra’s first season sometime in the future. Since every season is reportedly going to stand on its own?

    • Jill Bearup

      C’est possible. That said, Season 1 hasn’t even been on British TV yet, and won’t be until July. (Same time the DVDs come out in the US, by the by). We shall see.

  • Yes! You mentioned Newsflesh in a video. Awesomeness.