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Superheroes, ranked (by singing ability)
Jul 11, 2018
Xanadu (1980) (part 1 of 7)
The Cast of Characters:
Kira (Olivia Newton-John). A muse. Supposedly Terpsichore, the muse of dance and dramatic chorus. But she doesn’t dance so much as skip about, and as for dramatic chorus… Well, there’s hardly any drama in this movie. But boy, can she sing. And sing. And sing.
Danny McGuire (Gene Kelly). A clarinet player. Can out-dance and out-act most of the main cast, yet somehow spends the entire movie getting dissed by everyone instead.
Sonny Malone (Michael Beck). An artist. Spends half of the movie whining, and the other half obsessing over a woman who technically doesn’t exist. Beck doesn’t receive top billing, despite being the main character and having the most screen time. Which should tell you something right there.
Kira (Olivia Newton-John). A muse. Supposedly Terpsichore, the muse of dance and dramatic chorus. But she doesn’t dance so much as skip about, and as for dramatic chorus… Well, there’s hardly any drama in this movie. But boy, can she sing. And sing. And sing.Danny McGuire (Gene Kelly). A clarinet player. Can out-dance and out-act most of the main cast, yet somehow spends the entire movie getting dissed by everyone instead.Sonny Malone (Michael Beck). An artist. Spends half of the movie whining, and the other half obsessing over a woman who technically doesn’t exist. Beck doesn’t receive top billing, despite being the main character and having the most screen time. Which should tell you something right there.
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LaShawn Wanak
When not burying her face in a book or wiping snot off her preschooler, LaShawn can often be found hunched over her laptop, churning out short stories and cackling madly. She likens bad movies to fried twinkies--greasy, fattening, full of empty calories, and very, very addictive.
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