VIDEO: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

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Sofie reviews The Twilight Saga: New Moon, the second film in the insanely popular series about sparkly vampires, or “wampires”, as the case may be. Edward decides his kind is too dangerous to be around Bella, so he goes into contrived self-exile, leaving Bella to screech like a maniac for months before finally finding comfort with hot werewolf Jacob. Alas, Sofie’s endless mocking of the movie earns her the wrath of Pia (played by Sofie Liv), a scantily-clad airhead who breaks into Sofie’s house to share a love of all things Twilight!

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Tag: Twilight

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  • YES!!!! Sofie once more proves how hard she rocks!:D

    • Sofie Liv

       Thanks :D

  • Launchpad25

    ‘Puny Sulk.’

    • Sofie Liv

       :,D

  • MichaelANovelli

    I loved it, Sofie!  But dammit, now I’m gonna have to bring back Sgt. Snookums if you’re gonna do the whole Dr. Insano thing, too…

    • Sofie Liv

      When did I ever indicate you shouldn’t or tried to stop you?

      All thought, remember my rule that I am NOT going to make a doctor Insano (even if I do own a pair of his glasses.) and am NOT going to make a bum, it just wont happen, I will try and make my original characters.

      • MichaelANovelli

        We’re wacky opposites, that means we must be in constant competition with each other…

        • Sofie Liv

           Ah, I see.

          Then your sgt Snookums character is stupid while all of my creations clearly are works of genius… mostly.. on a good day.

  • StevePotter

    Forgive me if this is out of line or too forward, but umm… you’re sort of ridiculously beautiful and amazingly funny. Thought you ought to know.

    • Sofie Liv

       It’s not, it’s very very sweet. Thank you :)

      I think you made me blush a little there.. X)

      • StevePotter

        No problem!

  • Jm_james

    Good review, all the Twilight movies suck, but this is the worst. Love the musical cue from Reefer Madness! It’s one of my favorite musicals.

    • Sofie Liv

      Then you clearly havn’t seen the third movie :/
      These movies honestly gets progressively worse and worse.
      That’s the Brains plan you see, every movie makes you that little bit dumber.

      Mine to! I honestly love that movie to bits! and that Romeo and Juliet song, it fitted to good for me not to use it, cause Mary Lane and Jimmy misses the point of Romeo and Juliet exactly as much as this movie does, only in Reefer Madness that was the point, it was played for laughs, and like every-thing else in that movie, it was GLORIUS!

  • Elizabethspectrum

    I could have a tiny bit of respect for the Twilight movies if they dropped the whole stupid “romance” aspect and instead made it like an American version of the Japanese “Tomie” manga (its basically stories that revolve around an evil demon girl named Tomie who gains power by making people love her and then she leads them to their horrible, lingering deaths because she is a spiteful monster who makes people suffer to make her feel important, so I might see a similarity between her and Bella :P). They could just make Bella some kind of demon or witch and she could also secretly hate vampires and werewolfs and she could use her evil powers to seduce Edward and Jacob just so she could throw them away when she gets bored of them or something. But no, we are supposed to feel all sad and crap because Bella and Edwards “relationship” is just not working out in this movie.

    P.S. how in the hell did they get Martin Sheen in this? Did he owe someone a favor?   

    • Sofie Liv

       Bleh, I don’t know.
      And I don’t mind vampire romance at all, but for christ sakes make it good wont you!

      I was sitting watching the “Dark Shadows.” revival from 1991, wauw was that good! You could feel it had soap opera origins, the plot worked like an soap opera, but every-thing worked so well.

      Also.. there was a kind of twist to the whole. “Becoming a vampire so I can be with my vampire boy-friend.” thing.

