Women Don’t Masturbate Enough


Ladies. What did you do this morning? Perhaps you took a shower, brushed your teeth, walked the dog, got the kids to school? Maybe you warmed up the car or did Jazzercise. The important question is, did you fuck yourself? If statistics are to be believed, you probably didn’t. And that makes us really sad. In fact, according to our friends at Five Thirty Eight, chicks barely touch themselves in their down-therea (use it in a sentence today) at all: “Only 1.5 percent of women ages 30 to 39 masturbated four or more times per week” (btw, the data comes from Indiana “We Love to Fukk” University’s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior.) We agree with the feministers over at Feministing: “It’s time for your semi-regularly scheduled reminder that masturbating is fun and healthy and will not, in fact, cause hairy palms or whatever the hell the anti-sex brigade is claiming these days.” Just look at this chart, jeez.

Masturbation Chart

Okay, here’s some inspiration for you. Never say we didn’t do anything for you doing yourself.


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