Yahoo! Decides To Make Managers Rank Employees Arbitrarily Because Everyone Loves That

Yahoo! Decides To Make Managers Rank Employees Arbitrarily Because Everyone Loves That

We’ve already spent some quality time this morning wondering what the fuck, Yahoo!, since they managed to snag Matt Bai away from the New York Times and brag about it on Tumblr. Now we learn that Yahoo!, under the increasingly inexplicable tenure of Marissa Mayer, is implementing any number of synergistic proactive measures to move the ball forward and incentivize employees and Jesus Christ it sounds terrible. Matt Bai, you must really have hated the New York Times to leave for this. 600 people have been let go in the last few months, thanks to things like this awesome idea.

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[S]ome inside the company are incensed that the “Quarterly Performance Review” system forces managers to rank some of their staff with designations of “Occasionally Misses” and “Misses,” even if it is not the case, via what is essentially a modified bell curve. Those fired recently had gotten lower scores at least two times in recent quarters, said multiple sources, as I reported last week.

Cool story, bro. Now your manager has to arbitrarily decide you did something wrong in order to make sure they average out to a B-. Too bad if you didn’t do that thing wrong, employee! Gotta keep that bell curve belling. That won’t make anyone feel like their employment life is a topsy-turvy unnavigable hellscape, nosiree. Also fun: giving your employees no real rationale for your decisions except “because I say so.”

Good luck and godspeed, Matt Bai. You’re going to need it.

[All Things D/Valleywag]

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