May 29, 2018
When Time Ran Out... (1980) (part 6 of 8)
At Mona’s, everyone runs out into the street, only to get knocked to the ground by a tremor. Tiny drops the rooster and runs after it. Sam, Mona, and two of the whores pile into a Suburban. Yeah, don’t offer anybody else a lift in your spacious cargo area. Meanwhile, Tiny and Kelly chase their stupid rooster up and down the street far too many times. I hope Alex could chase a football better than he could this rooster.
This display of inanity displeases the loa gods, so a giant tidal wave a good 400 feet high is sent crashing down on them and the rest of the town. Would it really be that high? I know there’s always a tidal wave that comes in after these island volcanoes erupt, but the most I remember hearing about was maybe 60 to 100 feet high.
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Also, all the water should have been sucked out of the bay or cove or whatever, but it appears normal from the hotel. And the hotel stays awfully dry for being so near the beach. Even if they were high enough, which doesn’t seem likely, they still should have been able to look down and see the tidal wave hit. Which, by the way, is what Sam and Mona and the girls are now doing. Yes, even though they left only seconds before, they’re now a few miles away and safe from the wave.
Back at the hotel veranda, Hank and Kay witness the volcano erupt, yet again. These look like pretty severe eruptions for not being the main eruption.
Random Idiot #1 tells a group of other Random Idiots, “C’mon, if we don’t go now, we’re all gonna die!” And somehow knowing exactly what he means, they all run to Hank’s helicopter. Hank hops over the veranda to try and stop them, screaming that there’s no place for them to go. But they knock him down and swarm the helicopter like a bunch of polyester-wearing ants.
The early birds fight off the too late folks, and with people packed inside and hanging onto the skids, the helicopter barely manages to get off the ground. The skid hangers-on each take turns falling off in a variety of places: some in trees, a couple into the ocean, and all the while everyone on the veranda watches in horror.
Being Random Idiots though, they didn’t think to take a pilot with them, and after a couple of wild sweeps over the ocean, whoever was jammed against the controls slams the helicopter into a cliff. If you follow the camera work, the cliff appears to be on the opposite side of the hotel, but everyone on the veranda can still see it fine and react with “oohs”. Hope you had insurance, Hank.
Sam, Mona and the girls arrive at the hotel and find Hank. Sam tells Hank that Tiny and Kelly were killed by the tidal wave, along with everyone else in town. How’d you like that on your headstone? “Died chasing a rooster.” I’d have to laugh at that. But again, the surf here looks completely normal, with small breakers and everything. I guess that’s just another one of the fine features of a luxury hotel.
Hank walks around a corner and leans against the wall, either in remembrance of Tiny or of his helicopter. Kay tries to console him, but the volcano erupts again and that cues the next round of staring into the distance.
Suddenly, flaming rocks the size of Toyotas start falling near the hotel. One explodes near the veranda. Conti pushes Findly out of the way, and exploding rock flames set him on fire. Findly watches in horror for a couple of seconds before taking off his jacket and beating the flames out.
Other Toyotas start exploding nearby and Bob senses that there may, in fact, be a hint of danger in all of this, so he orders everyone to the lower terrace. Hank tells Kay he’s going to take a jeep up to the top of the ridge and see what’s happening. She helps tend the wounded.
A doctor bandages up Conti’s eyes, saying he thinks the wounds are only superficial. Findly tries to reassure Conti that he’ll be okay and that a specialist can help him. He feels really guilty because Conti saved his life. Hmm. A moral dilemma for the crook. How ever will that turn out? I just can’t imagine!
Two minutes later, Hank is back from finding a jeep, driving to the top of the ridge, surveying the situation and driving back. He is fast! He tells Bob that the lava is still coming and piling up against the ridge, and he doesn’t think it will stay there. They can’t wait for the ships to come. “We’ve got to get the hell out of here and right now!”
Bob asks just where he thinks they might go. Hank asks Brian if there’s safe ground on the other side of the crater. Brian tells him there’s the “high forest”. Sam agrees that the high forest would be safe, as do the other Smart People. Bob, on the other hand, says they’re all crazy and the lava will get them before they make it.
“You know that’s not true,” Brian says. “You know the lava field as well as I do. We played there as children. If we get to the lava field, we can make it to the forest.” Bob quiets down.
Hank says it’s good enough for him, and calls everyone’s attention. “The lava’s still coming this way. We’re going to try to make it to a safe place on the other side of that crater. Anyone who wants to join us, be in front of the hotel in five minutes. And it’s rough country, so dress for it.”
Bob, however, counters with this very reasonable speech.
|Bob: Listen to me! We’ve got everything we need right here. Now this is my island and I know it better than anyone. Believe me, this hotel has been built to last, it’s grounded in bedrock! And I tell you, you stay! You stay right here. This is your only chance. And don’t be panicked by easily frightened men. You wanna follow this man? Why are your men dead, Hank? Why? I’ll tell you why, because they didn’t come here where they’d be safe. No. No! You wouldn’t let them come like I told you. You wouldn’t listen to me! Now their deaths are on your head!|
To which, Hank decks him. Thank you!
Shelby knocks on Nikki’s door and tells her to get dressed quickly, and come with them to safety. Nikki hesitates and asks what Bob had to say. Shelby says Bob refuses to believe there’s danger or a need to leave. Nikki says Bob’s right, so Shelby grabs her by the arm and says she’s his responsibility. She breaks free and says her place is with Bob, “right or wrong.” Shelby tells her Bob only married her to get to him, but she denies it and says Bob loves her.
Exasperated, Shelby says, “Why can’t I make you understand?” But then he immediately backs off. They exchange a series of meaningful glances from which I can only infer that someone just let one. Shelby stops and turns at her door, saying, “Goodbye, Nikki,” with an awful lot of finality. Appropriate, too, since she just sealed her fate with that stupid “right or wrong” statement.
Brian walks into Bob’s office and Bob tells him he shouldn’t have given the others hope. Brian says he’s leading the group and makes a point of saying he’s taking Iolani with him. Which is kind of odd, since he still doesn’t suspect anything’s going on between her and Bob. Bob says Iolani is staying and so is he. Brian tells him he must lead them or they won’t make it, so Bob tries to bribe him into staying. He tells Brian the hotel is half his because—surprise, surprise—Brian is Bob’s half brother! But you figured that out already, right? Only non-Polynesian looking Brian wasn’t aware.
Brian’s a little slow, as movie natives always are, and doesn’t understand why Bob waited the six years since he learned about it to tell him. Bob lies and says he wanted his brother to be educated in business. Slowly, Brian’s synapses start to fire and he figures out Bob was ashamed of him. He tells Bob he doesn’t want his charity or his hotel, but it would have been kinda nice to have had a real brother. He leaves and Bob yells after him that if he leaves, he loses it all. Which is sorta funny, because Bob’s staying, and he’s about to lose it all.
Brian runs into Iolani, who was on her way to see Bob. Brian tells her they’re leaving. Iolani asks, “Is Bob coming?” Argh! What is with these women? He’s not that charming, girls! Iolani says she’s staying with Bob, and that she’s in love with him and not Brian. So kind of a bad day for Brian. Inherits a fortune and a brother, gets cut out of it all and his new brother steals his girlfriend. That’s tough! She tells him she’s sorry, and the obligatory stare down occurs. At least she didn’t say she hoped they could still be friends.