Sep 30, 2019
Zardoz (1974) (part 13 of 15)
The Chef Hats charge forth with the battering ram, eventually breaking through the door of the statuary. They storm inside, followed by some Pathetics. Oh, and all of this is in slow motion. But you knew that, right?
Once inside the statuary, people start knocking over statues [?]. Connie points in multiple random directions and, still in slow motion, shouts, “Thaaaat waaaaay! Therrrrrrrrrre!” Then we cut back to Z-Dawg, staring intently into the crystal ball in a shot that’s a total rip off of M.C. Escher. He hears Frayn’s voice ask again what he sees inside.
Z-Dawg whispers, “Consuella.” Um, no shit, Sherlock. That’s because she’s walking up right behind you, you doof. Connie lifts up a blade, and right before stabbing him, she says, “I’ve ached for this moment!” Then she says, “Mr. Zed, I expect you to die!” She lowers the blade, but abruptly stops before it even reaches him. She shakes violently, while Z-Dawg, still staring into his crystal ball, whispers, “You cannot.”
“You will not,” he says, and Connie tosses the knife to the ground. Yep, this makes about as much sense as anything else in the movie. She then kneels in front of him [?] and Z-Dawg tells her, “The hunt is always better than the kill.” Unless you’re hunting John Boorman, in which case the kill would be pretty sweet, too.