You, The Jury: Vote On These Amazon Prime Television Pilots!

You, The Jury: Vote On These Amazon Prime Television Pilots!

Do you have Amazon Prime? You don’t? How do you impulse buy electronics or bedsheets or dinosaur-themed erotica in the dead of night? If you haven’t signed up for the service, now is an excellent time to get a free trial so you can watch ten different pilots for original shows Amazon is contemplating developing into a series.

How can you resist the siren song of being able to vote a television show out of existence? Don’t you wish you would have had the opportunity to abort “Everyone Loves Raymond” or “Small Wonder”? Think of the years of pain you could have saved America. So go do your patriotic duty and watch these pilots for free (because of course you took our advice and got an Amazon trial) and vote, vote away.

We were going to binge watch all five of them today but then the Editrix yelled something about “doing other work,” so our advice is limited to having watched the trailers. But that’s cool, because snap judgments are how we roll. Also, too, the people at Wired have nicer editors and let someone watch each and every pilot and give each a mini-review, even the other five shows for children. We’re totally not even watching the trailers for the children’s shows.

Here’s the one we’re excited about, yet full of trepidation about at the exact same time. Mozart In The Jungle stars Malcolm McDowell (yay) and has an appearance by Bernadette Peters (double yay). However, it is a look at the scheming and drama behind the scenes of an orchestra (meh to maybe) and is helmed by Jason Schwartzman (yay for most people, super boo for me).

Nope. Nuh uh. Go vote down The Rebelsimmediately please. No one needs a madcap comedy about a lady who is thrust into a man’s man’s man’s man’s football world and will probably triumph, but only after there are some hilarious awkward hijinks. You have the power to make this thing go away.

We kinda don’t care about an adaptation of Michael Connelly’s books, and we’re kinda full up on police procedurals, but we will probably upfist Boschanyway because it has The Wire’s Lance Reddick, who is always great.

There’s also The After, which looks like it stars JJ Abrams’s Shaky-Cam, so get on giving that some love if that’s your kind of thing.

Last but not least, maybe, The Transparent. We have no idea what this is about from the trailer, honestly. Theoretically, Jeffrey Tambor shows up in this, which is a good thing, but he’s not here in this 30-second silly lady walk-and-talk, so who can say.

Get to it, people, and watch and vote, because we have no idea whatsoever when the voting period ends, and you wouldn’t want to miss a chance to exercise your civic entertainment duty.

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