      Spoilers! In the dark shadows revival, at some point a main character goes back in time to meet the vampire before he was a vampire and his one true love before she die, in the cause of the story he becomes a vampire. (die and then returns.) so he returns to the love of his life, she decides very quickly she wants to become a vampire to so they can be together. (There we go, the Bella plot.) BUT moments before he is about to give her the finale bite, she suddenly gets very veery gory visions about the life they would be leading, about the killings her love has done the last couple of days (which he does, and are deaths we do see, he kills freaking characters we had become familiar with for a while.) and she cannot bear to become such monster so she throws herself of a cliff to stop it. Dang!
      And then we havn’t even gone into the vampire who’s been a vampire for.. about two weeks, is killing some-body new every-night, is completely disgusted about what he has become but can’t help himself from killing more, and the whole story leads up to him inwardly being the cause of his own families suffering, his mom goes crazy when she sees standing there alive again, he kills his aunt as he looses his temper, and at last he searches out his father, reveals himself and asks his father to end his suffering by impaling him.  Only his father can’t do it, and chains him to a coffee instead, so he lays until 1991 where the plot of the series begin. All of that is but a fraction of what happens in that show, I feel for him the vampire, I feel for her, I feel for every-one else, i’m sucked into the love plot, soap operatic as it might be, it’s only 12 one hour episodes, twilight, vampire diaries, true blood and all that other shit EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT!

      How they got Martin Sheen, I don’t know :/
      He got a nifty pay check for just shortly showing up I guess.

      • The_Stig

        Your hatred for True Blood and The Vampire Diaries only makes me love you more.

        • Sofie Liv

           X) 

          sooo much bad romance out there, and vampire romance can be good.
          It’s been done tons better so many places, Buffy the Vampire slayer, as I stated above the Dark Shadows 1991 revival, a lot of different Dracula interpretations, BBC’s being human. I’ve seen all of that and enjoyed it, so I don’t know why Hollywood has such a difficult time doing it decently. sigh..

          • The_Stig

            That’s because Hollywood is a soulless factory of easily-digestible crap. Studios don’t care about what’s good, they only care about opening weekend so they can make enough to support their cocaine habits.

          • Sofie Liv

             Well. the directors and writers ought to care!
            those people are supposed to be artists with real integrity, I don’t know, the twilight franchise actually got some pretty good directors on-board for some of the movies, and yeah.. I would never ever know it was that particular director whom directed, I choose to believe they were tied on hands and legs and nothing is their fault :/

            I mean jesus, the director of “Hard candy.” a superp brutal horror movie and several movies like it ended up directing the third Twilight movie.. it almost doesn’t compute!
            At least he got a good pay-check out of it -_-; 

          • The_Stig

            They ought to, but most don’t. Take Brett Ratner for instance, who admitted the whole reason he became a filmmaker was to get laid (I’m being completely serious). 

            Fortunately, SOME directors still give a damn about quality. However, I’m of the belief that any good movie starts with a good script. There are VERY few directors working today have the vision and talent to turn manure into a Michaelangelo. Kubrick could do it, Welles could do it, Ridley Scott used to be able to do it. We need more Mamets and less Kurtzmans and Orcis. 

          • Sofie Liv

             I agree, I think “Writers.” are some-thing wastly underestimated in a movie creating process.
            I sat and listened to the audio commentary of “Sherlock.” a series which I adore to no end, and it was very apparent from that commentary that the writers of the episodes had a lot to say about the filming, they were there for the choosing of actors, they were out on set, they were there doing the entire process, they did a lot of the stuff directors normally do. And the series WORKS on so many levels, every-thing clicks, every-thing fits, it’s a television series made of genius. Also in Doctor who I get a definite sense that the writers have surprisingly much to say, especially compared to the general Hollywood production.

            I blatantly admit, when I review these movies, I am generally much more story focused, thus script focused, than any-thing else!

            Why is Guilmoro Del-toro such a great director? Because he is ALSO a great writer! he is the writer behind his own manuscripts and it allows for far better projects. So yeah, more time needs to be devoted on the writing.

            You also want to know why Pixar movies are so damn good? Post-production! A pixar movie consequently uses just as much time on post-production (which is where you find out the story.) as the animation itself! you got the whole magic formula right there, post production! use as much energy on the writing as the effects. And it’s not uncommon Hollywood starts shooting on a movie that doesn’t even have a finished script, that’s just embarrassing!

          • The_Stig

            Exactly.  Hollywood producers don’t want good, they want marketable. Yet they’d rather churn out crap and blame piracy for loss of profits when the LAST thing movies are doing is losing money. Ticks me off.

    • CDiehl

      Martin Sheen isn’t in this movie. That’s Michael Sheen, and honestly, this wasn’t his first time at the goofy-ass movie rodeo.

