May 13, 2020
Which TV Universe Would You Want to Visit on Vacation?
It’s time for our weekly conversation starter. Feel free to use this astute question to kickstart a meaningful exchange with someone of your favorite gender this weekend.
If the holodeck were invented tomorrow and you could take a week’s vacation in any TV universe, where would you go? (Assume the safety functions will work flawlessly so you could not possibly be injured or killed.)
Sorry, but I’m not going to make any assumptions about the holodeck. Those things NEVER work right – especially the safety protocols. Even hypothetically, the risk is ginormous. Joining the Scoobies and helping Buffy Summers save the world for a week may sound like a lot of fun, but non-regular characters rarely make it out alive or not monsterized. I just can’t take that chance. I’d like to go with something safer, maybe in a good climate, surrounded by pretty things. Hmmm, swimming pools, movie stars. Doesn’t sound half bad. Sign me up for a week with the Clampetts. I’m moving to the Hills of Beverly. I can help Ellie Mae take care of her critters, listen to some of Granny’s oral history, enjoy a daily swim in the cee-ment pond, and maybe hit up Jed for some cash to go shopping on Rodeo Drive.
Perhaps it’s a bit unoriginal since the whole question is premised on a holodeck, but what more spectacular universe is there to explore than Star Trek: The Next Generation? Drop me into Season 3 when things finally come together, and I’ll spend my week debating the philosophical ramifications of allegorical space monsters with Captain Jean-Luc Picard himself…and then blasting them to smithereens with photon torpedoes. Maybe me and Riker can go chasing space-booty, Beverly can space-magic away my space-herpes, Worf can space-punch me in the face, Troi can offer obvious and unhelpful advice, and Data can make unintentionally comical quips throughout the whole thing. Also, Geordi will be there, I guess. And if I ever get bored, well, there’s always the holodeck.
If I could go to any TV universe, I would want to go to Happy Days. I mean, it’s such an innocent, idyllic world where the worst problem is that Richie got roped into some wacky hijinks with Potsie and Ralph and Joanie is hanging around too much with Jenny Piccolo. Plus, if I ever had trouble, I can just go to The Fonz and he’d make everything go away with one well-timed tap to the jukebox. Plus, the food at Arnold’s always looked so good. I mean, I wouldn’t turn down Mrs. C’s meatloaf and veggies, but give me an old fashioned milkshake and a dance to “Rock Around the Clock.”
I’ve always kind of wondered what it might be like to live in the dark seductive playground for the supernatural that is New Orleans, as portrayed in the CW series The Originals. Rich with culture, great music, and a history that’s stranger than fiction, New Orleans always seemed to me to be one of the most interesting and multifaceted characters on the show.
From raucous street parades and boozy bar crawls, to cemetery showdowns and opulent soirées in the Mikaelson mansion, there is always a party to attend in The Originals’ New Orleans, no matter what time of day. And since everybody who visits seems to accidentally get turned into a sexy vampire, you never have to worry about being too old or too ugly to enjoy them!
Sure, the constant blood cravings could prove annoying, and the regular intervals of bloodshed amongst your constantly warring friends and family would definitely put a damper on your happy buzz. But hey, it’s all a reasonable sacrifice to make to the party gods? Right?
What say you? Which TV universe do you most want to visit?
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