Jun 5, 2019
Your Unavoidable Miley Cyrus Post Is Finally Here
We kept trying not to write about Miley Cyrus because of all the writing about Miley Cyrus that seemed to be happening everywhere else. But we really can’t avoid her indefinitely now, can we?
She has a number one song in which she removes all of her clothes:
…which we are cool with but for the fact that it seems to have inspired college dudebros to take off all of their clothes and swing atop a wrecking ball a la Miley.
Also, too, she was dating Liam Hemsworth, the man who is but a pale shadow of Thor, his older brother, but they have now broken up and there is much sadness and much unfollowing of each other on twitter, which is the new “Dear John” letter maybe. Today we have learned, and it is Very Important Indeed, that Thorlite gave Hannah Montana a $100,000 engagement ring which he would like her to keep because token of love something something. Yes, you poor SOB. Gale from Hunger Games makes such an incredible whack of money that he can straight up give away a ring that costs many many monies more than my yearly salary. Someone come hold me while I weep.