  • MephLord

    I love you Sofie, but trying to come across as angry in English seems too difficult for you.  I’d recommend that when you really get angry you swear in Danish and provide English subtitles to allow for more natural speech.  That is my only suggestion on an otherwise great review, and even seeing the trailers of this movie it looked bad and stupid.

    Also you have a great antagonist character developing, she seems the fangirl that buys things like Megan Fox is a good actress or that Green Lantern will have 10 movies.

    • Sofie Liv

      yeah.. I thought so myself as I sat an edited that..
      And I know if I do it right, I can be do it pretty good in Danish.. also I don’t think it helped that that rant was the last thing I filmed and i was pretty tired.. practise I guess.
      (all though, I gennerally have a problem when it comes to playing angry or evil or any-thing like that, I often try and find ways around the usual thing of doing it, simply because my look and voice doesn’t make for a good angry person.)

      Well we see, I don’t know which characters i’ll ever be using again, i’m just trying different stuff.

      Thanks :)

      • MephLord

        If Cecil would let you borrow Mittenhand, it would be great if he showed up while you swore in Danish to provide the subtitles, frowning that you aren’t speaking in English as a kind of in-joke for the Agony Booth.  I think it would be entertaining to have Mittenhand as the translator so to speak. :)

        And subjecting yourself to all the Twilight movies, you really do want an excuse to need therapy later in life.

      • StevePotter

        Anger is always really hard to get across, because when you’re acting or performing, you’re usually having a ball. It’s easier on stage, when you can just let loose, but on film it’s pretty difficult to get across.

        • Sofie Liv

           If it was just a matter of anger, a question of my character being really really frustrated, kicking some-thing aside. I think I could manage that, that would be different, then I would go into a mood and concentrate, to get a dramatic performance.
          This I tried to play for comedy, and was supposed to be a long “holy shit.” rant, and I now know, this just doesn’t work for me, at least not in english.

          So yeah, I’ll just keep playing around with what I have.
          I would like to do a prober anger performance some-day, meaning not played for laughs, but it would require actual build-up, a plot and just… every-thing.
          So if ever, it’s far out in the future.

          Right now, this is all for shits and giggles :D

          • FullofQuestions1

            What’s weird for me is that when I’ve been genuinely angry at a movie, I feel as though I’ve come off a lot more subdued in the review (case in point, Suspect Zero). The anger I manage to get when acting is not at all what I’m like when I’m actually furious- personally, I’m just a lot more quiet and shaky when mad.

          • Sofie Liv

             It’s very very rare I get genuinely angry at a movie, this movie didn’t even really make me angry, it just made me sad.

            I only get angry at movies if it’s based on a source material I love and care much about, and I walk in wanting the movie to be good because of the source material that I can get down-right frustrated, especially when it’s apparent that the movie doesn’t even try.

            But in this case, I don’t really care for the source material, so why get to angry with the movie, i’m just sad that Hollywood can get away putting out such dumb messages to the young people.

          • StevePotter

            Yeah, playing anger for laughs is something I’ve only gotten good at… never! The closest I got was playing Eeyore last month, and that was just “eh” at best. I found it funny.

  • Mike

    Loved the review. Only one teensy little thing I’d suggest for the future…
    When you were talking to well.. you (Pia) you were both looking to the left, making the conversation feel a little off. Next time maybe flip one of the shots so it looks like you’re facing each other when you do the cuts back and forth? 

    • Sofie Liv

       I know, I didn’t think that one through as I filmed, and then couldn’t find out to flip one of the images in my editors programme. Thanks though!

      :D

  • It seems that anyone who shows the slightest bit of rationality or empathy in this series is shown with disdain. That’s a positive message you want to put across to the vapid fucktards that are adolescent girls. Hopefully they’ll grow out of it but again, they do love themselves a tanned six pack chest no matter what their age. Just like guys love a nice pair of tits and a nice round arse no matter how we try and suppress that reptilian part of our brain!
    Good to hear your opinion of it Liv even if it’s been done to death already. Plus, you have quite a body to go with those brains you have, nice navel action! I think though if you wanted to go full out in portraying a Twilight fan-tard, you would have needed to get a Nutty Professor style fat suit. See Nuttymadam3575 for a reference, if you dare!

