Jul 3, 2019
Which Game of Thrones character are you (voting for)?
When you play the game of votes, you win or you… write a book and go on the lecture circuit. Okay, American elections aren’t quite as exciting as Game of Thrones. For one thing, we have a serious dearth of dragons. And don’t get me started on the lack of ice zombies. Still, the real world isn’t quite as far from the Seven Kingdoms as you might think. In fact, many of the characters are shockingly similar…
The article continues after these advertisements...
Hillary Clinton is… Queen Daenerys
Once upon a time, she was merely the bride of a king… but her husband’s reign came to end, and she’s been running the show ever since. Whether you see her as a destructive, power-craving she-devil or a righteous, relentless champion of the people, you’ve got to admit she’s one badass mother… of dragons. Also, it’s pretty clear that she’s the one who’s gonna win in the end.
Donald Trump is… King Stannis
Whether you see him as a deluded, narcissistic, contemptuous asshole or a… um, is there another way to see him? Deeply ensconced in his own worshipful cult, there’s little point of trying to convince him of anything but his own greatness. He attempts to rule primarily by insult and fiat, scorning the country’s established power structure and demanding its subservience just because he is who he is.
Tim Kaine is… Eddard Stark
Ever the noble father figure. In the beginning, it seemed like he might be important, but he vanished from the plot long before things really got going.
Mike Pence is… Tywin Lannister
Another stoic father figure. Happy to let far more foolish and flamboyant rulers wear the crown in public, he actually wields far more power than the king in the back rooms where the laws and policies are set.
More from Team Clinton…
Huma Abedin is… Cersei Lannister
Who knows what great things she might accomplish if she hadn’t been saddled with that sleazy, lecherous, idiot husband long before all this got started?
John Podesta is… Bran Stark
He’s probably really important and going to do great things, but you can go entire seasons forgetting he exists.
Bernie Sanders is… Jon Snow
As a bastard/independent, he was never really supposed to be part of the power structure or ascend to anything, but he became a fan favorite and now finds himself leading a largely independent army of followers who could determine the fate of the kingdom.
Bill Clinton is… Tyrion Lannister
Yeah, he’s a philandering weasel, but admit it, his brains and charisma make him the most interesting guy on your TV.
More from Team Trump…
Ivanka Trump is… Sansa Stark
You constantly underestimate her because she’s beautiful and she seems demure compared to the rest of her family and the world she lives in. But don’t be fooled. She’s smart and patient and has a finely honed sense of self-preservation.
Donald Trump, Jr., is… Ramsay Bolton
Eric Trump is… Joffrey Baratheon
Kellyanne Conway is… Melisandre
A dangerous friend and more dangerous enemy, she has King Stannis’s ear… except when she doesn’t. Too often she finds she has created a monster beyond her control.
Steve Bannon is… Varys
The least honest and reliable of them all. He understands that information is a weapon, especially if it’s false information, and he’ll use it ruthlessly for his own purposes.
James Comey is… Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger)
Allegedly an impartial servant of the crown, he pops up when he’s least expected to put his finger on the scale when it suits him.
Ted Cruz is… Margaery Tyrell
He’ll marry himself to whoever he has to in order climb that much closer to power.
Jeb Bush is… Viserys Targaryen
Noooo, it’s my turn to be king! My turn! Give it to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!