No, YOU’RE Crying Over this Sweet "Screw You, Haters" Ad From Honey Maid Graham Crackers

Last month, Honey Maid graham crackers, which you buy once per year for s’mores and then leave at the back of the cupboard until the mice get them or they turn to dust, aired an ad that said everybody can buy crackers and make s’mores once a year, even the gays and the interracially married. It was a very nice ad!

But there are many many people in America who have the Twitter and the Facebooks and the emails who did not like such a thing, and had to send a pile of haterade to Honey Maid about how they were wrecking the fabric of society blah blah blah. Leading the charge, of course, were head nincompoops the Million Mom March, or whatever they are called, fresh off their complete failure to boycott JC Penney over Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson.

One Million Mom [..] claims they are “highly offended” by Nabisco’s “disrespect of millions of American families by supporting the homosexual agenda,” Right Wing Watch first reported.

“Nabisco should be ashamed of themselves for their latest Honey Maid and Teddy Graham cracker commercial where they attempt to normalize sin,” members of One Million Moms wrote on the group’s website. “Right away it shows two men with a baby, followed by other families, and ends with different families pictured including the one with two dads.”

TWO DADS! Anything but TWO DADS!

In response, Honey Maid graham crackers did not buckle or crumble. Instead, they released an even sweeter ad.

Man, we’re totally going to need to make s’mores twice this year to support them. It’s a price we can pay.


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  • CriticalDragon1177

    Lisa Needham,Now homophobes will claim that they are “persecuting” them with their love.

  • Ian Bruce 伊恩·布鲁斯

    One Million Mom claims [he is] “highly offended” by Nabisco’s “disrespect of millions of American families… ”There. I fixed it. BTW, graham crackers are for more than s’mores. Try covering them in melted dark chocolate — or make a crust for key lime pie, cheesecake, or lemon meringue… They’re pretty damn versatile.

  • temporarily’tom’

    I heard that all three of them were fit to be tied!

  • temporarily’tom’

    10 times as many positive reponses… Weird, it’s almost as if being inclusive of diversity in one of the most (if not THE most) diverse country in the world might actually have positive economic outcome on busisnesses…Who knew? Who could have ever figured THAT out.

    • temporarily’tom’

      and yes, I am no stranger to ‘Charlie Brown’s Christmas’ style tear-ups thank you!

    • I’m beginning to think this the new advertising method. Put out an ad for your product showing inclusiveness, wait for the inevitable conservative screams of rage, then rake in the sales as everyone else runs out to buy your product to spite them.

      • temporarily’tom’

        Amen! And I say go for it. Inclusivity CAN be selfishly motivated…so what. Like the asshole CEO…I just wanna see results goddammit!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m OK with that

  • Deborah Tinsley

    Great ad. Hey if you can go off your gluten/dairy free diet for a day, graham crackers and milk are a great snack and will take you back to grade school days if those are days you cherish.

    • andreamd

      I have had graham crackers in my home since I left home 40 years ago(I remember my mom using graham cracker crumbs for her cheesecake crusts). currently, I have a box of Honey maid cinnamon grahams and a box of their chocolate grahams too.

    • redarmyzombie

      Those of us who won’t suffer gastric agony or permanent nerve damage as a result of lactose/gluten intolerance, we certainly will…

  • Welp, I’m going to find something to encrust in lovey-dovey graham crackers for pie peace and happy happiness.

  • torontomeridith

    I showed the original ad to my five year old son and asked him if he saw anything strange or unpleasant about it. He said, “Nope” and ran off to watch “Heidi,” the classic story of a non-traditional family. Suck it, haters. My son is the future of this god-forsaken planet.

  • cc42

    If One Million Moms really IS one million moms, then why do they only have 64K likes on their FB page?

    • Mrs_Wudi

      Because the name “64,000 Simpering Twits” didn’t have the alliterative ring they were looking for.

    • Arcturus

      Heck, Wonkette has over half that many FB ‘likes’; So perhaps they should start a group called “Half a Million Wonketeers”.

  • Arcturus

    If you are ever out of breakfast cereal, try locating that dusty box of single-use s’more graham crackers, crumbling them up in a bowl and dumping on some milk – it works just great. This is how I cook.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Happy Nice Time is a corporation that pushes back against bigotry, surprisingly enough.

  • NWLefty

    Graham cracker crust, here I come!

  • Antonin Dvorak

    And that is how that is done.

    • Sally Johnson

      Hey, you should write the music for their next ad campaign. That’s where the money is these days.

  • garypatton

    The Million Mom March is a pro gun safety group. Please do not confuse them with One Million Moms, which is a hate group.

    • $73376667

      I think the inclusion of irony quotes in the name of the latter will help differentiate the two.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    Crackers that aren’t racist. The world is changing.

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • docterry6973

    That is nice and I feel happy.

  • Wow, you condemn haters in the headline & then your first sentence is a hate on graham crackers. They’re for more than s’mores (and s’mores are for more than once a yr.), & they’re very healthy. Just ask Rev. Graham.

    • jangoodell

      I like graham crackers, always have. Why I am wholesome

  • jangoodell

    If only the Million Moms could meet my husband and immediately realize that one man/one woman is not the answer to family woes…..

  • kfreed

    You realize that “Million Moms” is really just Tony Perkins and Bryan Fischer, right?