VIDEO: Wild Wild West (1999)

Suzie, AKA the Blockbuster Chick, joins the site with a review of Wild Wild West, the 1999 dud based on the ’60s TV show, starring Will Smith and Kevin Kline as two 1860s government agents brought together by President Ulysses S. Grant to foil a diabolical plot by a legless Kenneth Branagh. Hijinks, loads of dick/boob jokes, giant spiders, and Salma Hayek’s naked ass ensue.

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  • Arcadiassx999

    Hey SMc,Couldn’t get the accent in the begining there, but i got it eventually, Irish? I lived in Dublin, Ireland working for Murikami, Wolf, Swenson’s animation company back in the early 90’s. Anyway, enjoyed your review, films like that really get under my skin and make me want to scream. If you watch “A Night with Kevin Smith” he as some great stories about his time wring for a new Superman returns script with producer Jon Peters who went on to produce W.W.W. But please the next time your gonna watch that film again, call me and ill suggest something better. )p

    • The Blockbuster Chick

      Hey Arcadia, glad you liked the review. I’m actually Scottish, but people tend to confuse it because it does sound very mixed. I was born in England, my family are all Scottish and I moved back to Scotland 10 years ago so…there ya go lol :)

      • Olaf_the_Lofty

        “Scaw’esh”, to pronounce it properly. Nice to meet a fellow Scot. Hiya fae Fife! Also, this was really funny and you know how to act the reactions to draw the audience along with you instead of just telling them things. The only problem is the cringe-making awfulness of the clips, but that’s inevitable in a show like this. Thank you very much for making me laugh, and I look forward to more episodes!

  • Greenhornet

    The origonal Wild Wild West was “steampunk”, but it was subtle. This movie was in-your-face OBNOXIOUS about it. Now add the “Will Smith is BLAAAACK!!!” idiotcy that constitutes his entire character and you have an insult on film.
    By the way, why did the ex-Confederates still support him after their fellows were slaughtered? Why did Loveless kill them in the first place?Other than to show that he’s EEEVIL?

  • DavidWilmotLow

    welcome to the site, BBC :)

  • Elfshotthefood

    I never saw this movie, but I did eat the tie-in hamburger at Burger King. I was sick for three days.

  • Sillstaw

    It’s disturbing how much Kevin Kline looks like Patrick Swayze when he’s in drag.

    • Concerned

      That sounds like a good idea for a biopic on his life.

  • Concerned

    Nice work. You did fine.

    • Sikk

      Yes. And your point is?

  • Quiettime2005

    Hey Suzie, good job, but take it down a couple of notches, will ya? You don’t have to throw every cutesy trope in existence into the video.

  • Jeff Bradford

    A step up in the ways of new shows here on the Agony Booth. You really had some good jokes and quirks throughout and it kept me interested, even though I already knew this movie was shit.

  • The Blockbuster Chick

    Hey guys,
    I just wanted to say thank you all for commenting on my 1st video on Agony Booth and I look forward to (hopefully) entertaining you all with my future episodes to come :) Oh and Quiettime…don’t worry, the cutesy tropes in my reviews to come do tone down. This review was from over a year ago and people did comment on the number of references in this one, so don’t worry, this does become more toned down lol :)

  • Glad to see you on the site here Suzie. I’ve been watching your show on youtube for a month or two now. :) It probably goes without saying but the only money this movie made was from people who paid for tickets to WWW(which I like to call World War III since it was so goddamn horrible) but went to see the South Park movie instead. :D

    If there’s one trope I am SICK of seeing, it’s that guys are almost always attracted to guys in drag(even when it’s painfully obvious that it’s a guy in drag) over people who are obviously women… that’s about the stupidest and most well-worn joke in the world. But whatever I think, all the sex scenes are really damn stupid.

  • Jeff Bradford

    That deserved a second viewing ;)

  • The Crazy Fish

    Wow. Even after 13 years the most coherent defense anyone can give for why they hated this movie is “action movies aren’t allowed to have comedy in them.”

    One of the worst videos I’ve seen on this site, and not just because I don’t agree about the movie being bad. The fake accent was almost as distracting as the constant screeching of memes and the random jumps to barely-relevant cartoon clips.

    We get it. Anything that isn’t perfectly serious, humor-free high drama isn’t proper cinema, much less fit for the viewing of such a classy and highbrow lady as yourself. Lovely. I’d like to stress again that normally I make a point of at least listening to opinions I disagree with. To do otherwise is intellectual cowardice. But in this case suffering through this BS just to hear an opinion that wasn’t even right when the person you stole it from said it…well, it’s just not worth it.

    • The Blockbuster Chick

      I’m really sorry you feel that way about this particular video and if anything I said it in offended you in any way then all I can do is apologise and just say that…you don’t have to watch it. If you do recall I did say that the movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, saying that I did find some parts of it entertaining. And in no way am I saying that action movies aren’t allowed to have comedy in them, after all, one of my favourite movies is Die Hard 4 and that has some very comical moments in it so that is not the issue here. Also, I don’t appreciate being accused of putting on an accent! Personal attacks I hate! I AM Scottish. I was born in England and moved up to Scotland 10 years ago so yes, my accent is mixed but I do not want you or anyone to think I FAKE an accent to use for a video show because even I say that is tacky! And one last note to close on. This review is over a year old. I do have current videos. And I would also like to know exactly whose opinion I stole because I was lead to believe that people are allowed to have their own opinions and thoughts about movies/music/tv shows that they see/hear. This review was my opinion. You can’t say it was the wrong opinion just because you feel a different way about the movie. So please don’t insult me by accusing me of stealing ideas and thoughts from other people and using them as my own. I watched the movie, I wrote the review, end of story. Again, I’m sorry if you personally felt offended from my video, but that’s your opinion, this video was mine. And let’s stop with the personal attacks from now on & leave it at that.

  • Thomas Stockel

    Good review. I got a chuckle from it and I respect your defense of the film. If you didn’t think it sucked as much as other people think then that is your opinion. Now that I know you have a Youtube channel I have to check it out. :)

  • Joe in Seattle

    Thank you for this. It really was the worst movie of the decade. You didn’t even mention the thing that typifies this film. At the end of the escape-from-the-metal-collars scene, the “heroes” ride away on horses. WHERE DID THE HORSES COME FROM? And I’m not sure was worse, that a breezy summer blockbuster would include the lynching of a black man by white bigots, or the fact that we’re supposed to believe that Will Smith can just sort of call “time out” on the lynching by, um, starting to talk. It was a whole year before I saw another film with such an incredible contempt for its audience (hint: L. Ron Hubbard, Travolta, and fighter jets still in perfect working order after 1000 years).

  • Jill Bearup

    Welcome to the Booth Chickadee!

    I’m thinking the female reviewers on the site can get together and have a weird-accent-off. Kinda-Dutch vs. Mostly-Scottish vs. Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot-Northern-Irish-ish?

    It’ll be awesome.

    But probably unintelligible.

  • Soli

    Ah, this movie. Not enough mockery can be shoveled out at it, as far as I’m concerned.

    Although regarding the opening credits, those are apparently meant to resemble the old TV show.