Wednesday in the blurbs

bert the farting hippo

The case of the flatulent hippo… the return of the Tanners… and lingering a little too long on Michael Sam in the shower. We’ve got all this and more today in the blurbs.

You know what, I’m just gonna go ahead and call this guy an asshole. First, he was a Super Bowl-winning running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now he’s “on the writing team of a new show that will air on HBO next summer.” Two dream jobs in one lifetime? That’s just greedy. Fuck you, Rashard Mendenhall. I can’t believe I ever had you on fantasy team. (No word which HBO show he’s writing for.)

St. Louis Rams defensive end Chris Long, on the other hand, is awesome. He tweeted, “Dear ESPN, everyone but you is over it,” after the sportsball network lingered a little too long on the locker room showering habits of the chipper, upbeat, jovial, and otherwise gay Michael Sam.

When you tell me MGM TV is looking to reboot In the Heat of the Night as a TV series, I shrug. When you tell me Tate Taylor (writer and director of The Help) and Warren Littlefield (who brought Fargo to the small screen) are the ones managing the project, I sit up and take notice. Variety has the exclusive.

Are you ready for Full House: The Next Generation? Warner Brothers is developing a revival with at least some of the original cast. I hear the pilot involves D.J. Tanner arranging a threesome with a sexy hooker for her husband’s birthday.

Any interest in a TV series that takes place at the insane asylum from Shutter Island? The author of the original novel is co-penning a script. (Other Dennis Lehane novels include Mystic River and Gone Baby Gone.) Scorsese and Leo are also involved, one as a potential director for the pilot and the other as exec producer.

After preening self-absorbed asshole Juan Pablo made everyone hate him last season on The Bachelor, the show’s producers are deliberately running as far as they can in the opposite direction next time with newly announced Bachelor “Farmer Chris.” Salt of the earth and all around nice guy, Iowa farm boy Chris Soules was a fan favorite on The Bachelorette.

Bert the Farting Hippo is at the center of a $700,000 lawsuit at  CBS. A U.S. manufacturer claims it has sole rights to produce the NCIS prop, which has appeared in a dozen episodes, and is suing the network for allegedly selling knockoffs made in China.

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