    • Sofie Liv

      And the guy who did show empathy, kindness and passion plus had that ripped tanned body was the one to get screwed over, so that just doesn’t make any sense.
      He is very hot though, he was so hot that I couldn’t help developing a crush, so that’s a little credit I can give to the movie. (I still don’t get what the appeal is with Edward though.)

      Erh, hehe, njah.. I wont claim I have the best body in the world, if I would get off my arse and train some more, I probably have real potential. If I were offered a movie contract, hell yeah I would train for it, but right now I rather sit down and not move at all while I create more videos XD

      Oh well, if I continue not moving cause I make vidoes and do re-search all the time, and continue eating crips like that, by just stuffing them in my face, I’ll get it down in no time.

      And what the hell did you just make me google? 

      Professionally insane, pff… clearly she never met my dad…

  • Arcadiassx999

    Fun review, very entertaining.   So who’s the hot blond with the long hair really?

    P.S. No potato chips were injured in the making of this video.

    • Sofie Liv

      Both girls in this review were me X)

      And there you are wrong, lots of potato chips were both hurt and devavoured doing the filming of this review.

      Thank you! :D

  • “Women are more than just another species of man with a hole in it.” that may very well be the funniest quote the internet has ever produced, lol:)

    • Sofie Liv

      X)

      Well, I happen to think it’s true. Glad you liked it :)

  • The_Stig

    I’ve always thought the other Cullens were a hell of a lot more interesting than Mopey McPoutyface. Their individual backstories were easily the best part of Eclipse.

    • Sofie Liv

      Every-body else than Edward And Bella seems to be more interesting characters than Edward and Bella, even half the twilight fans I ever talked to agrees on that :/

  • Monterey Jack

    Just so we wouldn’t have to go more than two weeks without another Twilight recap/video…

    • Sofie Liv

       Wouldn’t want to rob you of the goodiness that is twilight, I really am that nice.

      • FullofQuestions1

        Thank you for suffering for our amusement.

        • Sofie Liv

          well, every-thing for fame ;) 

  • Nuclearademan

    Your new character is like the Twilight films in a nutshell. Something pretty to look at, that doesn’t think too hard about what it’s saying and really funny to watch.

    • Sofie Liv

       X)

  • You had me at “scantily-clad.”

    • Sofie Liv

      Scantily what?

      I don’t know what that means either! 

      • MichaelANovelli

        He means you were wearing revealing clothes.

        • Sofie Liv

           Well, it’s nice to do it while I still have a nice body.
          Would suck sitting as a forty year old sighing that I never got to pimp it up just a little bit.

          It’s all for the sake of comedy though.

          • MichaelANovelli

            That’s more or less my policy about my manly chest hair.  :-)

  • Ares Lancaster

    Wait a minute, I think you’ve been describing Indoctrination…

    • Sofie Liv

      Indoctrination… I don’t even know what that means.

      Second languet person here, I literately have no idea, please explain to me D: 

      • It means planting ideas into people’s heads, manipulating their thoughts to suit that idea and being told to not question it no matter what. Make of that what you will.

  • John Sco

    Haahaha, I can’t believe you actually sat through all of this movie! I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. You’re a stronger man than I Sofie, you’re a stronger man than I.  (And you’ve really increased your overall quality since I saw your first few videos! Nice work. But please never lose that accent of yours. :D )

    • Sofie Liv

       Thank you, I am doing my best. Glad you can feel a difference.. I have no idea what of my earlier videos you saw….

      And I seriously don’t know what I could possible do to “loose” the accent… As Hugh Laurel so wisely stated.

      “people always say I am so good at loosing the accent when I play House but… I don’t loose it, I am putting one on!” Straight on man, you tell them! we don’t loose accents, we put a fake one on to please does whom wants are more recognisable tone X)

  • Egil Hellá

    Nice job ripping New Moon a new one I know that allot of people have already done that and The Twilight Sage IL probably become the new Star Wars prequels but I still enjoyed your review I really hope that you can do a review of Eclipse even if Mr Mendo has already done a review of it just do it as a nice little pay back for what he said about the awesome but freaking weird Batman Returnes and yes I know about your Scott Pilgrim review but I still think that your Twilight Sage reviews would be more complete if you also uncludet Eclipse and I also know that I have already posted a similar comment on that review but that comment was not finished but hopefully this one Il be more complete